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How To Be Happy Now

How To Be Happy Now

Films are made about it, books are written about it, scientists study it, countries dedicate funds to it, and it’s the one thing we all want — no, it’s not sex or money, what I’m talking about is happiness! Given its amazing physical, social, and mental benefits, happiness has been found to improve health, relationships, and creativity. So, the pursuit of happiness can only be a good thing. Plus it’s free! So here is how to get truly happy now and to start reaping the fabulous rewards right away.

1. Capitalize on Positive Events

Ask a friend, partner, colleague, or acquaintance to tell you about something good that happened to them that day. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as they enjoyed it. While they are sharing the event, actively listen — that means really listen and be engaged by making eye contact, smiling, asking open-ended questions, and making positive comments. You will be amazed at how natural this feels once you get into the moment. Notice how your encouragement is increasing the other person’s positivity by making them feel cared about — it feels good, right? Not only that, but talking about the event together is also a positive experience which will enhance your relationship. Research has shown that romantic partners who responded to each other’s news of positive events in this active-constructive style reported greater relationship wellbeing and were less likely to break up two months later.

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2. Practice Random Acts of Kindness

This involves doing five kind things in one day and then writing about them. First of all, think of the kind acts that you have been the recipient of. Next, reflect on the kind acts you already do. Now, note five acts you want to do and the day that you will do them. When you have completed your acts of kindness, write down what you did and how they made you feel for an extra boost. Chances are you will want to do it again. Research shows this practise makes us feel happier because it makes us think more highly of ourselves and we become more aware of other positive social interactions, which also increases happiness. Note: Do not do the same act over and over again — it will start to feel less special.

3. Practice Forgiveness

We all have hurts and betrayals that we ruminate about at times. Choosing to forgive is a way to release the distress that arises time and time again from the memory of these incidents. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget or even reconcile. Instead, it is about changing your attitude toward the original pain so that it can no longer hurt you.

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To practice forgiveness, you need to commit to your personal healing, recognize your distress is coming from your feelings and thoughts, remind yourself that you can hope for positive things and work hard to get them, decide to make some positive goals to put your energy into, focus on what is good in your life right now, and change the way you think of the past.

Forgiveness can take some time, but it is worth it. Researchers at the University of Miami found that forgiveness is linked to increased life satisfaction, more positive emotions, less negative emotions, and fewer symptoms of physical illness. The same group of researchers also found that forgiving on one day is linked to higher happiness the very next day.

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4. Cultivate Optimism

For this, try the “best possible self” exercise. Take a moment to imagine your life in the future and make it the best you can possibly imagine. Consider everything: career, relationships, hobbies, health, spirituality, and academia. What would happen in your best future? For fifteen minutes, write about what you imagine and be as creative as you like. Research suggests that building optimism about the future motivates people to work towards their goals. This makes the desired future more likely to become a reality. You are not only increasing your happiness in the present, you are also paving the way for sustained happiness down the line. This exercise also teaches you what you want, helps you to restructure your priorities, and increases your sense of control over your life.

5. Savour the moment

Whatever you are doing, be it looking at a sunset, playing with your dog, or eating a piece of chocolate, really be present and appreciate the moment right here and right now. No thinking about anything else. Absorb yourself fully into it and notice what you are seeing or hearing, any sensations such as the breeze on your skin or the feeling of something soft in your hands. Take time to become aware of how you are feeling in this moment. If there is a mood present, what is it? Enjoying the small things in life helps us to build up a beautiful memory bank, and being truly present keeps us content.

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So, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and get happy!

Featured photo credit: SayLuiiiis via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

Reference

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