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How To Have The Perfect California Road Trip

How To Have The Perfect California Road Trip

The California road trip. Every year, millions of tourists and native Californians pack up their bags, get in their cars, and head to the Pacific Coast Highway to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world.

Now, no one can see all there is to see in California in just a week or two. In fact, it may be best to stick to just one region of California. You can go to northern California with its wineries, nature, and San Francisco, or head to southern California with its beaches and Los Angeles.

However, if you are feeling ambitious and want to see as much of the state as you can, here are some tips for how to prepare and some critical spots where you must go to for the perfect road trip.

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What to do before you go: Get your car checked

It does not matter where you plan to go on your road trip — if your car is not ready for it, it is going to be a very short and unpleasant vacation. Consumer Reports has a valuable checklist of things you should inspect your car for before setting out, but always be vigilant. Even a small problem like misplaced alignment can become huge after several hours on the road.

Also, learn how to actually change a spare tire by yourself, because there are far too many people without this skill.

Where to start: San Diego

One important thing to decide for your California road trip is which roads you intend to use. If you want to see all of California quickly, then Interstate 5 would probably be your best bet. If you are interested in a more scenic route, then take the Pacific Coast Highway.

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While San Diego is not on the Pacific Coast Highway, it is still a good place to start and see California’s history before heading up one of the most beautiful roads in the world.

San Diego above all is known for its beaches, but if you want to take some time to visit the interior, then there is the Old Town, where you can spend a few hours learning about the early history of California.

What to do along the way: Stop

If you’re driving from one end of California to the other, you may be tempted to have a massive stretch where you just keep driving on and on until you just can’t go anymore. But health experts recommend that you should stop every 20 to 30 minutes. Sitting for too long can dull your senses, and in the worst case, can form blood clots in your legs.

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While you may not actually be able to stop this regularly on some stretches of your road trip, do at least try to stop every 2 hours and take a break. And any road trip will become easier if you can switch drivers.

Where to go: San Jose

Everyone wants to go to San Francisco, and it is a beautiful city. But it is an incredibly expensive city, and you may leave it looking at your empty wallet and wondering if it was really worth it.

If you really want to go to San Francisco, it may be better to stop by San Jose and then take a short jaunt to San Francisco from there. San Jose is the home of personal finance and banking in California, but it is also an interesting spot in its own right. If you’re interested in learning about its technology, then you can stop by the Tech Museum of Innovation. San Jose is also known for having some excellent food and shopping along Santana Row.

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Where to go to really see California: National Parks

No matter where you are in California, there is almost always some national park which can show off what a beautiful state this is. If you are in the southeast, there is the Mojave National Preserve and Death Valley National Park. A bit north from there is the famous Yosemite. And if you head all the way up north, Redwood National Park is near the Oregon border.

Whether you want to see redwood trees, desert, beaches, or rivers is up to you, and you can certainly go to more than one place. If you have a California road trip where you just stick to the cities and never really walk amongst nature, you won’t have much of a road trip.

These are but a few of the many attractions you can experience on your California road trip. You may also want to check out Los Angeles itself, the Napa wine county, and the famous beaches. But no matter where you choose to go, California is a state which offers something for everyone. And while you will almost certainly miss something on your first California road trip, that is all the more reason to have another one in the future.

Featured photo credit: Rian Castillo via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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