Have you ever been in the midst of all-consuming love or lust for another person?
It can be extremely distracting, even to the point of leaving you unable to concentrate on your work or college classes. You may even suffer physical symptoms such as a lack of appetite, upset stomach, and an inability to sleep. It is therefore essential that you learn to handle the very strong feelings that can arise when you begin to grow serious feelings for another person. Think of the ability to get over a crush as a life skill that all sensible adults must develop. It’s part of being self-aware and emotionally intelligent.
1. Take A More Rounded View Of The Person
When you feel infatuated with a particular individual, it can be easy to take a very one-sided view of them. You may spend a long time dwelling on their better qualities and overlook their very real limitations that render them human. This is not to say that you need to try and hate the person in question. Rather, it’s healthy to remember that they are a multi-faceted person with weaker qualities too!
Also consider that they have probably had past relationships, and that these relationships will have ended with good reason. However much you may feel as though the opposite is the case, keep in mind that no-one is perfect.
2. Develop Your Own Good Qualities
Sometimes we develop crushes on people not because of who they are, but for what they represent. For example, if you tend to develop crushes on people who are very artistic or creative, this may actually be a sign that you need to honor your own creative streak on a more regular basis. Beware of trying to seek in other people the traits, lifestyle or characteristics that you really crave for yourself. Instead, channel your energy into creating the life that you want. This may involve a lot of self-awareness and goal-setting, but the effort will be well worth it in the end.
3. Use Distractions To Help You Get Over A Crush
Sometimes you just need to keep yourself busy to distract yourself from your feelings. Make sure that you are keeping up with your friends and hobbies. Do not allow yourself more than a few minutes a day to dwell on the person in question. If you catch yourself preoccupied with the same repetitive thoughts, gently pull your mind back to the present. Mindfulness exercises or meditation can help develop this ability to live in the present and quiet your mind.
4. Talk To Someone About Your Feelings
Having a crush can be a very lonely experience. You might feel as though no-one else understands you, and that you are alone and wrapped up in your feelings. This needn’t be the case – when you start talking to other people, you will discover that the vast majority will have moved past such feelings at some point or another. Being able to talk about your feelings to someone else may be just the thing you need to gain a sense of understanding and insight. Very few adults have never felt the pain of unrequited love or never known what it is like to nurse a huge crush.
5. Try To Appreciate The Good Parts Of Having A Crush
As annoying as it can be to have to deal with all-consuming feelings, try to appreciate the positives that having a crush can bring. For example, it shows that you are able to feel attracted to another person and appreciate their finer qualities. One day, you will meet a person who is capable of reciprocating those feelings.
Featured photo credit: Tom Sodoge via stocksnap.io