Advertising
Advertising

20 Ways Celebrities, Parents, and You Can Combat Bullying

20 Ways Celebrities, Parents, and You Can Combat Bullying

When Beyoncé dropped her Lemonade flick with the world a few weeks ago, the Internet, of course, went berserk. But then came the immediate attacks following the “Becky with good hair” lyric from her short film.

Her fans, notoriously known as the “BeyHive,” attacked other celebrities, assuming they were the proverbial “Becky,” causing the rift between Beyoncé and her famous husband, Rachel Roy and Rita Ora.

But there has to come to a point where I’m sure Beyoncé probably thinks her fans take things a little too far. Bullying, be it in person or online, is never OK. Roy eventually tweeted her frustration with the attacks, when some of the “BeyHive” bullied her teenage daughter.

And that’s just one recent incident. Malia Obama recently decided on Harvard as her school of choice in the next two years. But when Fox News posted the story to their website, the President’s daughter was bullied immediately. The commentary got so bad, Fox News had to close the post to comments.

Let’s not forget the Old Navy ad of the biracial family that met a barrage of racist insults and comments. It was so bad, Jack McCain, son of Senator John McCain, came out in public to slam the insults.

And it doesn’t end there! Dejah Jones of Newport News, Virginia; Nicole Mittendorff of Fairfax, Virginia; Amy Inita Joyner-Francis of Wilmington, Delaware; Destiny Gleason of Warrenton, Missouri — all of these individuals recently took their young lives from the result of constant bullying. The list is as long as time itself.

Advertising

So what gives? Does Beyoncé, Old Navy, and Fox News have at least a moral obligation to combat extreme bullying? In fact, why not everyone put more of an effort into fighting against bullying? Yes, our country was founded on free speech and liberty, but it was also founded on ensuring domestic tranquility and promoting general welfare to one another, per The Constitution.

So, let’s all work to put bullying in its place. Here’s a list of ideas to adapt to get started.

1. Speak up.

If you see something, say something. Not speaking is not an excuse. There are entirely too many anonymous avenues available in workplaces, schools, and universities to allow bullying to continue.

2. Don’t share social media depicting bullying.

We have a real problem with glorifying violence. Chances are you see at least one video of kids viciously fighting or bullying each other on social media once a week. Don’t fuel the fire by sharing it.

3. If you do share, give ways to stop it.

And implement it in your life. It’s one thing to share something because you’re disgusted by it. It’s another thing to leave a disproving comment and then do nothing to change your own behavior. Facebook and Twitter both have functions to report abusive material. Use it. If enough people report abusive posts, these companies will have no choice but to act.

4. Write more letters to leaders.

If your child is being bullied, inform the principal. If the principal wants to sit on their hands, inform the superintendent. If they decide to twiddle their thumbs, inform the major or the local television station. Everyone has someone to answer to.

Advertising

5. You’re not entitled to your own opinion.

I know this is an American right. But think about it. If you were really allowed to say whatever you want, why are there affirmative action laws in most workplaces? So, while legally you are allowed to have an opinion, it could cost you your job or livelihood. You’re entitled to your opinion, not a job. Learn to shut it up and keep things to yourself.

6. Learn empathy.

Words do hurt. Take yourself out of your bubble and try to understand words that don’t affect you could wreck havoc on someone else. We don’t know each other’s story, so don’t assume a little name calling or teasing is OK in every situation.

7. Recall some of your misfortune.

Before you start teasing the new coworker on the job for being a little out of the loop, simply recall how ridiculously clueless you were starting out on a new job. Yeah, doesn’t feel good, does it?

8. Humble yourself.

Not everything requires to be pointed to and laughed at simply because everyone else is laughing. Someone who was a great friend maybe turned into a real jerk. Humble yourself and do not fall into that category.

9. Pull out your cell phone and share it — with law enforcement

If you’re going to use social media to call out bullying, make sure the local law enforcement officials know, especially if it’s a serious crime taking place. And from the looks of many bullying videos that turned into brawls, it wouldn’t hurt to forward your video to the cops.

10. Stop giving excuses for kids.

In Shawano, Wisconsin, fining parents for bullying is a reality. Stop saying kids will be kids and other lame excuses. It could cost you a ton of money! And yes, this law in this small town is growing to be quite popular around the country. You’ve been warned!

Advertising

11. Don’t be scared to be an iron-fist parent.

Sometimes a little tough love is all it takes to get bullying children to realize their behavior will not be tolerated. Cut the phone and iPad use. Disconnect the laptop and cable. Cancel all their leisure activities until they can show and improve their behavior towards others.

12. Stand up for yourself.

You have a right not to be physically or verbally antagonized. And if they don’t want to listen, have an authority figure break it down to them.

13. Know when to get authorities involved.

Be able to distinguish horseplay from nefarious play. And if you’re not 100% sure, get them involved anyway and let them make the determination.

14. Use your platform.

Are you so proud of your thousands of Instagram and Twitter followers? Use your own platform to reach thousands of people in your own network when promoting anti-bullying.

15. Encourage celebrities to use their platform.

Simply because celebrities are celebrities, they shouldn’t sit idle and allow people to viciously attack others, especially if it’s being done in their name. Many celebrities, like Lady Gaga, have spoke up about bullying. In fact, she started an anti-bullying foundation. Unfortunately, her message needs to be heard throughout all of Tinseltown a little louder.

16. Know your harassment laws in the workplace.

Some of your coworkers will treat the workplace like a playground. If you suspect bullying, even if you’ve informed your supervisor, get familiar with workplace harassment laws just in case. You never know when you’ll have to call legal counsel to get your point across that you will not be bullied at work.

Advertising

17. Please. Please. Please don’t be scared to talk to someone.

Many of the poor souls who’ve taken their lives over bullying tend to have one thing in common: the lack of support. If you’re being bullied, please don’t feel you’re alone in the world. There are many online bullying forums to chat about bullying anonymously if you’re scared to address it in person.

18. Join anonymous groups — even if you’re not being bullied.

It makes even more sense to take a peek every now and then into forums if you’re a parent of a bullied child or someone you love’s being bullied. Get help, insight, and tips from others actually going through the ringer.

19. Encourage stricter laws for bullying around the world.

Shawano, Wisconsin is on to something with fining parents for bullying. Other cities and countries should follow suit. Hitting people where it hurts the most (their wallet) gives them no choice but to MAKE change happen or face some serious legal ramifications.

20. Don’t feed the trolls.

Many bullies are simply crying for attention. Don’t give it to them. Let them bask in their own misery alone.

21. Stop sitting idle.

When we hear about another young person taking his or her life, it’s not enough to pray and wish their family strength. Going to town hall meetings, speaking out about the deaths of numerous young people to administrations that are often left shrugging their shoulders, going to the media, or even campaigning to Capitol Hill are some of the loudest ways you can combat bullying.

Featured photo credit: Sad by Loren Kerns via flickr.com

More by this author

20 Ways Celebrities, Parents, and You Can Combat Bullying 10 Ways to Find Happiness, Success, and Awakening As A Single Parent 17 Time Management Hacks for Entrepreneurs With ADHD Best Things To Eat When Pregnant 9 Things Only People With Albinism Can Understand

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next