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3 Reasons Single Parenting Has Its Advantages

3 Reasons Single Parenting Has Its Advantages

It’s an incredible honor to bring a life into the world; to nurture, love and educate a child and watch them grow. It’s an inexplicable love for a little life, there’s no denying that. It’s the greatest gift and most consuming feeling of love and protection and I feel incredibly blessed to have experienced it.  Let’s not sugarcoat it though, being a parent is hard work.  Kids should come with a manual.  I’ve had job interviews that were tougher for positions which were much easier to actually do.  Parenting can be relentless, tiring, expensive and damn hard work. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but what happens when your village is just one person – you.

As a single parent I understand and live the exhaustion.  I get it.  I understand there is no break. Ever. The need to duck out for a haircut or go to the dentist becomes an orchestrated nightmare. Yes, single parenting has its drawbacks.  You become a mum and a dad instantly.  Double the work.  Double the responsibility. Double the exhaustion.  It can be quite tough.  Whilst it has its definite challenges, I’ve come to realize that it absolutely has some amazing advantages, ones that I would never have expected.

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Here’s 3 reasons why being a single parent has some advantages.

1. The buck stops with you

When you are a single parent, all the decisions lie solely with you.  This can be a double edged sword at times, especially when it comes to discipline, but most of the time it’s a blessing.  Arguments with a partner regarding how to parent your child, and things like where and how you choose to educate them for example, are not an issue.  It’s liberating. There is an enormous amount of pride associated with knowing that you have raised a child on your own and made every decision in regards to each and every aspect of their life.  It’s an incredible achievement, a big responsibility and one to be extremely proud of.

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2. You grow as a person

Partnered or otherwise, being a parent is the most difficult job you will undertake.  Children are incredibly demanding and they take an enormous amount of energy to raise.  Solo parenting kicked my butt hard.  You learn fairly fast there is no-one  to fall back on financially, emotionally or to bounce parenting ideas or achievements off, therefore your level of responsibility forces you to grow fast, find answers, solutions and be resourceful. Your level of growth is swift and steep, and you become a better person and single parent because of it.

3. You become more organized

I wasn’t prepared for the enormity of this one.  Gone are the flaky days of getting home from work and realizing you don’t have milk in the fridge for breakfast tomorrow morning.  Situations like these can and will cause me to have a minor meltdown as a single parent.  Something as simple as forgetting the milk becomes a prolonged ordeal which involves putting the children into the car, driving to the shops and dragging them through a supermarket filled with strategically placed lollies or toys where tantrums or arguments are almost certain to ensue.  Through experience your organizational skills and ability to think 10 steps ahead and juggle become so finely tuned you feel like you could run the world.

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Being a parent is hard – period, being a single one presents quite a few more challenges.  Regardless or not of whether you are doing this alone or partnered, the rewards are returned to you ten fold. I’m not going to tell you that it is easy, but what I will tell you is it’s worth it, and as a single parent, you are doing an absolutely stellar job.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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