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5 Actions To Take When Adulthood Breaks You Down

5 Actions To Take When Adulthood Breaks You Down

My twenties have brought transitions in and out of jobs, relationships, careers, friends, homes and cities. There were times when I believed my life was completely on track, feeling an immense pride in my accomplishments and facing the day with a contagious energy and happy spirit.

But there were also times when I felt like I didn’t have a clue what I was doing; when I wondered if I should even bother getting out of bed in the morning. Never before had I experienced such a whirlwind of emotions, sometimes even within the same day.

Its been a profound experience to reach this place where I could somehow believe the world is full of possibilities while simultaneously feeling so trapped I could suffocate. These past few years have forced me into doing some self-exploration to get closer to discovering who I am and what I want out of life. I have done some real digging to learn how to navigate through these periods of uncertainty without falling apart.

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What I have found is this: negative self-talk is what propels that downward spiral of questioning my life choices, wondering what my dreams will amount to, and feeling fear for the vast future ahead.

And, more importantly, I am beginning to realize that the strength of this negative self-talk grows from the weakness of my soul. Because our soul is where our authenticity truly thrives; it is that place in the center of our being that will guide us exactly where we need to be if we can simply quiet our minds. Once we get to this place, that negative self-talk loses its credibility.

In the past few years, these are the tangible actions that have brought me more clarity, quieted my mind, and strengthened my soul when adulthood became too much to bear:

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1. Beginning a day with yoga

The breath and the moving meditation of yoga allows me to re-center. It trains my mind to focus on the subtle shifting of my body, on the way it feels to breathe deep down into my core. This forces me to stop thinking about everything else and instead, to just be.

2. Writing or journaling

I let out all of the negativity that is floating around in my mind. I sit with these words for awhile before I find a way to reframe them into something positive. This positivity is what I choose to take with me moving forward.

 3. Confiding in others

When I say those self-defeating words out loud, I watch them fall gently to the ground; they suddenly don’t seem so invincible anymore.

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4. Traveling

Jumping head first into a new environment is one of the most freeing feelings I’ve ever known. It allows me to become so immersed in the present moment that I escape my mind and find solace in the world surrounding me, putting life back into perspective.

 5. Chasing my passions.

When I do this, even as a hobby, my heart and soul are too filled with happiness to even peek out the window when negativity knocks.

I am beginning to realize that even during times with no clarity, we can create clarity. Feeling lost doesn’t need to result in feeling weak and feeling weak doesn’t mean that we have to fall apart. I have learned that as my soul grows larger, stronger and louder, my negative thinking cowers. It has less impact on my happiness and its message goes unnoticed.

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So like an ex-lover weighing you down, choose to ditch that negativity. Instead, view these years as an opportunity for self-discovery. Recognize that this time of feeling lost can be a stepping stone into a future that aligns more closely with your authentic self.

It is when we are at our most vulnerable that we have the greatest opportunity to make meaningful changes. So spend your time identifying the actions that bring you clarity and inner peace – and create space in your life to do them.

Featured photo credit: Stokpic via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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