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5 Essential Tips On How To Get Over A Crush

5 Essential Tips On How To Get Over A Crush

Have you ever been in the midst of all-consuming love or lust for another person?

It can be extremely distracting, even to the point of leaving you unable to concentrate on your work or college classes. You may even suffer physical symptoms such as a lack of appetite, upset stomach, and an inability to sleep. It is therefore essential that you learn to handle the very strong feelings that can arise when you begin to grow serious feelings for another person. Think of the ability to get over a crush as a life skill that all sensible adults must develop. It’s part of being self-aware and emotionally intelligent.

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1. Take A More Rounded View Of The Person

When you feel infatuated with a particular individual, it can be easy to take a very one-sided view of them. You may spend a long time dwelling on their better qualities and overlook their very real limitations that render them human. This is not to say that you need to try and hate the person in question. Rather, it’s healthy to remember that they are a multi-faceted person with weaker qualities too!

Also consider that they have probably had past relationships, and that these relationships will have ended with good reason. However much you may feel as though the opposite is the case, keep in mind that no-one is perfect.

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2. Develop Your Own Good Qualities

Sometimes we develop crushes on people not because of who they are, but for what they represent. For example, if you tend to develop crushes on people who are very artistic or creative, this may actually be a sign that you need to honor your own creative streak on a more regular basis. Beware of trying to seek in other people the traits, lifestyle or characteristics that you really crave for yourself. Instead, channel your energy into creating the life that you want. This may involve a lot of self-awareness and goal-setting, but the effort will be well worth it in the end.

3. Use Distractions To Help You Get Over A Crush

Sometimes you just need to keep yourself busy to distract yourself from your feelings. Make sure that you are keeping up with your friends and hobbies. Do not allow yourself more than a few minutes a day to dwell on the person in question. If you catch yourself preoccupied with the same repetitive thoughts, gently pull your mind back to the present. Mindfulness exercises or meditation can help develop this ability to live in the present and quiet your mind.

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4. Talk To Someone About Your Feelings

Having a crush can be a very lonely experience. You might feel as though no-one else understands you, and that you are alone and wrapped up in your feelings. This needn’t be the case – when you start talking to other people, you will discover that the vast majority will have moved past such feelings at some point or another. Being able to talk about your feelings to someone else may be just the thing you need to gain a sense of understanding and insight. Very few adults have never felt the pain of unrequited love or never known what it is like to nurse a huge crush.

5. Try To Appreciate The Good Parts Of Having A Crush

As annoying as it can be to have to deal with all-consuming feelings, try to appreciate the positives that having a crush can bring. For example, it shows that you are able to feel attracted to another person and appreciate their finer qualities. One day, you will meet a person who is capable of reciprocating those feelings.

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Featured photo credit: Tom Sodoge via stocksnap.io

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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