Advertising
Advertising

5 Common Mistakes People Make in Staying Motivated

5 Common Mistakes People Make in Staying Motivated

Imagine sitting on a cozy swaying hammock on one of the most exquisite islands of the Caribbean. Listening to the rippling waves thrusting against the rocks, you inhale the majestic aroma of the ocean. The sunlight beams into your eyes and you just feel the incredible urge to smile. When you look up into the bright blue skies, you spot a jet passing. This intrigues you, getting you motivated to fly high in pursuit of your goals.

aircraft-862216_960_720

    What makes this jet so high, so fast, and so efficient?

    This jet (along with similar aircrafts) uses 80% of its fuel just for takeoff. The other 20% suffice for the rest of the journey. Fun fact right? You might ask, “But I’m not a jet, Shay. What does this have to do with me?”

    Quite frankly, I think aircrafts are super cool, exciting, and valuable… exactly the way I view you. Even if you don’t think so, I still do. You’ll catch up with reality some day. For now, think of your makeup as somewhat similar to a jet.

    Advertising

    Check out these points that you tend to forget when it comes to motivation.

    1. Motivation is needed most at takeoff. 

    People tend to forget that the beginning is always the hardest. Why? The foundation of anything needs to be the strongest point so the process will be much smoother. Before you can cruise or have a flow, a robust momentum must be created. Would you use the weakest blocks to begin a 3 story house? Absolutely not! So why do you think a little motivation can suffice for a whole project? That’s absurd.

    You should bear in mind that the best foundation is having a strong and firm belief system. Here is where you will probably find the most pain, barriers, and hardships. Be open to changes but with a balance of believing firmly that you can accomplish what you set out to do. You must not only believe, you must KNOW that it is possible.

    2. Discipline is motivation on autopilot. 

    Before the jet can continue on its path, it doesn’t need as much fuel anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it still needs fuel to go, but just not as much. It’s the same with us humans. After trying over and over then failing, we tend to think we need the same amount of motivation that we began with. This is another common mistake.

    Advertising

    It will take a mighty long time to gain the same motivation you started off with; however, you only need 20% to continue. If you can manage to maintain more than that without beating yourself up, then I’m very proud of you.

    3. Motivation is like a ramp. 

    I’ve been working at the JFK Airport in New York for a while now. To get on the aircraft, I’ve got to walk up and down ramps most times. Did you see that? UP and DOWN. Motivation along with anything in this life has similar principles. There are levels, and if you don’t go up your motivation ramp enough you are going to be out of breath when you get to the top. What’s so wrong with being breathless if you’ve reached the goal by getting to the top? Why work towards something you won’t be able to enjoy? Let’s not be backwards now. Life has much more to offer than to strive for something that you’re not going to reap the full rewards.

    How do you exercise on these ramps in real life? Attack your problems like a beast! Whenever issues arise, go headway in KNOWING that you’re in control. You can conquer anything!

    4. Motivation requires a captain aboard. 

    For the jet to have a successful flight, it requires a captain or two. Who will drive you if you depend on yourself for everything? It is possible but much harder when you do it alone. Remember that saying, “NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. NO MAN STANDS ALONE”? Accountability is needed, along with guidance from mentors, books, or somewhere else. Just make sure you have that special someone who has the knowledge, stature, and wisdom to help you move from point A to point B. They can be vital in your success.

    Advertising

    How long will you study on a subject? You won’t always see eye to eye, but remember to be humble. Gather the information and steps, act on them, and create your own legacy. Always be grateful to the things and people who aid in getting the results you once prayed for.

    5. Map the motivation route.

    Alas, we have arrived. How can you arrive somewhere of which you don’t have a route for? How can you have a route without mapping it? You must know where you’re headed. If you have no idea where that is, no captain can help you and your fuel will be wasted. Set out with one specific goal then work towards that. People make this mistake then give up afterwards.

    If you even want to wander around, you must have a specific reason why you’re doing it. Give it a certain time-frame for how long you wish to wander and alternate for results. I map my goals is by using an app called Lift. I create my goals then it reminds me throughout the day to get the goal done. I got it from a mentor. Now you don’t have a reason not to act on your map.

    You can also listen to audiobooks on YouTube and find that specific thing that excites you. Keep doing it over and over. If it isn’t maintained, your jet loses power then eventually loses value.

    Advertising

    Conclusion

    Now you can avoid all of these mistakes we often make. Invest in you and the power waiting to burst out. The world needs you and what you have to offer. The grind is never over, so keep on with it.

    Always remember to try.

    Featured photo credit: Paul Szigety via unsplash.com

    More by this author

    5 Common Mistakes People Make in Staying Motivated It Can Be Painful But You’ll Learn The Most By Failing How to Get Over Family Feuds that lead to Stress, Anxiety and Depression Award winning Cheatsheet to turn your life around. Try these amazing steps today. Amazing Benefits of Aloe Vera (+5 Beauty Recipes)

    Trending in 20-Something

    1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 If You Want To Get Help From Others Easily, Remember To Avoid This Mistake 3 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 4 What GoT Would Be Like if the Characters Used Social Media 5 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

    Advertising

    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

    Advertising

    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

    Advertising

    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

    Advertising

    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

    More Articles About Effective Communication

    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next