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3 Ways To Maintain A Marriage After 30 Years

3 Ways To Maintain A Marriage After 30 Years

It’s soon summer and the wedding seasons will be blooming. Happy couples will walk down the aisle for a commitment of a lifetime, proclaiming their vows and making promises that they will try to uphold. It’s a beautiful moment that brings people together from far away for a ceremony that is beautiful and breathtaking. Among the colorful bridesmaids and the happy new couple, you will notice a pair of old smiles in the crowd.

This is the one couple who have been holding their vows since day one, from the day they turned 30 till the day they turned 60. Some might say “happily ever after” is just a fairytale, but these couples are the ones to prove that marriage can withstand any hurricane with the right mindset and the right character.

Here are a few tips to help keep your marriage going strong as you grow old together.

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Old Couple

    1. Communicate your feelings

    Waking up every single day with the same person by your side, it takes effort to still fall in love with the same bad breath, the same small eyes, and the same quirky smile. It takes effort to continuously greet each other at the end of a tiring day and to juggle love, children, and careers together. Sometimes, it takes a ton of effort to be on each other’s side when times get rough.

    Communication, speaking about your feelings, and expressing your emotions is important. Good or bad, explaining and expressing yourself allows your better half to understand you better. This open communication, which may become hidden due to social media and society’s expectations, has been key for all the old adorable couples you watch in the park.

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      2. Ensure the importance of alone time

      Before marriage, you are your own individual. You have your own circle of friends and family, career, and hobbies where your significant other wouldn’t necessarily be present. You meet your special person every now and then and speak about how your day was and what you did. Your conversations are always interesting and entertaining.

      This concept of alone time doesn’t have to be thrown out the window the moment you take up the vow of togetherness. Many couples that have been together for years know almost everything about each other. They become one person. So, having just that 10% of individuality and alone time allows one to still retain their own personality. If you’re assuming that marriage means a chain to your better half’s leg, then you should change your perspective — real life still isn’t Cinderella.

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        3. Avoid being addicted to something

        Marriage can sometimes cause you to crave a new personality. This emotion is a slippery slope. Online gambling is one of the favorite second personalities that many couples in the UK take up. This has proven to be one of the biggest reasons why new marriages breaking apart.

        If ever this situation occurs, talk to your family members and your therapist. They will help you reflect upon yourself and allow you to avoid that slippery slope. This care from your family and others that contributes to your everyday smile is a huge gamble to lose. You should always have a therapist or a trusted advisor on speed dial to help you avoid being caught in a bad situation with no one to turn to.

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        Remember that being married to a person means more than just a happy ending. It means you’ve got to put up with their laziness and they have to put up with your annoyances. However, it also means that you get to bring out and see the best in yourselves and in each other.

        Featured photo credit: Shenkeri Chandramohan via facebook.com

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        Last Updated on June 3, 2020

        19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

        19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

        What is success?

        Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

        The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

        Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

        1. Success is always doing your best.

        Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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        2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

        Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

        3. Success is having a place to call home.

        Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

        4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

        If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

        5. Success is believing you can.

        If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

        6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

        Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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        7. Success is taking care of your needs.

        Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

        8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

        Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

        9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

        Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

        10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

        You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

        11. Success is overcoming fear.

        Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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        12. Success is learning something new each day.

        Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

        13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

        Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

        14. Success is loving and being loved back.

        Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

        15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

        Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

        16. Success is not giving up.

        Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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        17. Success is celebrating small victories.

        Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

        18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

        Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

        19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

        Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

        The Bottom Line

        Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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        Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

        Reference

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