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13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

In December I could not get out of bed. I would lay and cry wondering how much longer I would have to endure the pain of a hard break up. It was hard. It was rock bottom.

I was in the tunnel and I felt no-where close to seeing the light at the end. I had done a lot of spiritual work the previous months and was left wondering where the magic was when I needed it most.

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There was always a little voice that broke through the pain. “Just get out of bed.” it would tell me. And luckily I listened.

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Day by day the pain came and went, but the gift of time granted my tired and injured heart peace. Gratitude and grounding began to replace the fear and heaviness I had felt. Little things became big victories. Rock bottom changed my life for the better and I look back on that time with gratitude for the compassion it allowed me to cultivate for myself and for others. I do not wish to visit it again anytime soon, but I can see the impactful and beautiful changes that my life experienced because of the hardship I went through.

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Rock bottom is hard. Maybe you have hit bottom after a break up, a death of some you love, or getting laid off from a job. Don’t compare your rock bottom to some else’s. Hard is hard. However you got there – you are there, and it hurts. At rock bottom it feels like there is no hope. I’ve been at rock bottom before, more than once. It is frustrating. It is dark. Here I am to shed a little light on that dark place.

  1. You have nothing to lose.
  2. The thing – the thing you did not want to happen – it happened. Now you can stop fearing that it will happen.
  3. There is no ‘shoulding’ at rock bottom. There is no space for ‘shoulding.’ There is only space for putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day.
  4. Rock bottom is RAW. Maybe you feel some emotions you have not felt in a long time, if not ever. Raw emotion is intense. Sometimes it knocks us in the face. But raw emotion is pure.
  5. You are cultivating strength. You will come out of this feeling stronger than ever!
  6. Everyday that you climb one step up you are gaining a confidence that will allow you to go out and happen to the world.
  7. The little things become big things. Getting out of bed is deserving of a pat on the back. Waking up to the sound of rain is southing. Life is slower at rock bottom, and we become grateful for things that we may have shrugged away at the top.
  8. Whether you know it or not – your vulnerability is inspiring others. Look at it like that: even at rock bottom you are an inspiration (well, duh! You already knew that right?)
  9. Self-compassion and self-care are no longer on the backburner. They are front and center.
  10. This is an opportunity to shed the BS. There is no energy to pretend to be ok. Destruction and lows bring clarity to our lives.
  11. Ummm…rock bottom is a perfect excuse to TREAT YOURSELF! Heck yes!
  12. Look at the spectrum you have created. Yes, feeling low is terrible. But sometimes we have to feel those things we don’t want to feel – we have to get into the raw sticky mess in order to feel even lighter on the other side. Would you rather live in here (5 inches between palms) or in here (4 feet wide wingspan of beautiful emotion)?
  13. When your life feels like it has shattered into a million little pieces, you can rebuild it however you like.

Featured photo credit: PicJumbo via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck?

Let me let you into a secret:

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky.

1. Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside your self.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

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Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can.

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No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

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They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

To improve your fortune, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to you; then try focusing on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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