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13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

13 Exciting Observation From Rock Bottom

In December I could not get out of bed. I would lay and cry wondering how much longer I would have to endure the pain of a hard break up. It was hard. It was rock bottom.

I was in the tunnel and I felt no-where close to seeing the light at the end. I had done a lot of spiritual work the previous months and was left wondering where the magic was when I needed it most.

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There was always a little voice that broke through the pain. “Just get out of bed.” it would tell me. And luckily I listened.

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Day by day the pain came and went, but the gift of time granted my tired and injured heart peace. Gratitude and grounding began to replace the fear and heaviness I had felt. Little things became big victories. Rock bottom changed my life for the better and I look back on that time with gratitude for the compassion it allowed me to cultivate for myself and for others. I do not wish to visit it again anytime soon, but I can see the impactful and beautiful changes that my life experienced because of the hardship I went through.

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Rock bottom is hard. Maybe you have hit bottom after a break up, a death of some you love, or getting laid off from a job. Don’t compare your rock bottom to some else’s. Hard is hard. However you got there – you are there, and it hurts. At rock bottom it feels like there is no hope. I’ve been at rock bottom before, more than once. It is frustrating. It is dark. Here I am to shed a little light on that dark place.

  1. You have nothing to lose.
  2. The thing – the thing you did not want to happen – it happened. Now you can stop fearing that it will happen.
  3. There is no ‘shoulding’ at rock bottom. There is no space for ‘shoulding.’ There is only space for putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day.
  4. Rock bottom is RAW. Maybe you feel some emotions you have not felt in a long time, if not ever. Raw emotion is intense. Sometimes it knocks us in the face. But raw emotion is pure.
  5. You are cultivating strength. You will come out of this feeling stronger than ever!
  6. Everyday that you climb one step up you are gaining a confidence that will allow you to go out and happen to the world.
  7. The little things become big things. Getting out of bed is deserving of a pat on the back. Waking up to the sound of rain is southing. Life is slower at rock bottom, and we become grateful for things that we may have shrugged away at the top.
  8. Whether you know it or not – your vulnerability is inspiring others. Look at it like that: even at rock bottom you are an inspiration (well, duh! You already knew that right?)
  9. Self-compassion and self-care are no longer on the backburner. They are front and center.
  10. This is an opportunity to shed the BS. There is no energy to pretend to be ok. Destruction and lows bring clarity to our lives.
  11. Ummm…rock bottom is a perfect excuse to TREAT YOURSELF! Heck yes!
  12. Look at the spectrum you have created. Yes, feeling low is terrible. But sometimes we have to feel those things we don’t want to feel – we have to get into the raw sticky mess in order to feel even lighter on the other side. Would you rather live in here (5 inches between palms) or in here (4 feet wide wingspan of beautiful emotion)?
  13. When your life feels like it has shattered into a million little pieces, you can rebuild it however you like.

Featured photo credit: PicJumbo via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

Is Procrastination Bad? The Truth About Procrastination Revealed

Is Procrastination Bad? The Truth About Procrastination Revealed

Procrastination is very literally the opposite of productivity. To produce something is to pull it forward, while to procrastinate is to push it forward — to tomorrow, to next week, or ultimately to never.

Procrastination fills us with shame — we curse ourselves for our laziness, our inability to focus on the task at hand, our tendency to be easily led into easier and more immediate gratifications. And with good reason: for the most part, time spent procrastinating is time spent not doing things that are, in some way or other, important to us.

There is a positive side to procrastination, but it’s important not to confuse procrastination at its best with everyday garden-variety procrastination.

Sometimes — sometimes! — procrastination gives us the time we need to sort through a thorny issue or to generate ideas. In those rare instances, we should embrace procrastination — even as we push it away the rest of the time.

Why We Procrastinate After All?

We procrastinate for a number of reasons, some better than others. One reason we procrastinate is that, while we know what we want to do, we need time to let the ideas “ferment” before we are ready to sit down and put them into action.

