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9 Tips for Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave

9 Tips for Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave

If you’re like many new moms preparing to go back to work, you might find yourself exhausted, overwhelmed and facing a lot of uncertainty. Obviously child care is on the top of the list, and it’s critical for getting back to work. But what else should you be thinking about? Look no further than this list to set you up for success as you transition back into work.

1. Do a dry run…or two or three

If you go the nanny route, have them come to your house for a few trial runs and leave your house while they are there. The first time you leave your child will likely be emotional, so it’s best if this doesn’t also coincide with the equally emotional first day back in the office. Practice (and time) your morning routine, so you know how long you need on a typical morning. By having a few trial runs with your nanny you can also see what else they might be able to help with, like the laundry, preparing meals or even some light housekeeping.

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2. Make time for self-care

Remember to put your oxygen mask on first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will be in no shape to take care of others or handle your workload. Incorporate acts of self care into your schedule before you go back to work to get into the habit of taking care of yourself. If you’re running low on ideas for self-care, check out the 20+ recommendations in this short video: Burnout Prevention Guide.

3. Practice mindfulness

Realize that it is going to be emotional and maybe even painful the first time you leave your little one. Practice mindfulness by embracing those feelings and feeling them fully without judgment. And then remember these powerful feelings are just signs of how much you love your little one. If you need help starting a mindfulness practice but are short on time (what new mom isn’t?!), try this Meditation Challenge that teaches you to meditate in only five minutes per day.

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4. Determine (or refresh!) your values

When we’re facing transitions, the uncertainty can often be overwhelming and we forget why we do the things we do. Whenever we’re at a crossroads, it can be helpful to examine our values so we can connect what we do with why we’re doing it. If you want help determining your values, this exercise will help you gain clarity on what’s most important to you–and in less than 10 minutes. If you’re feeling frustrated and notice your inner critic getting loud, remember that working mom is not synonymous with “bad mom” and that you can be both a wonderful mother and a working mom.

5. Get support and ask for what you need

Don’t be afraid to ask for help and ask other moms how they do it. Many of the overachieving women that I coach find it tremendously hard to ask for help and have created a strong identity around being self-sufficient. Learning to soften the need to “do it all” will help you transition back into work, and make your life easier. I often tell my coaching clients to remember that it’s not weakness to ask for help, it’s a sign of strength. When you’re struggling, it’s helpful to remember how good it feels to help someone else, and you can share that positive energy by allowing others to support you.

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6. Practicing saying no…without the guilt

Ahh, the art of saying no. I was just speaking at the Watermark Conference for Women, and being able to say an effective no was brought up multiple times as a critical skill for working moms. If you have trouble saying no, it’s helpful to start practicing with saying no to small things before tackling the big stuff. You will want to be firm with your no, because otherwise you’ll end up drawing out the process and wasting additional time and energy. It can often feel more natural to say no with an appreciation sandwich (example: I appreciate you reaching out and getting in touch, but I’m unable to help with the bake sale at school next month. Thank you for leading the charge–I appreciate your dedication to the school!) so you are both firm and compassionate. Check out this video for more tips on how to say no without feeling guilty.

7. Prioritize sleep

I can’t help but include this tip even though it probably seems both obvious and impossible at the same time. So here it goes: even if it means letting your partner do a night feeding, or having dirty dishes in the sink, or letting the bed go unmade, do whatever you can to protect your sleep. I highly recommend investing in an eye mask and earplugs so that when you do sleep, you get the highest quality sleep possible. One of the biggest disruptors (besides night feedings!) to our sleep are our phones. The extra time spent checking Facebook and then Instagram and then rechecking Facebook before bed not only pushes back our bedtime, but staring at a screen also disrupts the production of melatonin and messes with our sleep cycles. Confession: I’m powerless over my phone, so in order to actually put this tip into practice I had to buy an alarm clock and move my phone and charger into the kitchen so it wouldn’t tempt me. Consider making a similar adjustment if you’re finding it difficult to turn off the phone at night.

