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8 Ways To Use A Tough Break Up To Become A Better Version Of Yourself

8 Ways To Use A Tough Break Up To Become A Better Version Of Yourself

Sometimes, breakups feel like the end of the world. In a sense, it is an end, but it’s only the end of that particular relationship. It’s also the beginning of a new relationship, the most important relationship of all — the one with yourself.

Breaking up with someone is like moving out of an old house. It takes time and effort, and it requires you to let go of stuff. However, it also allows you to reevaluate some of your own personal baggage and belongings and decide whether or not they are serving any purpose.

If you’re going through a tough breakup, think of it as a grand opportunity. Here are 8 ways to become a better version of yourself after a painful breakup.

1. Remember your passions.

Relationships are time-consuming. The hours you used to spend practicing an instrument, reading, writing, playing a sport, or traveling suddenly turn into hours spent with your significant other. We often forget about what drove us or brought us real pleasure before falling in love.

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This is a chance to remember what you’re passionate about and pursue it again. You never know where this pursuit might lead you.

2. Start a journal.

One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to start a journal. When in a relationship, we often lose sight of who we are because we’re so focused on our significant other. It’s important, especially during a breakup when you’re feeling vulnerable, to turn your attention inward.

Writing down your thoughts, fears, aspirations, and observations of the world is a great way to process and understand your own emotions.

Research shows that journaling not only decreases stress, it can also help you cope and heal after a traumatic experience.

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3. Spend time with people you’ve neglected.

Be honest. You haven’t been as available to friends and family as you were before you got into a relationship. It happens to the best of us.

Like I said before, relationships are time-consuming. It’s easy to spend every available moment with your significant other, creating a distance between you and the other people in your life.

Breakups are a perfect time to mend those other relationships and remember who you are as a single individual.

4. Don’t rely on friends to cheer you up.

If they care about you, they’ll do it whether you’re depending on them to or not. It’s important to cheer yourself up first. Don’t be that friend who disappeared when they got tied down only to reappear as a total mess after the relationship abruptly ended.

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Use your own sadness to reflect and relate to other people who are going through a tough experience. Inspire them with acceptance and positivity.

5. Don’t stalk your ex.

Nothing good has ever come from stalking. It will only make you pity yourself and seem creepy. The best revenge you could ever get on a painful breakup is not caring — or, at least, seeming like you don’t care.

You might have to pretend at first. Fake it until you make it. Eventually you’ll stop thinking about them. Eventually you’ll stop missing them and obsessively thinking how to get back together with them. You can’t do either of these things if you’re obsessing over their social media accounts or showing up at places where you know they’ll be. Let them go so that you can move on.

6. Practice forgiveness.

You should forgive your ex and yourself. Forgiveness is a virtue that doesn’t come easily to a lot of people. It is also a virtue that, when accomplished, engraves true character in a person.

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Staying angry or holding a grudge only hurts yourself. Having the will and grace to forgive is true strength.

7. Embrace your freedom.

We all strive to be easy-going, free-spirited people. A tough breakup is the perfect test of this characteristic. Do you have what it takes to move on, to embrace your newfound freedom and take advantage of the situation?

When you have the right attitude, being single is actually pretty great. It’s a chance to be selfish and focus on yourself and nobody else. It’s an opportunity to open your eyes and work on self improvement.

When you’re ready, it’s a chance to meet other people, which will, in turn, introduce you to yourself again.

8. Travel.

The worst thing you could do during a tough breakup is lock yourself in your room. Get out there! Explore. Travel. If you don’t have the funds to go on an actual trip, drive down the road to a local bar or café or park.

New experiences are waiting for you at every turn you take, and they will teach you about yourself and the type of people you attract.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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