Some might call this “creative faffing”; I call it, following copywriter Ray Del Savio’s lead, “concepting”.[1]

Whatever you choose to call it, it’s the time spent dreaming up what you want to say or do, weighing ideas in your mind, following false leads and tearing off on mental wild goose chases, and generally thinking things through.

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To the outside observer, concepting looks like… well, like nothing much at all. Maybe you’re leaning back in your chair, feet up, staring at the wall or ceiling, or laying in bed apparently dozing, or looking out over the skyline or feeding pigeons in the park or fiddling with the Japanese vinyl toys that stand watch over your desk.

If ideas are the lifeblood of your work, you have to make time for concepting, and you have to overcome the sensation— often overpowering in our work-obsessed culture — that faffing, however creative, is not work.

Is Procrastination Bad?

Yes it is.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re “concepting” when in fact you’re just not sure what you’re supposed to be doing.

Spending an hour staring at the wall while thinking up the perfect tagline for a marketing campaign is creative faffing; staring at the wall for an hour because you don’t know how to come up with a tagline, or don’t know the product you’re marketing well enough to come up with one, is just wasting time.

Lack of definition is perhaps the biggest friend of your procrastination demons. When we’re not sure what to do — whether because we haven’t planned thoroughly enough, we haven’t specified the scope of what we hope to accomplish in the immediate present, or we lack important information, skills, or resources to get the job done.

It’s easy to get distracted or to trick ourselves into spinning our wheels doing nothing. It takes our mind off the uncomfortable sensation of failing to make progress on something important.

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The answer to this is in planning and scheduling. Rather than giving yourself an unspecified length of time to perform an unspecified task (“Let’s see, I guess I’ll work on that spreadsheet for a while”) give yourself a limited amount of time to work on a clearly defined task (“Now I’ll enter the figures from last months sales report into the spreadsheet for an hour”).

Giving yourself a deadline, even an artificial one, helps build a sense of urgency and also offers the promise of time to “screw around” later, once more important things are done.

For larger projects, planning plays a huge role in whether or not you’ll spend too much time procrastinating to reach the end reasonably quickly.

A good plan not only lists the steps you have to take to reach the end, but takes into account the resources, knowledge and inputs from other people you’re going to need to perform those steps.

Instead of futzing around doing nothing because you don’t have last month’s sales report, getting the report should be a step in the project.

Otherwise, you’ll spend time cooling your heels, justifying your lack of action as necessary: you aren’t wasting time because you want to, but because you have to.

How Bad Procrastination Can Be

Our mind can often trick us into procrastinating, often to the point that we don’t realize we’re procrastinating at all.

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After all, we have lots and lots of things to do; if we’re working on something, aren’t we being productive – even if the one big thing we need to work on doesn’t get done?

One way this plays out is that we scan our to-do list, skipping over the big challenging projects in favor of the short, easy projects. At the end of the day, we feel very productive: we’ve crossed twelve things off our list!

That big project we didn’t work on gets put onto the next day’s list, and when the same thing happens, it gets moved forward again. And again.

Big tasks often present us with the problem above – we aren’t sure what to do exactly, so we look for other ways to occupy ourselves.

In many cases too, big tasks aren’t really tasks at all; they’re aggregates of many smaller tasks. If something’s sitting on your list for a long time, each day getting skipped over in favor of more immediately doable tasks, it’s probably not very well thought out.

You’re actively resisting it because you don’t really know what it is. Try to break it down into a set of small tasks, something more like the tasks you are doing in place of the one big task you aren’t doing.

More consequences of procrastination can be found in this article: 8 Dreadful Effects of Procrastination That Can Destroy Your Life

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Procrastination, a Technical Failure

Procrastination is, more often than not, a sign of a technical failure, not a moral failure.

It’s not because we’re bad people that we procrastinate. Most times, procrastination serves as a symptom of something more fundamentally wrong with the tasks we’ve set ourselves.

It’s important to keep an eye on our procrastinating tendencies, to ask ourselves whenever we notice ourselves pushing things forward what it is about the task we’ve set ourselves that simply isn’t working for us.

Learn more about how to fix your procrastination problem here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: chuttersnap via unsplash.com

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