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Top 6 Tips to Look Younger in Your Middle Years

Top 6 Tips to Look Younger in Your Middle Years

When I was in my 20’s I was a theater nurse. You would be amazed at the conversations that would take place while you, the patient, was asleep. Nothing seemed off limits, albeit I did not have to listen to topics that are commonly discussed on television programs such as Grey’s Anatomy but nevertheless discussions would be lively.

What did amaze me back in my younger years was the way older women would discuss their tips on how to not only look younger but feel younger. Just because they had reached middle age did not mean that they were ready to be relegated to the Blue-Rinse Club quite yet.

Now that I find myself reaching the middle years I wish I had this lively group of women around me to keep me young and share in their laughter. I may find myself thankful to be tucked away in my comfy bed at 10.30pm as opposed to 3am after a night out dancing but I am not quite ready to surrender myself to the ageing process completely just yet.

If you are like me and suddenly realized that you are now in your middle years here are 6 top tips to help you look, AND FEEL, younger in your middle years.

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1. Take a good look at your diet

For many women in their middle years, this will be coupled with the start of menopause and with menopause comes hot flushes and night sweats which can leave a woman feeling tired and exhausted which is one sure way of speeding up the ageing process.

Also, when you were younger you may have found you were able to eat what you felt like without any weight gain, but now that you are in your middle years, you are gaining more weight than ever before.

Simple foods are usually tolerated better such as salads and fresh fruits as opposed to starchy processed carbohydrates.

2. Maintaining a healthy sex life

Nothing beats looking younger in your middle years than a healthy sex life. Some women find their libido decreasing to the point of being non-existent.

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If you are experiencing a diminished sex drive now is the time to slow down, take time out to meditate and rest, get regular exercise, and improve nutrition by eating a diet rich in plant-based whole foods.

3. Stay Hydrated and Drink Cucumber Water

Staying hydrated will help your skin stay supple and smooth. Add another twist by adding in cucumbers to your water intake means you’re getting extra nutrients that helps even more. Cucumbers contain silica, which provides extra benefits to the skin.

4. Apply Sunscreen

Applying sunscreen is very important in protecting against melanomas, but it can also slow down the ageing process. An Australian scientific study has discovered that people who regularly apply sunscreen have 24 per cent less skin ageing than people who only use sunscreen occasionally.

The study, which was published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, looked at  900 people under 55 and discovered those regularly using sunscreens were less likely to have increased skin ageing after 4.5 years, even those in middle age.

5. Start the Day With A Green Smoothie

I love to start my day with a green smoothie.

Looking younger on the outside starts on the inside and with all your hormones burning out of control, having a green smoothie every day is one of the best remedies to decrease the heat and banish the hot flushes.

You will notice a visible difference in your skin and eyes. Here is an article I wrote expanding on the benefits of green smoothies as well as a simple, tasty recipe.

6. Stay Positive and Smile

Do you suffer from what is referred to as Marionette lines? Marionette lines are the pronounced crease that runs from the corners of the mouth to down along the chin.

As collagen in the face decreases with age, skin tends to crease and fold around the mouth. While not everyone experiences marionette lines, they can be quite bothersome for those who do as they can give the face an unhappy expression.

Genetics do play a role in the development of these lines, but there are some factors that can exacerbate the situation such as too much sun exposure, smoking and poor diet.

My top tip is to make sure to exercise your mouth every day and take note of how you may be “over relaxing” with a downward smile. Have a look at your mouth right now as you are reading this article. Turn your smile up and exercise your facial muscles and that way you can limit the downward slippery slope of Marionette lines!

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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