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How To Organize Your Move

How To Organize Your Move

One of the most annoying experiences in life is moving to a new residence. There is so much to plan and do, and it often seems like you are still trying to pack and clean on moving day. Many people think that all they have to do is pack up their stuff and they are ready to move. That is not the case. There are many other little details that must be taken care of throughout the process. It is a good idea to have a binder where you can keep all of the important information you will need before, during, and after the move. Here are the things that you should have in that binder.

Checklists

The more you have written down, the less likely you will be to forget anything. There are lots of printable checklists online that you can use. Reference these lists as you are preparing to move to make sure that you don’t forget something important. Your lists should include everything to be done before, during, and after the move.

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Utilities

Make sure that you keep track of all of your utilities, both at your current home and the home you are moving to. Make sure that all utility appointments are scheduled well in advance, and have a list of these appointments and contact information. Unfortunately, in many cases, you will have a rather long window of time when utility companies can show up, so make sure that you have something to keep yourself busy with while you are waiting for each appointment.

Loan Documents

You may need to access your loan documents at any time, so keep them in the binder so you have easy access to them. Once you are settled in your new home, find a permanent place to keep them, such as a filing cabinet or safe in your home office. Make sure that they are not easily accessible to others, but that you can get your hands on them quickly when you need them.

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Mover Information

It is important that you have the contact information for your moving company on hand, because you never know when you will need it. Also, make sure that you have the rental contract in the binder, as well as goods in transit insurance information.

Receipts

For anything that you buy in relation to your move and your new home, keep the receipts. Create a section in the binder that is just for these receipts. That way, if you need to return something that doesn’t work or fit, you will have the receipt and there will be no issues later on.

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Builder Information

If you are having a new home built, or are renovating the home you are moving into or out of, you need to make sure that you have all of the contact information, warranties, and other information about your builder on hand.

Inventory List

Print out a “moving inventory list” online and fill it out. This list should include every item in your home. It is a good idea to break the list down into categories, such as by room. That way, you have a list of what needs to be in each room after you move.

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Schedules

There is going to be so much going on during your move that you could end up forgetting about important appointments. Make a section in your binder for your appointments, your schedule, moving company schedules, etc. You can create a calendar as a Word document and then print it out. Then, all you have to do is write the appointments in the appropriate blocks.

Featured photo credit: Mary Whitney via pexels.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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