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25 Reasons Why It Is Great to Be Single (While Everyone Around is in a Relationship)

25 Reasons Why It Is Great to Be Single (While Everyone Around is in a Relationship)

Whoever said being single sucks didn’t know how to be single. Being single is great, which is why a majority of the U.S. population currently is.

Being in a relationship can be comforting and attractive and it can teach you a lot about love. But it can also limit you. Being single, on the other hand, opens up a whole world of freedom you never even knew existed. Stop worrying that you are still single, and instead embrace the positive sides of your life situation.

Here are 25 reasons being single rocks when all your friends are tied down.

1. You can flirt all you want.

If you practice enough, flirting can become one of your most treasured pastimes.

2. Going out has endless possibilities.

We’ve all had that friend who got into a relationship and was never seen again.

Going out isn’t as much fun when you’re committed. When you’re single, going out is a whole different story! And it usually involves a happy ending.

3. The only person you have to check in with is your mother.

And even my mother doesn’t care as much about what I’m doing as some of my ex-girlfriends. 

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4. You can still enjoy the wonders of dating apps.

One word: TINDER.

5. You never have to clear your browsing history.

Which gives you time for more important things, like binge watching Game of Thrones.

6. You can take up the whole bed any night of the week.

What I miss most when I’m in a relationship are my bed sheets.

Let’s face it, partners hog the bed and when you call them out for it they always have some lame excuse like, “I was trying to snuggle.” I don’t want to snuggle, woman! I want my bed back.

7. You can’t argue with a boyfriend/girlfriend when you don’t have one.

Isn’t it just the best feeling when you’re out having a grand old time, drinking beer, hitting on anything that walks, and you look over to see a couple fighting? That’s sweet success, my single friends.

8. You can watch Beyonce’s visual album Lemonade without worrying whether you, yourself, are being cheated on.

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all seen Beyonce’s newest claim to fame. We’ve seen it, we’ve talked about it, we’ve probably even tweeted about it. The final consensus seems to be that nobody in a relationship feels safe. If the Queen Bee is being cheated on, I’m screwed!

9. You don’t have to plan a wedding.

Weddings are only awesome when all you did was show up. I have been to my fair share of weddings, and I’m convinced that the person who has the most fun is never the bride, nor the groom.

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It’s the single guests who are mingling with a bunch of people they’ve never met before (and will probably never see again) and ordering drinks from an open bar. It’s no wonder that one in four Millennials have taken marriage off the table.

10. If you’re not thinking about marriage, you certainly don’t have to worry about divorce.

Enough said.

11. You can be anyone you want on any given day.

When you’re in a relationship, you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You’ll be busted immediately.

12. You don’t have to wonder if you’re with the right person.

If you’re anything like me, every person you’ve ever dated has become a question of your own identity.

And if you’re anything like me, your answer to a friend asking whether he’s with the right girl is always, “If you have to ask, dump her.”

13. You never have to do anything you don’t feel like doing.

This includes going shopping, seeing a movie with Liam Hemsworth in it, or having sex with the same person over and over.

14. You don’t have to smell someone else’s farts.

Unless you have friends like mine. Let me rephrase this. You don’t have to smell someone else’s farts and feel obligated to sleep with them later.

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15. You don’t have to share your meals.

Yes, I am going to eat all of my fries. Thank you very much.

16. You don’t have to hangout with your girlfriend or boyfriend’s annoying friends.

You only have to hang out with your own friends’ annoying girlfriends or boyfriends. I’ll take this option any day.

17. You can watch whatever you want after work.

No more Real Housewives of whatever city. No more sports game you don’t care about. Score!

18. You know you haven’t settled.

What’s worse than being alone? Settling for someone horrible because you don’t want to be alone.

19. You have time to work on yourself.

The periods of my life in which I have grown and accomplished the most on a personal level are the same periods of time that I was single. Coincidence? I think not.

I know people in dead-end, long-term relationships that have completely lost their drive and forgotten their passions. Being single gives you the time necessary to pursue your own dreams.

20. You can be completely selfish.

While all your friends complain about how they have to do this or that for their significant others, you can do whatever you want.

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21. You can experiment.

Sexually or scientifically, you decide.

22. You can travel.

If you want to get the experience of traveling by yourself, it’s better when you’re single. You don’t have to call your girlfriend to tell her where you’re going next month. You don’t have to worry about your boyfriend being offended that you didn’t invite him, or asking what you’re doing every step of the trip.

23. You save money.

Dating is expensive. Holidays are expensive. Love has a price tag.

24. Life is more adventurous.

Period.

25. You still have the excitement of finding the one.

Sure, everyone around you has already found the one, or at least they think they have. But the search is not over for you, and that’s thrilling.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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