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Survival Tips: How To Get Over A Break Up

Survival Tips: How To Get Over A Break Up

It happens to most of us at some point or another – a valued relationship ends. Whether you’ve been seeing it coming for a while or it happens to you of the blue, it can be utterly devastating. However common this experience is, it still hits hard.

Luckily, there are tried and tested strategies through which you can move on quickly and start to heal. The tips below will enable you to see your previous relationship in a new light, and help you understand what went wrong. This sets you up for healthier relationships in the future, combined with a greater degree of self-awareness. Adhere to the following steps to help you get over a break up:

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1. Give Yourself Time To Get Over A Break up

The cliche ‘time heals all wounds’ is a popular saying for a reason – it’s true. Whilst there are no hard and fast rules as to how long it takes an average person to get over a relationship, you can reasonably expect it to take at least a few months to fully get over a long-term relationship. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, provided you are seeing progress of some kind, you are moving in the right direction.

2. Take Care Of The Basics

In the aftermath of a break up, it can be easy to let eating, sleeping and work duties slide. It’s tempting to just lie in bed, wallowing in self-pity and wondering what went wrong. This, however, will not help you get over a break up. Resist this urge!

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Make a promise to yourself that you will wash, dress and make yourself eat at least one proper meal every day. It’s normal to gain or lose a bit of weight following emotional turmoil, but any significant changes need to be reported to your doctor or therapist.

3. Reach Out To Other People Who Have Been There

You probably have friends or relatives who have survived relationship breakdown and perhaps even emerged stronger for it. Find these people and ask them questions about their experiences. It can feel very comforting to know that other people have also been through immense emotions similar to those you are facing.

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4. Tackle Negative Thoughts Head-On

After losing someone you love, you may find yourself indulging in negative and unhelpful thoughts that will not set you up for positive relationships in the future. This is common, especially if you had invested a lot in the relationship. Thoughts include, ‘No-one will ever love me again,’ and ‘I’ll never be happy again.’ When you look at these thoughts carefully, you will realize that they are not rational. Be aware of them, honor them, but promise yourself not to be drawn into dwelling on them.

5. Keep Relentlessly Busy

Is your schedule looking a little bare? If you have been engrossed in a relationship that has been demanding a lot of your attention for some months or years, you might have been neglecting your social life or hobbies. Now is the perfect time to reclaim yourself and start sorting a new life out for yourself! Start by getting back in touch with old friends or by picking up interests or hobbies that may have fallen by the wayside during your relationship.

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6. Start Keeping A Journal

Research has shown that expressive writing, in which you keep track of your feelings and describe a difficult experience, works to reduce feelings of stress and depression. Start a notebook in which you record your innermost thoughts and feelings relating to the breakup. Over time, you will be able to see the progress you have made. It can be encouraging to realize that you can approach a previously unbearable situation with a new degree of emotional maturity.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash/Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

Being single can make you weary, especially if you didn't initiate a breakup, it could be easy to get carried away with reminiscing and what-if scenarios. Staying caught up in the past is toxic to your growth, however, and interferes with your ability to move forward. Single life can be self-actualizing and enjoyable, but you need to embrace it first. No matter where you are on your journey in coming to terms with being single, the following 12 fantastic things will happen when you accept it.

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1. You will be more focused.

    Once you start to treasure your new-found freedom, you will realize that taking time for yourself will show you what is most important in your life. Enjoying your single time will make what you want clearer and reveal which areas of your life you should build upon. Additionally, studies show that experiencing something alone results in our brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.

    2. You will be more active.

      Studies show that unmarried people are also more fit than their hitched counterparts. Let yourself welcome being single, and use this time to your benefit. You'll be more confident and in control when you do meet someone special.

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      3. You will be more likely to have high goals.

        Being single means you can't settle. In case someone who captures your heart comes along, you need to be at the top of your game. By embracing your time being single, you will be more able to pursue your goals and work towards a more complete, fulfilling future.

        4. You will be more creative.

          Spending time alone is also linked to an increase in creative thinking. Spending more time alone will force you to be a deeper thinker, and could lead you to solutions and projects you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

          5. Your schedule will be your own.

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            Once you get past feeling lonely and realize how wonderful being single is, you will become aware of one of the best perks – your schedule is now completely your own. No longer do you need to have nights out approved, nor will long days at work get interrupted. Relax into loving your single life because nothing is quite as liberating as deciding every moment of your weekly schedule.

            6. You will likely save money.

              Dating is a great way to wave goodbye to all your hard earned cash. When you're with someone, there's nothing more important than impressing them, including your income. However, when the relationship fizzles, you realize how this tactic doesn't pay off. Not only are we more prone to spending when dating, married couples are more likely to have credit card debt than unmarried singles. So don't get depressed when you're eating cheap meals alone – it's really a form of investing in your future!

              7. You won't need to compromise on entertainment.

                Particularly if your significant other tends to have different tastes than you, being single can be a blessing. As soon as you can appreciate being single, you will realize how freeing it is to always watch exactly what you want. There is no longer any need to skimp on your favorite movies, plays, or TV shows that others don't appreciate.

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                8. You will have more time for your family.

                  Another thing you will realize once you learn to relish being single is you now have much more time for family. Especially when it comes to older relatives, time spent with them truly is precious. Make the most of your single time by reconnecting with family members in your life you may have been neglecting.

                  9. You have more time for your friends.

                    Once you start basking in your single glory, you will also find that you have more time for your friends. Not only will increased free time let you reconnect with friends you may have neglected while being half of a couple, studies also show that married people have much weaker social lives than those who are unmarried.

                    10. You will find new haunts in your city.

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                      Once you start to enjoy your single life again you will also find that you have plenty of time to rediscover your city. Where relationships see us fall into the same habit of favorite spots to drink, eat, or dance, when you're on your own you will naturally start to explore fresh venues again.

                      11. You'll find more interests.

                        Similarly, enjoying your time being single will give you more time to consider new hobbies and interests. Instead of repeating the same go-to dates, you can now freely explore activities that really make you passionate.

                        12. You will be more aware of what you want.

                          Ultimately, taking time to ourselves is an important ingredient in discovering what type of person is our ideal match, or what career we can happily commit to. By delighting in your uninhibited life, you are more able to experiment and thereby find out what works for you and what doesn't. Don't look at being single as a drawback, since learning more about yourself and finding out what makes you tick are crucial in forming balanced, healthy relationships in the future.

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