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How To Keep Your Cool During Summer Events

How To Keep Your Cool During Summer Events

Summer brings an array of welcome things: sunshine, vacations, travelling, and hammocks — just to name a few. But summer is also the season for parties and gatherings and I’m sure your weekends are already filling up with weddings, showers, reunions, etc.

Some of us may welcome these these festivities as easily as we would lemonade. For us introverts, however, we’d rather hide from the faces that fill up these nerve-wracking engagements.

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But just as you hit the gym to prepare for that bikini and beach, you can also do some prep work for these events.

Rehearse Your Answers

You know the questions are coming. The questions about your job, your love life, your diet, etc. People will ask anything and everything, either out of genuine interest or out of idle curiosity. To keep them from putting you on the spot, rehearse your answers and get ready to fill them in.

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Write Your Autobiography

If you’re already comparing yourself to old friends who (you think) are doing better and cooler things than you, stop! And write up your own bio. Focus on the things you love and what you’re proud. When it comes your turn to share, you won’t cower behind both your insecurities and their accomplishments.

Be A Politician

As I mentioned above, people will ask you what they want to know, but you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. Pretend to be a politician who always manages to give the answer that he or she wants you to hear, irrespective of the question asked.

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Prepare For The Small Talk

You might not enjoy small talk, but it’s an inevitable part of social gatherings, and when I find myself dreading it, I say my own, positive affirmation: “I find the perfect words to say.” It helps me feel more comfortable during the chit-chat. You can also check out icebreakers or dating questionnaires. They’re not only for first dates; they’re a fun way to engage with fellow partiers. Similarly, dating expert Matthew Hussey offers advice on how to have a great conversation in his YouTube video, 3 Steps to Become a Great Conversationalist. It doesn’t apply specifically to dating at all — anyone and everyone can benefit from it!

Deal With Claustrophobia

If your inner introvert doesn’t like crowds and all that noise, take a pause, even if it’s only for five minutes. Think of those people who meander outside, cigarette in hand, without being considered antisocial. Give yourself a smoking break too, only without the cigarette. Find a place to breathe, focus, and be mindful. It’s not about escaping from people as much as it is about returning to yourself again.

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Counter Your Jealousy

When we see friends getting married, having babies, or earning degrees, we might feel a bit green with envy. To counter this negativity, you can say a positive affirmation like, “All is coming to me,” Or, “I am open to all the beautiful things coming my way.” Similarly, you can picture yourself as the bride, the new mom, or the PhD student and try to empathize with them and share in their joy.

Be Entertained

You might not be the center of it all and you probably don’t want to be either! But you can certainly watch the colorful movie playing before your eyes. The characters, conversations, and costumes are all a display of life and this doesn’t have to intimidate you. It can inspire you!

In the end, summer is a busy time, and to keep us from getting fed up, we just have to do some prep work. It’s all a show and, like any show, you can perform like a true star with a little practice.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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