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5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

Romance is about the little things but honestly, it is actually pretty involving because it requires emotional awareness, good listening skills, sustained attention and planning capabilities. All in all, being romantic isn’t just about displaying a quick mental capability but is also about making and committing to a long lasting investment.

There are numerous reasons why some husbands cringe and panic when the subject of romance is broached. Some of which is due to the pressure of meeting expectations and not disappointing their spouses.

However, let me clarify who I had in mind when I wrote this article –

  1. This is for those who constantly hear how unromantic they are or have become
  2. This is for those who are tired of going with the usual gifts such as flowers, card, and perfumes
  3. This is for those who want to cultivate a steady and continuous romantic lifestyle
  4. Honestly, it is for everyone believe it or not

So dear husbands, you can become a master in romance and here’s why you should.

  • First, you should know that “little things mean the world to women”. These little things have a supernatural effect on women that leads to many, amazing benefits in the home.
  • Secondly, you should know that catching your wife off guard every now and then adds sizzle, spark, and drama to marriage. Catching a woman off guard disarms her totally.
  • Thirdly, you should know that women desperately crave and yearn for romance in relationships. It is like oxygen to a woman’s soul and a lubricant to the joints of any relationship.

5 Little Things To Take Your Relationship To A Different Level

1. Leave a provocative voice mail message

This is a classic. Call your spouse when you know he or she is unavailable such that you have access to the voicemail to drop your ‘dangerous message’. In no small terms explain how naughty she has been and how you intend to curb her naughtiness. In ‘stern’ terms and using a deep voice for effect let her know she is in for a ‘treat’. The use of ‘I will do…” this and that — is highly recommended.

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You must back up your words with some serious actions because it is true that ‘actions’ speak louder than ‘words’.

2. Send a provocative message via text

This is similar to the first idea, and should be used as a counter-intuitive attacking measure. If you want to be romantic, you must have ‘game’. Your words must be unique and expressive.

Relax as you compose your text message and please make it situational. Don’t just copy a few lines from the internet or from a track, that’s lame. Make it about you and your words…

If there are pressing situations at home, perhaps when your wife has been complaining or stressed lately, then adapt accordingly. Listen, if she has been distracted lately, let her know your thoughts. If she has been acting silly, let her know you care. If she has been suspecting you of taking her for granted, let her know she is special and you will not in a million years take her for granted.

Polish up your vocabulary, refresh your ‘lines’.

The proof of your affection are buried within those words, make it count.

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3. Call her during the day just to tell her you to love her and that you have been thinking about her.

Absolutely, nothing melts the heart of a woman more than letting her know she is on your mind. This singular act alone validates her well being. This is where the element of surprise is very important and you must make sure this is done intentionally and honestly. When she knows her King is thinking about her, even the heavens know as she will float in the sky based on that thought alone.

When you call, resist the urge to say anything about yourself, the children, family issues, work issues and simply make this call all about her alone.

  • Let her know that you simply wanted her to know that you are calling to see how she is doing.
  • Ask her, how your day has been so far?
  • Ask her, is everything okay?
  • And then listen to her speak to you.

If you haven’t done this in a while, give the process time as she will attempt to verify your true intentions and not simply a means to an end.

Let her know her thoughts and persuade her otherwise as your intentions are truly for her well-being. If you play your cards right, my man… you will be thanking me later profusely.

4. Tape a note to the bathroom scale or mirror that says “Just Right”

Often times, men complain about their wives’ body without realizing how hurtful those remarks could be especially after a few children. That’s life…

The woman you married has changed and will continue to change as she ages. Lest you forget, you have changed as well. It shocks me during counseling when I hear men complain about their spouse’s body and unknowingly damage their wives’ psyche by saying the wrong, mean and hurtful words.

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This is not about getting your wives back to the gym…No, sir!

This is simply staying in the moment. This is about enjoying what and who you both are. This is about appreciation.

Get a note card and please not ruled paper, preferably something colorful (make an effort) and it must be in your own handwriting (do not type it out or send via email)

Write “Just right!” or go crazy, include her pet name, add today’s date and let her know she is simply “Just Right”.

Then tape it on the bathroom mirror.

5. Pray for her concerns

Most women worry and that’s sometimes because they have so many things on their minds considering all the roles played by them. So when she least expects it, pull her aside and lay your hand on her head or her chest and pray with her over her concerns.

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  • Make it genuine
  • It should come from your heart
  • Make it short, sweet and to the point

A woman knowing that her King is praying for her will make her safe. There is no better ‘human’ protection like a praying husband. I know she will thank you for being there and what joy she must feel when she knows you care about her worries and perhaps, more importantly, know what to do with that worry.

In conclusion, remember that the firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise. Your actions, words, and intentions must be deliberate. They must be properly executed as well for full effect.

I wish you and yours an amazingly rich and romantic relationship and do not forget the flowers, boxes of chocolates, and gift bags.

Featured photo credit: Wonderful Spring Blooms BY VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Dr. Flo

Executive Director, Hybrid Leadership Institute

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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