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7 Tips To Help A Loved One Come To Grips With Chemical Dependency

7 Tips To Help A Loved One Come To Grips With Chemical Dependency

Most people are blind to their chemical dependency. It seems like everyone can see it but them.

Many of us have friends or family members struggling with chemical dependency. It’s natural to want to get them help, but first they need to realize there’s a problem. How do you open your loved one’s eyes? A well-planned and delivered conversation is crucial.

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Take time to do it right. Otherwise, you may completely lose your loved one’s trust.

1. Educate Yourself

Take stock of the signs, symptoms, and behaviors you’ve observed that make you believe a loved one has a chemical dependency. Dependency isn’t just linked to illegal drugs; people can become dependent on any of a wide range of products, from caffeine to pain killers to alcohol. Do some research to know what you’re dealing with.

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2. Expect Denial

People with chemical dependency may tell themselves or others they can quit the habit any time, but their bodies say otherwise. Those who’ve begun the descent into drug use find it increasingly harder to dig their way out. They need to use more frequently and in higher quantities to achieve the same high. Marijuana users will often transition to stronger opiates like OxyContin or heroin. Denial is part of the cycle of addiction.

3. Have A Plan

Practice or write out what you’re going to say. Anticipate a few scenarios based on your loved one’s potential reactions. Some people might admit they’re using drugs but don’t think they have a problem. Others may deny using at all. If things get too tense, stay calm and change the subject. Don’t bail! Leave on a positive note, letting your loved one know you’re always available.

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4. Don’t Go On the Attack

It’s tempting to stage an intervention or use “tough love” to try to convince users that they have a problem. But accusing or attacking someone struggling with chemical dependency builds a wall between the two of you. This doesn’t mean you won’t have to be assertive at some point, but going on a rant about why you think your loved one is using isn’t the answer. You may be upset, but it’s important to keep your emotions in check. Talk to a close friend to stay clear headed and calm. Never threaten, punish, or bribe anyone into admitting the problem. Making them feel guilty or bad about themselves only increases their likelihood of detaching themselves further from friends and family.

5. Ask Questions

Your loved one may have suffered a major loss, like a divorce or the death of a family member, that spurred this dependency. People cope with loss in many different ways. We all experience different emotions, so assuming how your loved one is feeling can actually hurt your relationship. Maybe everything on the outside appears to be going great, but you’ll never know what your loved one is going through if you don’t ask. Start with general topics like work, school, or friends. Avoid “you” statements—they make confrontational situations worse. Replace, “You never show up when we make plans,” with, “I’ve noticed that we haven’t talked in a while. I miss seeing you.”

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6. Keep It Honest

It won’t be easy, but you’ll have to explain why you suspect your loved one of suffering with chemical dependency. You may notice every time you hang out that your loved one is popping pain pills at an unhealthy rate. Maybe the trashcan is loaded with liquor bottles. Or you’ve noticed physical symptoms like sudden weight loss. Whether your loved one admits there’s a problem or denies even the most obvious evidence, it’s okay to explain that you’re concerned.

7. Offer Help

Your loved one won’t likely want to sign up for rehab after one talk. It often takes multiple conversations over time before some people are ready to seek professional help. Pay attention to reactions during these conversations, so you recognize when to end them or change the subject. Always assure your loved one that you’re only a text, email, or phone call away. Schedule time together doing things you both enjoy. If you don’t get a response, always follow up. When the time seems right, offer a pamphlet or two that explain symptoms and what to do next. It’s important for others to offer help in a way that works for those who are struggling. When they are ready, you can join them during rehab visits or meet them after an appointment. Remember, be sincere (not pushy) when you ask, “How can I help you?”. Your loved one will need you during treatment and beyond.

Helping people realize they are suffering with chemical dependency is never easy. Acknowledging the problem is the first step they can take towards receiving the treatment they need to live longer, healthier lives in recovery. Giving your loved one careful guidance and support along the way can make a huge difference, and even help strengthen your relationship with them.

Featured photo credit: http://stokpic.com/ via stokpic.com

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Dan Gellman

Director of Marketing for High Focus Centers

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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