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25 Reasons Why It Is Great to Be Single (While Everyone Around is in a Relationship)

25 Reasons Why It Is Great to Be Single (While Everyone Around is in a Relationship)

Whoever said being single sucks didn’t know how to be single. Being single is great, which is why a majority of the U.S. population currently is.

Being in a relationship can be comforting and attractive and it can teach you a lot about love. But it can also limit you. Being single, on the other hand, opens up a whole world of freedom you never even knew existed. Stop worrying that you are still single, and instead embrace the positive sides of your life situation.

Here are 25 reasons being single rocks when all your friends are tied down.

1. You can flirt all you want.

If you practice enough, flirting can become one of your most treasured pastimes.

2. Going out has endless possibilities.

We’ve all had that friend who got into a relationship and was never seen again.

Going out isn’t as much fun when you’re committed. When you’re single, going out is a whole different story! And it usually involves a happy ending.

3. The only person you have to check in with is your mother.

And even my mother doesn’t care as much about what I’m doing as some of my ex-girlfriends. 

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4. You can still enjoy the wonders of dating apps.

One word: TINDER.

5. You never have to clear your browsing history.

Which gives you time for more important things, like binge watching Game of Thrones.

6. You can take up the whole bed any night of the week.

What I miss most when I’m in a relationship are my bed sheets.

Let’s face it, partners hog the bed and when you call them out for it they always have some lame excuse like, “I was trying to snuggle.” I don’t want to snuggle, woman! I want my bed back.

7. You can’t argue with a boyfriend/girlfriend when you don’t have one.

Isn’t it just the best feeling when you’re out having a grand old time, drinking beer, hitting on anything that walks, and you look over to see a couple fighting? That’s sweet success, my single friends.

8. You can watch Beyonce’s visual album Lemonade without worrying whether you, yourself, are being cheated on.

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all seen Beyonce’s newest claim to fame. We’ve seen it, we’ve talked about it, we’ve probably even tweeted about it. The final consensus seems to be that nobody in a relationship feels safe. If the Queen Bee is being cheated on, I’m screwed!

9. You don’t have to plan a wedding.

Weddings are only awesome when all you did was show up. I have been to my fair share of weddings, and I’m convinced that the person who has the most fun is never the bride, nor the groom.

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It’s the single guests who are mingling with a bunch of people they’ve never met before (and will probably never see again) and ordering drinks from an open bar. It’s no wonder that one in four Millennials have taken marriage off the table.

10. If you’re not thinking about marriage, you certainly don’t have to worry about divorce.

Enough said.

11. You can be anyone you want on any given day.

When you’re in a relationship, you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You’ll be busted immediately.

12. You don’t have to wonder if you’re with the right person.

If you’re anything like me, every person you’ve ever dated has become a question of your own identity.

And if you’re anything like me, your answer to a friend asking whether he’s with the right girl is always, “If you have to ask, dump her.”

13. You never have to do anything you don’t feel like doing.

This includes going shopping, seeing a movie with Liam Hemsworth in it, or having sex with the same person over and over.

14. You don’t have to smell someone else’s farts.

Unless you have friends like mine. Let me rephrase this. You don’t have to smell someone else’s farts and feel obligated to sleep with them later.

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15. You don’t have to share your meals.

Yes, I am going to eat all of my fries. Thank you very much.

16. You don’t have to hangout with your girlfriend or boyfriend’s annoying friends.

You only have to hang out with your own friends’ annoying girlfriends or boyfriends. I’ll take this option any day.

17. You can watch whatever you want after work.

No more Real Housewives of whatever city. No more sports game you don’t care about. Score!

18. You know you haven’t settled.

What’s worse than being alone? Settling for someone horrible because you don’t want to be alone.

19. You have time to work on yourself.

The periods of my life in which I have grown and accomplished the most on a personal level are the same periods of time that I was single. Coincidence? I think not.

I know people in dead-end, long-term relationships that have completely lost their drive and forgotten their passions. Being single gives you the time necessary to pursue your own dreams.

20. You can be completely selfish.

While all your friends complain about how they have to do this or that for their significant others, you can do whatever you want.

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21. You can experiment.

Sexually or scientifically, you decide.

22. You can travel.

If you want to get the experience of traveling by yourself, it’s better when you’re single. You don’t have to call your girlfriend to tell her where you’re going next month. You don’t have to worry about your boyfriend being offended that you didn’t invite him, or asking what you’re doing every step of the trip.

23. You save money.

Dating is expensive. Holidays are expensive. Love has a price tag.

24. Life is more adventurous.

Period.

25. You still have the excitement of finding the one.

Sure, everyone around you has already found the one, or at least they think they have. But the search is not over for you, and that’s thrilling.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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