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Survival Tips: How To Get Over A Break Up

Survival Tips: How To Get Over A Break Up

It happens to most of us at some point or another – a valued relationship ends. Whether you’ve been seeing it coming for a while or it happens to you of the blue, it can be utterly devastating. However common this experience is, it still hits hard.

Luckily, there are tried and tested strategies through which you can move on quickly and start to heal. The tips below will enable you to see your previous relationship in a new light, and help you understand what went wrong. This sets you up for healthier relationships in the future, combined with a greater degree of self-awareness. Adhere to the following steps to help you get over a break up:

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1. Give Yourself Time To Get Over A Break up

The cliche ‘time heals all wounds’ is a popular saying for a reason – it’s true. Whilst there are no hard and fast rules as to how long it takes an average person to get over a relationship, you can reasonably expect it to take at least a few months to fully get over a long-term relationship. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, provided you are seeing progress of some kind, you are moving in the right direction.

2. Take Care Of The Basics

In the aftermath of a break up, it can be easy to let eating, sleeping and work duties slide. It’s tempting to just lie in bed, wallowing in self-pity and wondering what went wrong. This, however, will not help you get over a break up. Resist this urge!

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Make a promise to yourself that you will wash, dress and make yourself eat at least one proper meal every day. It’s normal to gain or lose a bit of weight following emotional turmoil, but any significant changes need to be reported to your doctor or therapist.

3. Reach Out To Other People Who Have Been There

You probably have friends or relatives who have survived relationship breakdown and perhaps even emerged stronger for it. Find these people and ask them questions about their experiences. It can feel very comforting to know that other people have also been through immense emotions similar to those you are facing.

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4. Tackle Negative Thoughts Head-On

After losing someone you love, you may find yourself indulging in negative and unhelpful thoughts that will not set you up for positive relationships in the future. This is common, especially if you had invested a lot in the relationship. Thoughts include, ‘No-one will ever love me again,’ and ‘I’ll never be happy again.’ When you look at these thoughts carefully, you will realize that they are not rational. Be aware of them, honor them, but promise yourself not to be drawn into dwelling on them.

5. Keep Relentlessly Busy

Is your schedule looking a little bare? If you have been engrossed in a relationship that has been demanding a lot of your attention for some months or years, you might have been neglecting your social life or hobbies. Now is the perfect time to reclaim yourself and start sorting a new life out for yourself! Start by getting back in touch with old friends or by picking up interests or hobbies that may have fallen by the wayside during your relationship.

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6. Start Keeping A Journal

Research has shown that expressive writing, in which you keep track of your feelings and describe a difficult experience, works to reduce feelings of stress and depression. Start a notebook in which you record your innermost thoughts and feelings relating to the breakup. Over time, you will be able to see the progress you have made. It can be encouraging to realize that you can approach a previously unbearable situation with a new degree of emotional maturity.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash/Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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