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8. Plan and delegate

Setting clear expectations with your partner about responsibilities at home is important in any marriage, but especially a marriage with children. Can’t seem to convince your husband to do more around the house? Try sending him this study that shows that couples have more sex when household chores are shared. Another power tip for working moms is to do meal planning every Sunday night. This will help save yourself the hassle of figuring out what you’re going to have for dinner while your stomach grumbles.

9. Pay it forward

If there isn’t a moms group at your company, start one. Talk to HR about how they can improve their policies and how they can better reintegrate moms post-maternity leave. If the HR team is hesitant, you can send them this study that shows that having great parental leave policies is a key way to attract and retain top talent.

The transition back to work after having a baby can be a rocky one, but hopefully with these tips in hand you will be better prepared for what lies ahead.

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Last Updated on July 2, 2020

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe. But it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that’s when it becomes a source of concern, hurt, or sorrow.

Life problems, depending on their magnitude, can be clogs in the wheel of progress, and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don’t learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives as suggested in Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last.

In this article, I have identified some common areas where you will most likely face problems as you make progress towards reaching your full life potential. I have also suggested practical approaches in handling, managing, and solving such problems.

1. Financial Crisis

We live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis, it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years.

It could be that you lost your job or a major investment, got slammed with a lawsuit that threatens your savings, or have your livelihood be affected by a major disaster. So what do you do when you are in a financial mess?

Solution

To overcome a financial crisis, you will have to come to terms with the crisis. Acknowledge and accept the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right.

The next thing to do is to identify the cause of the crisis. If it’s due to a job loss, then your effort should be directed at getting a new job. If it is having multiple debts, look for ways to consolidate your debt so that your monthly debt repayment can be consolidated into one instead of being burdened with multiple payments.

You can also sell some of your assets to raise money to save the situation, or look for a better job if you are earning less at your current job. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends if you need to.

2. Health Crisis

Another major problem that might come up in your life is a health crisis. This is not far-fetched because our body systems work round-the-clock, even when we are sleeping. As a result of this, and if you don’t maintain routine health habits, health deterioration might begin to set in. Things might even get serious if you don’t attend to it early.

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Solution

When you are facing a major health crisis, the first thing to do is to consider lifestyle changes. This includes cutting down on junks, eating healthy diets, exercising, breathing fresh air, taking some sun, etc.

Apart from the lifestyle changes, you have to seek quality medical help and make sure you get different opinions about the state of your health so you can get the best affordable care.

3. Relationship, Marriage, and Family

There may not be anything as sweet as love and family life, but it can also be the source of pain for some. Human imperfections in a relationship can cause a major crisis in life. This has been a stumbling block to many on their path to fulfillment.

Solution

The best thing to do is to prevent relationship problems from happening, but if they do happen, you need to face reality and begin to take steps towards addressing them. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open as this can help in strengthening your struggling relationship. Talk about the challenges with your partner and look for common grounds.

You can also arrange to see a counselor together or read books that address the specific challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to end a relationship and that’s only when you have exhausted all other options.

4. Workplace

The workplace is supposed to be a place where we dutifully render the services for which we’ve been hired.

However, it is not impossible to face animosity at work—dealing with toxic people who would rather not see any good in what you do. It might be caused by differences in background, attitudes, and unhealthy competition that can result in personal conflicts. This can create undue stress and reduce productivity.

Solution

Be as professional as possible when dealing with toxic people. Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation.

You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself.

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5. Career Pressure

In your quest to become more successful, you will likely encounter work-related pressure. Such can come when trying to stabilize your career or climb the career ladder. It can also come as a result of overworking and having no life. Career pressure is one of the most common life problems.

Sometimes, it may be that the promotion you are working hard to get is not coming or positions you are qualified for are being offered to others. The pressure can get more intense when you find that most of your colleagues are moving ahead of you.

Solution

Check to find if you have personal or attitudinal problems. Some attitudinal problems can put you at a disadvantaged end. It may be poor communication, poor personal grooming, or poor relationship and networking skills. If it is any of these problems, then work on improving yourself in those areas.

You can also observe your colleagues who are succeeding and take note of what they are doing differently.

