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5 Ways Social Media Can Destroy You

5 Ways Social Media Can Destroy You

At the onset of the Internet age, we were led to believe that the more information you have, the better off you are. No data is bad data and all data is useful. But then came social media.

Social media was supposed to be a great equalizing tool. It was a way to share your opinions with friends and strangers. More importantly, it was a way for people to come together to celebrate their achievements or protest their disappointments. It gave a voice to everyone.

But social media has an infamous dark side and the more people share, the more serious this side becomes. As it turns out, living your life online has serious consequences for your self-esteem, your relationships, and your career prospects.

Here are five ways that social media can destroy you.

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1. Oversharing

People who posted three million updates a day used to be funny.

But oversharing does not look the same as it used to because we’re not talking about gratuitous pictures of brunch anymore. Oversharing has people fighting about highly personal matters in the public sphere. They share their personal identification details online. All that is just what they share publicly, never mind private messages.

Oversharing will get you into huge trouble. It’s like airing your dirty laundry to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and the guy you met at the Shell station.  Oh and then there’s all your friends’ friends, family co-workers and the weird people they meet buying a Snickers.

2. Sharing the Wrong Things

Social media was fine and good when you accessed it from your computer.

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Back in the day, posting on social media looked like this: think of something funny. Make a mental note to put it on Facebook later. Log on to Facebook. Reconsider whether you’re as funny as you think you are. Post status/log off. Repeat.

Now, even your dog can Tweet with his Apple watch while you’re sitting in traffic. You’re losing three steps out of that process. Today, it looks more like: think of something funny. Post status. Repeat.

What you’re missing is that valuable time between making a joke and posting it online. That time is important because it gives you the space to figure out whether you’re hilarious or just kind of a jerk. Having that time prevents you from making a joke about the victims of the Boston Marathon Bombing. Ultimately it stops you from being ridiculed and threatened by people you’ve never met.

3. Facebook Addiction

Facebook addiction was another hilarious joke until it became a serious problem. Now, even people who hate Facebook have a small subconscious need to get validation with likes.

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Facebook addiction is real and it is dangerous. Not only does it prevent you from living in the present, it can also leave you with crippling anxiety and insecurities. But few people talk about the real danger of social media addictions.

Facebook addictions make you boring IRL. Nobody wants to hear about what he said on Facebook, what she said on Facebook or what you said on Facebook. If they wanted to know, they would have already seen it, liked it, and moved on.

4. Becoming Internet Famous

The Instagram models will tell you that there’s nothing better than being Internet famous. It drives traffic to their websites and many have become millionaires from their bedrooms. But that’s not entirely true. Its fine for some but in most cases, it means having every shred of privacy ripped from you before you’ve even realized what’s happening.

Sometimes you’re made Internet famous because you over shared or posted the wrong thing. But sometimes, somebody just decides to make you their victim, maliciously or not. All it takes is one post, one tweet or one picture. All of a sudden, you’ll have hundreds of thousands of adoring fans and the media at your door step.

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But in all seriousness, you need to watch what you post because you’re only one silly picture away from becoming the next Ermahgerd girl.

5. Nothing Is Private

The real danger of social media is not that you might say the wrong thing to the wrong person. The real danger is the fact that one determined person with nothing else to do can find your name, your phone number, your address, your parents’ address, your third-cousin’s Twitter, your boss, your co-worker, your ex-lover, the ex-lover you briefly forgot about and use all this information to systematically tear your life apart piece by piece.

But why would someone go through so much trouble to do that? Because it was probably not that hard. There’s a good chance your own web presence coupled with some inventive searches led them straight down the trail to destroying your social life, your relationships and your career all in one fell swoop.

Social media can build you up. But the way it is used today can also tear you down. Keep this in mind the next time you post anything other than a funny cat video.

Featured photo credit: Ian Clark via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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