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5 Ways Social Media Can Destroy You

5 Ways Social Media Can Destroy You

At the onset of the Internet age, we were led to believe that the more information you have, the better off you are. No data is bad data and all data is useful. But then came social media.

Social media was supposed to be a great equalizing tool. It was a way to share your opinions with friends and strangers. More importantly, it was a way for people to come together to celebrate their achievements or protest their disappointments. It gave a voice to everyone.

But social media has an infamous dark side and the more people share, the more serious this side becomes. As it turns out, living your life online has serious consequences for your self-esteem, your relationships, and your career prospects.

Here are five ways that social media can destroy you.

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1. Oversharing

People who posted three million updates a day used to be funny.

But oversharing does not look the same as it used to because we’re not talking about gratuitous pictures of brunch anymore. Oversharing has people fighting about highly personal matters in the public sphere. They share their personal identification details online. All that is just what they share publicly, never mind private messages.

Oversharing will get you into huge trouble. It’s like airing your dirty laundry to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and the guy you met at the Shell station.  Oh and then there’s all your friends’ friends, family co-workers and the weird people they meet buying a Snickers.

2. Sharing the Wrong Things

Social media was fine and good when you accessed it from your computer.

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Back in the day, posting on social media looked like this: think of something funny. Make a mental note to put it on Facebook later. Log on to Facebook. Reconsider whether you’re as funny as you think you are. Post status/log off. Repeat.

Now, even your dog can Tweet with his Apple watch while you’re sitting in traffic. You’re losing three steps out of that process. Today, it looks more like: think of something funny. Post status. Repeat.

What you’re missing is that valuable time between making a joke and posting it online. That time is important because it gives you the space to figure out whether you’re hilarious or just kind of a jerk. Having that time prevents you from making a joke about the victims of the Boston Marathon Bombing. Ultimately it stops you from being ridiculed and threatened by people you’ve never met.

3. Facebook Addiction

Facebook addiction was another hilarious joke until it became a serious problem. Now, even people who hate Facebook have a small subconscious need to get validation with likes.

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Facebook addiction is real and it is dangerous. Not only does it prevent you from living in the present, it can also leave you with crippling anxiety and insecurities. But few people talk about the real danger of social media addictions.

Facebook addictions make you boring IRL. Nobody wants to hear about what he said on Facebook, what she said on Facebook or what you said on Facebook. If they wanted to know, they would have already seen it, liked it, and moved on.

4. Becoming Internet Famous

The Instagram models will tell you that there’s nothing better than being Internet famous. It drives traffic to their websites and many have become millionaires from their bedrooms. But that’s not entirely true. Its fine for some but in most cases, it means having every shred of privacy ripped from you before you’ve even realized what’s happening.

Sometimes you’re made Internet famous because you over shared or posted the wrong thing. But sometimes, somebody just decides to make you their victim, maliciously or not. All it takes is one post, one tweet or one picture. All of a sudden, you’ll have hundreds of thousands of adoring fans and the media at your door step.

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But in all seriousness, you need to watch what you post because you’re only one silly picture away from becoming the next Ermahgerd girl.

5. Nothing Is Private

The real danger of social media is not that you might say the wrong thing to the wrong person. The real danger is the fact that one determined person with nothing else to do can find your name, your phone number, your address, your parents’ address, your third-cousin’s Twitter, your boss, your co-worker, your ex-lover, the ex-lover you briefly forgot about and use all this information to systematically tear your life apart piece by piece.

But why would someone go through so much trouble to do that? Because it was probably not that hard. There’s a good chance your own web presence coupled with some inventive searches led them straight down the trail to destroying your social life, your relationships and your career all in one fell swoop.

Social media can build you up. But the way it is used today can also tear you down. Keep this in mind the next time you post anything other than a funny cat video.

Featured photo credit: Ian Clark via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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