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3 Reasons Single Parenting Has Its Advantages

3 Reasons Single Parenting Has Its Advantages

It’s an incredible honor to bring a life into the world; to nurture, love and educate a child and watch them grow. It’s an inexplicable love for a little life, there’s no denying that. It’s the greatest gift and most consuming feeling of love and protection and I feel incredibly blessed to have experienced it.  Let’s not sugarcoat it though, being a parent is hard work.  Kids should come with a manual.  I’ve had job interviews that were tougher for positions which were much easier to actually do.  Parenting can be relentless, tiring, expensive and damn hard work. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but what happens when your village is just one person – you.

As a single parent I understand and live the exhaustion.  I get it.  I understand there is no break. Ever. The need to duck out for a haircut or go to the dentist becomes an orchestrated nightmare. Yes, single parenting has its drawbacks.  You become a mum and a dad instantly.  Double the work.  Double the responsibility. Double the exhaustion.  It can be quite tough.  Whilst it has its definite challenges, I’ve come to realize that it absolutely has some amazing advantages, ones that I would never have expected.

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Here’s 3 reasons why being a single parent has some advantages.

1. The buck stops with you

When you are a single parent, all the decisions lie solely with you.  This can be a double edged sword at times, especially when it comes to discipline, but most of the time it’s a blessing.  Arguments with a partner regarding how to parent your child, and things like where and how you choose to educate them for example, are not an issue.  It’s liberating. There is an enormous amount of pride associated with knowing that you have raised a child on your own and made every decision in regards to each and every aspect of their life.  It’s an incredible achievement, a big responsibility and one to be extremely proud of.

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2. You grow as a person

Partnered or otherwise, being a parent is the most difficult job you will undertake.  Children are incredibly demanding and they take an enormous amount of energy to raise.  Solo parenting kicked my butt hard.  You learn fairly fast there is no-one  to fall back on financially, emotionally or to bounce parenting ideas or achievements off, therefore your level of responsibility forces you to grow fast, find answers, solutions and be resourceful. Your level of growth is swift and steep, and you become a better person and single parent because of it.

3. You become more organized

I wasn’t prepared for the enormity of this one.  Gone are the flaky days of getting home from work and realizing you don’t have milk in the fridge for breakfast tomorrow morning.  Situations like these can and will cause me to have a minor meltdown as a single parent.  Something as simple as forgetting the milk becomes a prolonged ordeal which involves putting the children into the car, driving to the shops and dragging them through a supermarket filled with strategically placed lollies or toys where tantrums or arguments are almost certain to ensue.  Through experience your organizational skills and ability to think 10 steps ahead and juggle become so finely tuned you feel like you could run the world.

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Being a parent is hard – period, being a single one presents quite a few more challenges.  Regardless or not of whether you are doing this alone or partnered, the rewards are returned to you ten fold. I’m not going to tell you that it is easy, but what I will tell you is it’s worth it, and as a single parent, you are doing an absolutely stellar job.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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