Advertising
Advertising

6 Evergreen Tips To Help You Stay Positive In Tough Times

6 Evergreen Tips To Help You Stay Positive In Tough Times

If you’ve read the book “Defiant”, about POWs held captive during the Vietnam War, you can’t help but think of how persistent the human spirit can be when put under not only immense physical pressure but also emotional stress. And what about spending 27 years in prison like Nelson Mendela did? Given the worst of circumstances, a majority of us will surely have moments of giving up and only a few will constantly put up a fight.

It can be said that we are our worst enemies and that the mind is the only barrier stopping us from getting what we want out of a bad experience. If only we are able to fluidly position our minds and be able to extract the positives, no matter how minute, out of a bad situation, then we will be successful in overcoming tough times no matter what.

Advertising

Here are our 6 tips to help you stay positive in tough times and we hope that it will help you overcome any obstacles you might have in life now.

1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Most of the time we become angry at ourselves for being in a tight situation. The moment we get into an unfavourable place, we blame ourselves for not being good enough to avoid it. Sometimes, our ego eats away at our motivation as well because we are unable to accept our weaknesses.

Advertising

The solution? Laugh in the face of adversity! And we mean literally. You will be surprised that it will work wonders. By not taking ourselves too seriously, we will eventually be more accepting of our weakness. Can’t get a laugh? Be around a funny friend or watch a comedy.

2. Think About The Good Things You Have Done

Out of all the bad things that have happened, there are the good things that we have done and achieved. Think about the last time you did something great which is also relative to the sticky situation you are in. For example, if you’re a salesperson and business have not been good, think about those times when you really soared and possibly the greater things in life such as being top in sales before.

Advertising

3. Exercise

When the going gets tough, the tough exercise. Exercise has been proven time and time again to be able to shove stress under the rug and keep it there until you are in the right mindset to tackle it. And even if you are not facing hardship, try to keep active for about 20 minutes a day which experts say will benefit mind, soul and body.

4. Do Not Care About What People Say

Do remember that judging is a basic survival instinct that we humans have developed to assess our surroundings for danger. Everyone judges and you shouldn’t care about what people might say because more often than not, the one judging with a lack of any concrete information is not any better themselves as they can be judged as having a closed and ignorant mind.

Advertising

5. Do Not Fret Over What You Cannot Control

And most often, it is the things that we cannot control that we fret most about. But how about looking at the bigger picture and focus on the things that you can control instead. For example, a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and instead of fretting over the illness, her husband has been trying hard to improve her current way of life by bringing her on holidays and changing her diet for the better.

6. Slow Down For A Bit

Psychologist, Tony Bernhard, mentioned that slowing down when your stress level is high can help reduce that stress. Give it a try when you’re thinking, surfing the internet or cleaning the house and slow it down to the point of slow motion and you will experience the stress sliding out form you.

Featured photo credit: Positive Mindset via businessmindsunited.com

More by this author

Lim Kairen

Content Writer

If You Want To Be Successful In Life, You Shouldn’t Say These 7 Phrases Easily Here Is What Your Farts Reveal About Your Digestive Health Everyone Is Talented In Their Own Way: The 9 Types Of Intelligence You Should Know Psychologists Explain How Boring Buildings Are Harmful To Our Mental Health Upgrade Your Water: 6 Things To Add To Water For Better Digestive Health

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next