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3 Things Extroverted Introverts Wish People Knew

3 Things Extroverted Introverts Wish People Knew

Let’s have a talk about extroverted introverts. We exist.

Would you rather have a night out on the town or cuddle in bed and read a book?

Depends on who I am with and it depends on the book. Can’t I do both if I am with a great group of people and it is a really good book?

When in a large crowd, do you feel drained or energized?

It really depends on the day.

I know most personality tests and quizzes assume that you are either introverted or extroverted. However, if you are like me, you may have a place in between both categories. It really just depends on the day, how you woke up or how your week has been going.

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Some call us ambiverts, fake extroverts, pretend extroverts and extroverted introverts. Personally, I like extroverted introverts. It sounds cool. Regardless of how we are described, we do exist and here are three things we wish people would understand:

1. Our thoughts are running a million miles a minute. We are almost drowning in them

At times, we ask that you leave us alone with our thoughts. We are not trying to be rude but we can’t help but ignore people some days. There are days where we keep to ourselves because we could not be bothered to juggle socializing and keeping up with our own thoughts. Other days, we are too talkative because we have so many thoughts to share. It is almost like word vomit, we can’t stop and we are sorry. So, take us as we are. We are living in our thoughts and we don’t want to move out, ever.

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2. Since this goes hand in hand with the aforementioned, we do fall off the face of the earth.

We come back to Earth… eventually. Though we may be the life of the party, we like our alone time. Sometimes the silence is better. Especially after a long day of music, people talking, phones ringing and all the smiling, we often do like our alone time where we can just have a blank face and the sweet sound of… nothing. This can last sometimes for hours so don’t take it personally. Don’t think of it as a warning sign and don’t ask us what is wrong. Think of it as us recharging so we can be our charming, smiling, attached to our phones, people-loving selves again.

3. Small Talk

We can do it, we can talk about rain and sun. We can talk about the traffic, prices of gas or upcoming local events. In fact, we are fantastic at it. We know it pleases the general public and we know that is what most people really want from us anyways. We are the talkative waitress, barista or customer service representative. It bothers us immensely when the conversation is not genuine but life goes on. We go back home to the ones we can have deep conversations with and come back the next day to start all over with small talk with strangers.

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All in all, we wish that people would stop putting us in one category or the other. We don’t care if there aren’t any Facebook Quizzes geared towards our category (though, that’d be nice) or if we fit perfectly into the normal two. We don’t care much about how much the sun is shining this week or how awful the traffic was on your way to us (unless you have a really dramatic story) We care if we get our much needed silence to recharge, our meaningful conversations, our family not placing out a police report if we fall off the face of the earth and our friends dealing with our word vomit.

Featured photo credit: Group Of People Socialising In Front Of Eifel Tower At Night by Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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