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5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

5 Little Things To Do To Elevate Your Relationship

Romance is about the little things but honestly, it is actually pretty involving because it requires emotional awareness, good listening skills, sustained attention and planning capabilities. All in all, being romantic isn’t just about displaying a quick mental capability but is also about making and committing to a long lasting investment.

There are numerous reasons why some husbands cringe and panic when the subject of romance is broached. Some of which is due to the pressure of meeting expectations and not disappointing their spouses.

However, let me clarify who I had in mind when I wrote this article –

  1. This is for those who constantly hear how unromantic they are or have become
  2. This is for those who are tired of going with the usual gifts such as flowers, card, and perfumes
  3. This is for those who want to cultivate a steady and continuous romantic lifestyle
  4. Honestly, it is for everyone believe it or not

So dear husbands, you can become a master in romance and here’s why you should.

  • First, you should know that “little things mean the world to women”. These little things have a supernatural effect on women that leads to many, amazing benefits in the home.
  • Secondly, you should know that catching your wife off guard every now and then adds sizzle, spark, and drama to marriage. Catching a woman off guard disarms her totally.
  • Thirdly, you should know that women desperately crave and yearn for romance in relationships. It is like oxygen to a woman’s soul and a lubricant to the joints of any relationship.

5 Little Things To Take Your Relationship To A Different Level

1. Leave a provocative voice mail message

This is a classic. Call your spouse when you know he or she is unavailable such that you have access to the voicemail to drop your ‘dangerous message’. In no small terms explain how naughty she has been and how you intend to curb her naughtiness. In ‘stern’ terms and using a deep voice for effect let her know she is in for a ‘treat’. The use of ‘I will do…” this and that — is highly recommended.

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You must back up your words with some serious actions because it is true that ‘actions’ speak louder than ‘words’.

2. Send a provocative message via text

This is similar to the first idea, and should be used as a counter-intuitive attacking measure. If you want to be romantic, you must have ‘game’. Your words must be unique and expressive.

Relax as you compose your text message and please make it situational. Don’t just copy a few lines from the internet or from a track, that’s lame. Make it about you and your words…

If there are pressing situations at home, perhaps when your wife has been complaining or stressed lately, then adapt accordingly. Listen, if she has been distracted lately, let her know your thoughts. If she has been acting silly, let her know you care. If she has been suspecting you of taking her for granted, let her know she is special and you will not in a million years take her for granted.

Polish up your vocabulary, refresh your ‘lines’.

The proof of your affection are buried within those words, make it count.

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3. Call her during the day just to tell her you to love her and that you have been thinking about her.

Absolutely, nothing melts the heart of a woman more than letting her know she is on your mind. This singular act alone validates her well being. This is where the element of surprise is very important and you must make sure this is done intentionally and honestly. When she knows her King is thinking about her, even the heavens know as she will float in the sky based on that thought alone.

When you call, resist the urge to say anything about yourself, the children, family issues, work issues and simply make this call all about her alone.

  • Let her know that you simply wanted her to know that you are calling to see how she is doing.
  • Ask her, how your day has been so far?
  • Ask her, is everything okay?
  • And then listen to her speak to you.

If you haven’t done this in a while, give the process time as she will attempt to verify your true intentions and not simply a means to an end.

Let her know her thoughts and persuade her otherwise as your intentions are truly for her well-being. If you play your cards right, my man… you will be thanking me later profusely.

4. Tape a note to the bathroom scale or mirror that says “Just Right”

Often times, men complain about their wives’ body without realizing how hurtful those remarks could be especially after a few children. That’s life…

The woman you married has changed and will continue to change as she ages. Lest you forget, you have changed as well. It shocks me during counseling when I hear men complain about their spouse’s body and unknowingly damage their wives’ psyche by saying the wrong, mean and hurtful words.

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This is not about getting your wives back to the gym…No, sir!

This is simply staying in the moment. This is about enjoying what and who you both are. This is about appreciation.

Get a note card and please not ruled paper, preferably something colorful (make an effort) and it must be in your own handwriting (do not type it out or send via email)

Write “Just right!” or go crazy, include her pet name, add today’s date and let her know she is simply “Just Right”.

Then tape it on the bathroom mirror.

5. Pray for her concerns

Most women worry and that’s sometimes because they have so many things on their minds considering all the roles played by them. So when she least expects it, pull her aside and lay your hand on her head or her chest and pray with her over her concerns.

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  • Make it genuine
  • It should come from your heart
  • Make it short, sweet and to the point

A woman knowing that her King is praying for her will make her safe. There is no better ‘human’ protection like a praying husband. I know she will thank you for being there and what joy she must feel when she knows you care about her worries and perhaps, more importantly, know what to do with that worry.

In conclusion, remember that the firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise. Your actions, words, and intentions must be deliberate. They must be properly executed as well for full effect.

I wish you and yours an amazingly rich and romantic relationship and do not forget the flowers, boxes of chocolates, and gift bags.

Featured photo credit: Wonderful Spring Blooms BY VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Dr. Flo

Executive Director, Hybrid Leadership Institute

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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