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7 Relationship Secrets That Work

7 Relationship Secrets That Work

We all wish we knew the secrets behind strong, lasting relationships. Whether we’re hurting after a break up or fuming over an argument, we often struggle to figure out what’s truly missing in our romantic lives. That’s the beauty of it though: The insights are usually hidden in the struggle.

If this resonates with you, take a step back, refocus, and check out these 7 relationship secrets that actually work.

1. You Both Maintain Your Own Lives

Problems often occur in relationships when one or both partners forget about their own lives in order to fit into each other’s. As a matter of fact, healthy relationships develop when couples maintain their individuality and give each other plenty of personal space.

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In a relationship, it’s important to retain all of your own hobbies, interests, friends, and passions. It’s equally as crucial to support your partner on their own path. This way, you learn and grow together while nurturing each other’s unique qualities.

2. You Communicate Transparently

Miscommunication is a key factor in troubled relationships, romantic or otherwise. Often, we say what we think people want to hear, or are afraid of telling the truth. However, there’s just no point in hiding your inner self when you are in a relationship.

Imagine going to bed with your makeup on so that your new partner doesn’t see your sleepy face in the morning. Eventually, they will… and they’ll likely love you for it. Honest communication means being brave enough to say exactly what you feel. It also means accepting your partner’s honesty, so that the lines of communication remain transparent.

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3. You Inspire Each Other to Be Better

When you first met someone and fell in love with them, chances are they filled you with inspiration. This mutual feeling is motivating, and you should use it to propel each other towards your goals. Things tend to go wrong when jealousy forces you to try to control or hold each other back.

In relationships that work, the desire to motivate each other increases as time goes on, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. You greet each new challenge together, with the intention of helping each other become better in all things.

4. You Appreciate the Little Things About Each Other

Having future goals is fantastic, but life’s not all about achievement. We tend to waste a lot of energy wishing we’d hit certain milestones already, to the detriment of things going on right in front of our noses. How many of your arguments start with this phrase: “But when are we going too… buy a house, have a baby, get married, make a lot of money?” The list goes on.

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In relationships that work, the little things take center stage. The walks on the beach, the cheeky smiles, the rainy weekends in bed, the special looks reserved for each other. You don’t need to define the relationship by fitting it neatly into a socially-constructed box. Those big goals pale in comparison to appreciating the beauty of the present moment together.

5. You Embrace Each Other’s Flaws

While many of us love to take on projects, you’re heading towards the danger zone if that project is your partner. By embracing each other’s flaws, we can still help our partner grow without falling into the dreadful trap of thinking that we’ll love them if only they’d change.

It’s inevitable that everyone will change. It’s human nature as we progress through life. But even when we change for the better, a new challenge is often awaiting us. This results in more growth and, yes, you guessed it, more flaws. If you can’t love the one you’re with right now because you don’t accept them as they are, chances are you never will.

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6. You Remain Curious About Each Other

Isn’t it true that no matter what we do, eventually we get used to doing it? This leads us towards fostering new desires, so that life always remains fresh and fulfilling. Relationships are no different. Once the excitement wears off, it’s easy to look at each other in the dull light of boredom… and want something new.

You can give each other something new by remaining curious. Neither partner is ever static, as we’re all constantly changing. This ensures we never know absolutely everything about another person. Trying new things together, going on adventures, and stirring up the routine fans the flames of curiosity.

7. You Love to Be Spontaneous Together

And that brings us to the most important secret: Spontaneity. If you always do the same thing on Sunday, switch the television on to eat dinner each night, and expect each other to slot in with a perfect schedule, you effectively eradicate it from your relationship.

When this happens, the stagnant nature of routine seeps into your partnership and buries it under a pile of dirty laundry. Healthy relationships combine the everyday aspects of life with a big dose of spontaneous fun – and both partners relish in keeping it alive.

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Nicole Leigh West

Travel and Lifestyle Writer, Choreographer, Reiki Practitioner

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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