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3 Things Extroverted Introverts Wish People Knew

3 Things Extroverted Introverts Wish People Knew

Let’s have a talk about extroverted introverts. We exist.

Would you rather have a night out on the town or cuddle in bed and read a book?

Depends on who I am with and it depends on the book. Can’t I do both if I am with a great group of people and it is a really good book?

When in a large crowd, do you feel drained or energized?

It really depends on the day.

I know most personality tests and quizzes assume that you are either introverted or extroverted. However, if you are like me, you may have a place in between both categories. It really just depends on the day, how you woke up or how your week has been going.

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Some call us ambiverts, fake extroverts, pretend extroverts and extroverted introverts. Personally, I like extroverted introverts. It sounds cool. Regardless of how we are described, we do exist and here are three things we wish people would understand:

1. Our thoughts are running a million miles a minute. We are almost drowning in them

At times, we ask that you leave us alone with our thoughts. We are not trying to be rude but we can’t help but ignore people some days. There are days where we keep to ourselves because we could not be bothered to juggle socializing and keeping up with our own thoughts. Other days, we are too talkative because we have so many thoughts to share. It is almost like word vomit, we can’t stop and we are sorry. So, take us as we are. We are living in our thoughts and we don’t want to move out, ever.

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2. Since this goes hand in hand with the aforementioned, we do fall off the face of the earth.

We come back to Earth… eventually. Though we may be the life of the party, we like our alone time. Sometimes the silence is better. Especially after a long day of music, people talking, phones ringing and all the smiling, we often do like our alone time where we can just have a blank face and the sweet sound of… nothing. This can last sometimes for hours so don’t take it personally. Don’t think of it as a warning sign and don’t ask us what is wrong. Think of it as us recharging so we can be our charming, smiling, attached to our phones, people-loving selves again.

3. Small Talk

We can do it, we can talk about rain and sun. We can talk about the traffic, prices of gas or upcoming local events. In fact, we are fantastic at it. We know it pleases the general public and we know that is what most people really want from us anyways. We are the talkative waitress, barista or customer service representative. It bothers us immensely when the conversation is not genuine but life goes on. We go back home to the ones we can have deep conversations with and come back the next day to start all over with small talk with strangers.

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All in all, we wish that people would stop putting us in one category or the other. We don’t care if there aren’t any Facebook Quizzes geared towards our category (though, that’d be nice) or if we fit perfectly into the normal two. We don’t care much about how much the sun is shining this week or how awful the traffic was on your way to us (unless you have a really dramatic story) We care if we get our much needed silence to recharge, our meaningful conversations, our family not placing out a police report if we fall off the face of the earth and our friends dealing with our word vomit.

Featured photo credit: Group Of People Socialising In Front Of Eifel Tower At Night by Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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