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5 Common Mistakes People Make in Staying Motivated

5 Common Mistakes People Make in Staying Motivated

Imagine sitting on a cozy swaying hammock on one of the most exquisite islands of the Caribbean. Listening to the rippling waves thrusting against the rocks, you inhale the majestic aroma of the ocean. The sunlight beams into your eyes and you just feel the incredible urge to smile. When you look up into the bright blue skies, you spot a jet passing. This intrigues you, getting you motivated to fly high in pursuit of your goals.

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    What makes this jet so high, so fast, and so efficient?

    This jet (along with similar aircrafts) uses 80% of its fuel just for takeoff. The other 20% suffice for the rest of the journey. Fun fact right? You might ask, “But I’m not a jet, Shay. What does this have to do with me?”

    Quite frankly, I think aircrafts are super cool, exciting, and valuable… exactly the way I view you. Even if you don’t think so, I still do. You’ll catch up with reality some day. For now, think of your makeup as somewhat similar to a jet.

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    Check out these points that you tend to forget when it comes to motivation.

    1. Motivation is needed most at takeoff. 

    People tend to forget that the beginning is always the hardest. Why? The foundation of anything needs to be the strongest point so the process will be much smoother. Before you can cruise or have a flow, a robust momentum must be created. Would you use the weakest blocks to begin a 3 story house? Absolutely not! So why do you think a little motivation can suffice for a whole project? That’s absurd.

    You should bear in mind that the best foundation is having a strong and firm belief system. Here is where you will probably find the most pain, barriers, and hardships. Be open to changes but with a balance of believing firmly that you can accomplish what you set out to do. You must not only believe, you must KNOW that it is possible.

    2. Discipline is motivation on autopilot. 

    Before the jet can continue on its path, it doesn’t need as much fuel anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it still needs fuel to go, but just not as much. It’s the same with us humans. After trying over and over then failing, we tend to think we need the same amount of motivation that we began with. This is another common mistake.

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    It will take a mighty long time to gain the same motivation you started off with; however, you only need 20% to continue. If you can manage to maintain more than that without beating yourself up, then I’m very proud of you.

    3. Motivation is like a ramp. 

    I’ve been working at the JFK Airport in New York for a while now. To get on the aircraft, I’ve got to walk up and down ramps most times. Did you see that? UP and DOWN. Motivation along with anything in this life has similar principles. There are levels, and if you don’t go up your motivation ramp enough you are going to be out of breath when you get to the top. What’s so wrong with being breathless if you’ve reached the goal by getting to the top? Why work towards something you won’t be able to enjoy? Let’s not be backwards now. Life has much more to offer than to strive for something that you’re not going to reap the full rewards.

    How do you exercise on these ramps in real life? Attack your problems like a beast! Whenever issues arise, go headway in KNOWING that you’re in control. You can conquer anything!

    4. Motivation requires a captain aboard. 

    For the jet to have a successful flight, it requires a captain or two. Who will drive you if you depend on yourself for everything? It is possible but much harder when you do it alone. Remember that saying, “NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. NO MAN STANDS ALONE”? Accountability is needed, along with guidance from mentors, books, or somewhere else. Just make sure you have that special someone who has the knowledge, stature, and wisdom to help you move from point A to point B. They can be vital in your success.

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    How long will you study on a subject? You won’t always see eye to eye, but remember to be humble. Gather the information and steps, act on them, and create your own legacy. Always be grateful to the things and people who aid in getting the results you once prayed for.

    5. Map the motivation route.

    Alas, we have arrived. How can you arrive somewhere of which you don’t have a route for? How can you have a route without mapping it? You must know where you’re headed. If you have no idea where that is, no captain can help you and your fuel will be wasted. Set out with one specific goal then work towards that. People make this mistake then give up afterwards.

    If you even want to wander around, you must have a specific reason why you’re doing it. Give it a certain time-frame for how long you wish to wander and alternate for results. I map my goals is by using an app called Lift. I create my goals then it reminds me throughout the day to get the goal done. I got it from a mentor. Now you don’t have a reason not to act on your map.

    You can also listen to audiobooks on YouTube and find that specific thing that excites you. Keep doing it over and over. If it isn’t maintained, your jet loses power then eventually loses value.

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    Conclusion

    Now you can avoid all of these mistakes we often make. Invest in you and the power waiting to burst out. The world needs you and what you have to offer. The grind is never over, so keep on with it.

    Always remember to try.

    Featured photo credit: Paul Szigety via unsplash.com

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    Last Updated on April 14, 2021

    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

    Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

    Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

    Expressing Anger

    Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

    Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

    Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

    Being Passive-Aggressive

    This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

    Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

    This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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    Poorly-Timed

    Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

    An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

    Ongoing Anger

    Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

    Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

    Healthy Ways to Express Anger

    What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

    Being Honest

    Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

    Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

    Being Direct

    Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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    Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

    Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

    Being Timely

    When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

    Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

    Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

    How to Deal With Anger

    If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

    1. Slow Down

    From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

    In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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    When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

    2. Focus on the “I”

    Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

    When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

    3. Work out

    When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

    Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

    Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

    If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

    4. Seek Help When Needed

    There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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    5. Practice Relaxation

    We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

    That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

    Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

    6. Laugh

    Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

    7. Be Grateful

    It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

    Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

    Final Thoughts

    Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

    During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

    Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

    More Resources on Anger Management

    Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

    Reference

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