Advertising
Advertising

13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

In December I could not get out of bed. I would lay and cry wondering how much longer I would have to endure the pain of a hard break up. It was hard. It was rock bottom.

I was in the tunnel and I felt no-where close to seeing the light at the end. I had done a lot of spiritual work the previous months and was left wondering where the magic was when I needed it most.

Advertising

There was always a little voice that broke through the pain. “Just get out of bed.” it would tell me. And luckily I listened.

Advertising

Day by day the pain came and went, but the gift of time granted my tired and injured heart peace. Gratitude and grounding began to replace the fear and heaviness I had felt. Little things became big victories. Rock bottom changed my life for the better and I look back on that time with gratitude for the compassion it allowed me to cultivate for myself and for others. I do not wish to visit it again anytime soon, but I can see the impactful and beautiful changes that my life experienced because of the hardship I went through.

Advertising

Rock bottom is hard. Maybe you have hit bottom after a break up, a death of some you love, or getting laid off from a job. Don’t compare your rock bottom to some else’s. Hard is hard. However you got there – you are there, and it hurts. At rock bottom it feels like there is no hope. I’ve been at rock bottom before, more than once. It is frustrating. It is dark. Here I am to shed a little light on that dark place.

  1. You have nothing to lose.
  2. The thing – the thing you did not want to happen – it happened. Now you can stop fearing that it will happen.
  3. There is no ‘shoulding’ at rock bottom. There is no space for ‘shoulding.’ There is only space for putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day.
  4. Rock bottom is RAW. Maybe you feel some emotions you have not felt in a long time, if not ever. Raw emotion is intense. Sometimes it knocks us in the face. But raw emotion is pure.
  5. You are cultivating strength. You will come out of this feeling stronger than ever!
  6. Everyday that you climb one step up you are gaining a confidence that will allow you to go out and happen to the world.
  7. The little things become big things. Getting out of bed is deserving of a pat on the back. Waking up to the sound of rain is southing. Life is slower at rock bottom, and we become grateful for things that we may have shrugged away at the top.
  8. Whether you know it or not – your vulnerability is inspiring others. Look at it like that: even at rock bottom you are an inspiration (well, duh! You already knew that right?)
  9. Self-compassion and self-care are no longer on the backburner. They are front and center.
  10. This is an opportunity to shed the BS. There is no energy to pretend to be ok. Destruction and lows bring clarity to our lives.
  11. Ummm…rock bottom is a perfect excuse to TREAT YOURSELF! Heck yes!
  12. Look at the spectrum you have created. Yes, feeling low is terrible. But sometimes we have to feel those things we don’t want to feel – we have to get into the raw sticky mess in order to feel even lighter on the other side. Would you rather live in here (5 inches between palms) or in here (4 feet wide wingspan of beautiful emotion)?
  13. When your life feels like it has shattered into a million little pieces, you can rebuild it however you like.

Featured photo credit: PicJumbo via picjumbo.com

Advertising

More by this author

10 Unprocessed, Vegan Protein Options 5 Steps to a Zen Commute 20 Things Every Woman in Their 20’s Should Do 7 Things I Took Away From Volunteering in a Developing Country 13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

Trending in Featured

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 26 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick 3Simple Productivity: 10 Ways to Do More by Focusing on the Essentials 4Back to Basics: Your Calendar 550 Ways to Increase Productivity and Achieve More in Less Time

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next