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If You Think Guilt Can Help You Discipline Yourself, You’re Totally Wrong

If You Think Guilt Can Help You Discipline Yourself, You’re Totally Wrong

In an experiment conducted by psychologists Clair Adams and Mark Leary, women who were watching their weight were encouraged to eat doughnuts and candy. The aim of the experiment was to find out if people will indulge less if they do not feel guilty about it.

The experiment

The dieting women were divided into two groups. One group was encouraged to feel better about breaking their diets, while the other group were left to feel guilty about it. At the end of the experiment, the psychologists would determine which group ate the most candy.

The women were told that they would be participating in two distinct studies. The first study would look at the effects of the food on a person’s mood. The second study would be a taste test.

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In the first study, each woman was directed to select either a chocolate or glazed doughnut and to finish it within a four-minute time frame. They were then told to drink a full glass of water. The aim was to make the women feel guilty and overly full.

After the first study, the group that was encouraged to feel better about breaking their diet were given the following message: “Sometimes, participants feel guilty about eating a whole doughnut, but you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself about it. Remember that everyone indulges sometimes.” This message was intended to help these women get rid of some of their guilt. The second group did not receive any message.

Both groups were then given candy and told to sample each candy and rate it. They were told to eat as much candy as they like so that they could achieve an accurate rating.

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The results

The remaining candy was weighed by the researchers.

The women who were given the message to feel less guilty about having eaten the doughnut ate approximately 28 grams of the candy. Comparatively, the women who were allowed to feel guilty ate almost 70 grams.

The researchers concluded from these results that feeling guilty leads to indulging more.

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Let us take a look at some examples of scenarios that may leave you feeling guilty and see why these guilty feelings may lead to overindulging in unwanted behavior.

Drinking too much

You may find that lately you have been drinking too much alcohol. Your efforts to reduce the amount you are drinking are not working and you are left feeling guilty about it. The guiltier you feel, the more you drink. It becomes a vicious circle.

Procrastinating when there is work to be done

You have a lot of work to do but all you are doing is procrastinating. You feel guilty about procrastinating and hence you continue to put off your work. The guiltier you feel, the less work you find yourself doing.

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Spending too much money on jewellery or clothing

You may be splurging on jewellery and clothing, buying yourself something new every time you walk into a shop. The money you are spending seems to be adding up, but the more remorseful you feel about it, the more you find yourself buying and buying.

Gambling too much

You have been gambling a lot lately. All the money you have in your savings seems to be going to waste. The more you gamble, the worse you feel about it. You are guilty and you don’t know what to do. However, it seems that the guiltier you feel, the more you gamble.

Smoking too much

You may be a heavy smoker. You have tried several times to quite but without success. You feel very guilty every time you smoke a cigarette, but this only leaves you craving the next cigarette even more. The more remorse you feel about smoking, the more you smoke.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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