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5 Essential Tips On How To Get Over A Crush

5 Essential Tips On How To Get Over A Crush

Have you ever been in the midst of all-consuming love or lust for another person?

It can be extremely distracting, even to the point of leaving you unable to concentrate on your work or college classes. You may even suffer physical symptoms such as a lack of appetite, upset stomach, and an inability to sleep. It is therefore essential that you learn to handle the very strong feelings that can arise when you begin to grow serious feelings for another person. Think of the ability to get over a crush as a life skill that all sensible adults must develop. It’s part of being self-aware and emotionally intelligent.

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1. Take A More Rounded View Of The Person

When you feel infatuated with a particular individual, it can be easy to take a very one-sided view of them. You may spend a long time dwelling on their better qualities and overlook their very real limitations that render them human. This is not to say that you need to try and hate the person in question. Rather, it’s healthy to remember that they are a multi-faceted person with weaker qualities too!

Also consider that they have probably had past relationships, and that these relationships will have ended with good reason. However much you may feel as though the opposite is the case, keep in mind that no-one is perfect.

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2. Develop Your Own Good Qualities

Sometimes we develop crushes on people not because of who they are, but for what they represent. For example, if you tend to develop crushes on people who are very artistic or creative, this may actually be a sign that you need to honor your own creative streak on a more regular basis. Beware of trying to seek in other people the traits, lifestyle or characteristics that you really crave for yourself. Instead, channel your energy into creating the life that you want. This may involve a lot of self-awareness and goal-setting, but the effort will be well worth it in the end.

3. Use Distractions To Help You Get Over A Crush

Sometimes you just need to keep yourself busy to distract yourself from your feelings. Make sure that you are keeping up with your friends and hobbies. Do not allow yourself more than a few minutes a day to dwell on the person in question. If you catch yourself preoccupied with the same repetitive thoughts, gently pull your mind back to the present. Mindfulness exercises or meditation can help develop this ability to live in the present and quiet your mind.

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4. Talk To Someone About Your Feelings

Having a crush can be a very lonely experience. You might feel as though no-one else understands you, and that you are alone and wrapped up in your feelings. This needn’t be the case – when you start talking to other people, you will discover that the vast majority will have moved past such feelings at some point or another. Being able to talk about your feelings to someone else may be just the thing you need to gain a sense of understanding and insight. Very few adults have never felt the pain of unrequited love or never known what it is like to nurse a huge crush.

5. Try To Appreciate The Good Parts Of Having A Crush

As annoying as it can be to have to deal with all-consuming feelings, try to appreciate the positives that having a crush can bring. For example, it shows that you are able to feel attracted to another person and appreciate their finer qualities. One day, you will meet a person who is capable of reciprocating those feelings.

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Featured photo credit: Tom Sodoge via stocksnap.io

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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