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5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

Romance is about the little things but honestly, it is actually pretty involving because it requires emotional awareness, good listening skills, sustained attention and planning capabilities. All in all, being romantic isn’t just about displaying a quick mental capability but is also about making and committing to a long lasting investment.

There are numerous reasons why some husbands cringe and panic when the subject of romance is broached. Some of which is due to the pressure of meeting expectations and not disappointing their spouses.

However, let me clarify who I had in mind when I wrote this article –

  1. This is for those who constantly hear how unromantic they are or have become
  2. This is for those who are tired of going with the usual gifts such as flowers, card, and perfumes
  3. This is for those who want to cultivate a steady and continuous romantic lifestyle
  4. Honestly, it is for everyone believe it or not

So dear husbands, you can become a master in romance and here’s why you should.

  • First, you should know that “little things mean the world to women”. These little things have a supernatural effect on women that leads to many, amazing benefits in the home.
  • Secondly, you should know that catching your wife off guard every now and then adds sizzle, spark, and drama to marriage. Catching a woman off guard disarms her totally.
  • Thirdly, you should know that women desperately crave and yearn for romance in relationships. It is like oxygen to a woman’s soul and a lubricant to the joints of any relationship.

5 Little Things To Take Your Relationship To A Different Level

1. Leave a provocative voice mail message

This is a classic. Call your spouse when you know he or she is unavailable such that you have access to the voicemail to drop your ‘dangerous message’. In no small terms explain how naughty she has been and how you intend to curb her naughtiness. In ‘stern’ terms and using a deep voice for effect let her know she is in for a ‘treat’. The use of ‘I will do…” this and that — is highly recommended.

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You must back up your words with some serious actions because it is true that ‘actions’ speak louder than ‘words’.

2. Send a provocative message via text

This is similar to the first idea, and should be used as a counter-intuitive attacking measure. If you want to be romantic, you must have ‘game’. Your words must be unique and expressive.

Relax as you compose your text message and please make it situational. Don’t just copy a few lines from the internet or from a track, that’s lame. Make it about you and your words…

If there are pressing situations at home, perhaps when your wife has been complaining or stressed lately, then adapt accordingly. Listen, if she has been distracted lately, let her know your thoughts. If she has been acting silly, let her know you care. If she has been suspecting you of taking her for granted, let her know she is special and you will not in a million years take her for granted.

Polish up your vocabulary, refresh your ‘lines’.

The proof of your affection are buried within those words, make it count.

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3. Call her during the day just to tell her you to love her and that you have been thinking about her.

Absolutely, nothing melts the heart of a woman more than letting her know she is on your mind. This singular act alone validates her well being. This is where the element of surprise is very important and you must make sure this is done intentionally and honestly. When she knows her King is thinking about her, even the heavens know as she will float in the sky based on that thought alone.

When you call, resist the urge to say anything about yourself, the children, family issues, work issues and simply make this call all about her alone.

  • Let her know that you simply wanted her to know that you are calling to see how she is doing.
  • Ask her, how your day has been so far?
  • Ask her, is everything okay?
  • And then listen to her speak to you.

If you haven’t done this in a while, give the process time as she will attempt to verify your true intentions and not simply a means to an end.

Let her know her thoughts and persuade her otherwise as your intentions are truly for her well-being. If you play your cards right, my man… you will be thanking me later profusely.

4. Tape a note to the bathroom scale or mirror that says “Just Right”

Often times, men complain about their wives’ body without realizing how hurtful those remarks could be especially after a few children. That’s life…

The woman you married has changed and will continue to change as she ages. Lest you forget, you have changed as well. It shocks me during counseling when I hear men complain about their spouse’s body and unknowingly damage their wives’ psyche by saying the wrong, mean and hurtful words.

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This is not about getting your wives back to the gym…No, sir!

This is simply staying in the moment. This is about enjoying what and who you both are. This is about appreciation.

Get a note card and please not ruled paper, preferably something colorful (make an effort) and it must be in your own handwriting (do not type it out or send via email)

Write “Just right!” or go crazy, include her pet name, add today’s date and let her know she is simply “Just Right”.

Then tape it on the bathroom mirror.

5. Pray for her concerns

Most women worry and that’s sometimes because they have so many things on their minds considering all the roles played by them. So when she least expects it, pull her aside and lay your hand on her head or her chest and pray with her over her concerns.

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  • Make it genuine
  • It should come from your heart
  • Make it short, sweet and to the point

A woman knowing that her King is praying for her will make her safe. There is no better ‘human’ protection like a praying husband. I know she will thank you for being there and what joy she must feel when she knows you care about her worries and perhaps, more importantly, know what to do with that worry.

In conclusion, remember that the firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise. Your actions, words, and intentions must be deliberate. They must be properly executed as well for full effect.

I wish you and yours an amazingly rich and romantic relationship and do not forget the flowers, boxes of chocolates, and gift bags.

Featured photo credit: Wonderful Spring Blooms BY VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Dr. Flo

Executive Director, Hybrid Leadership Institute

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

More Tips to Help You Achieve Success

Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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