6. Unfair Treatment

We are in a world where some people often think they have some privileges over others and may want to exercise this thinking and treat others unfairly. If you find yourself in an environment where you are being oppressed or treated badly because of your race, gender, or current status, this can make you feel really bad and can also affect your psyche and productivity.

Solution

There is the temptation to decry your treatment, defend yourself, and demand a change immediately, but you should really wait for the right opportunity to do that.

When the time is right, reach out directly to the person or authority involved, and make it private. Meanwhile, you should be factual about the instances of your unfair treatments. Don’t just say it that you are being treated badly; give several undeniable instances.

Once you’ve made your grievances known politely, keep being you. If things don’t change, you can cocoon yourself in that environment. If you have an option to leave, you can do so as well.

7. Emptiness and Boredom

When you are in a rut, everything becomes normal, dull, unproductive, and yet difficult to change. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom. This may not seem like a serious life problem, but it can have a great impact on your life.

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Solution

To overcome boredom and emptiness, break out of your routines, and deliberately create a new experience for yourself. If you can’t leave your job to find a new one, start doing other things that reflect your true passion. Sometimes, the things that give us the needed drive in life are not our day jobs.

8. Confusion

Confusion is described as a change in mental status in which a person is not able to think with their usual level of clarity.[1]. It is inherent in forgetfulness and lack of concentration.

It can be caused by different things including medical and environmental factors. It can also be due to the experience of a loss, a heartbreak, or abuse.

Solution

Don’t allow the situation to deteriorate into something more serious. Try to snap out of whatever experiences you have had that is causing confusion. Seek medical help if necessary or talk to a psychologist.

9. Friendship Problems

We need friends in our lives to rob minds and hang out together and even help us when we run into trouble. But many people have found themselves in serious trouble as a result of the company of friends they keep. They’ve experienced jealousy, backstabbing, and betrayal of trust. Some friends have even used the information freely provided in times of friendship to betray trust.

Solution

Don’t open up on everything to friends. Keep some information only to yourself. If you notice that a friend is working against you, confront them with the truth. Limit your interaction with them or get rid of such toxic friends completely.

10. Haunting Past

We all have pasts, and we might have done some crazy stuff in the past before we begin to live a more civilized and decent life. But sometimes, the past comes back haunting. It’s even worse when life problems of the past haunt you back and become problems of the present.

It may be that what you have done is now striking your conscience, keeping you awake at night. Or someone who knows about it is trying to use it against you, and it is standing in the way of your progress.

Solution

Be true to yourself and forgive yourself. If it is an issue with another person, you can reach out to the person to settle with them. If it is a secret that is now being leaked out, own up to it, take responsibility, and move on.

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11. Safety and Security

You may find yourself in an environment where there have been unexplained murder, gun violence, police brutality, insurgencies, and other life-threatening situations. This can make you feel like you might be the next victim. What should you do in this situation?

Solution

Ensure that you watch where you go and keep your home secure. You can also get involved in a neighborhood community watch to collectively find solutions to the threat. If the situation persists, you can move to a more secure location.

12. Failure

Failure can bring disappointment and can also slow the pace of progress. But failure is also part of life, and we have to learn to deal with it. But what do you do when an experience of failure weighs you down?

Solution

You can read a book or biography to get inspired by other people’s success stories.

13. Grief

No one loves to grief but we can’t totally shield ourselves from it. The loss of a loved one is painful and, if not properly handled, can lead to an emotional breakdown.

Solution

Take your time to express emotions. You can also pen an emotional tribute to the individual. Writing can help us bring out the feelings that cannot be expressed otherwise, and it helps us breathe a sigh of relief.

You can also cope with your grief by helping them to realize some of their unfulfilled dreams or do something in their honor. Lastly, while you think about your loss, you will still have to move on, accepting the fact that life is transient.

The Bottom Line

Problems are what make life worth living. They help us adapt to become tougher as we adapt to different situations. Always remember that whatever problem you are facing has a solution or, at least, a manageable approach.

Therefore, never allow your challenges to stop you from fulfilling your true potentials in life.

More Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Featured photo credit: Danka & Peter via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medicinet: Confusion: Symptoms & Signs

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