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How To Keep Your Cool During Summer Events

How To Keep Your Cool During Summer Events

Summer brings an array of welcome things: sunshine, vacations, travelling, and hammocks — just to name a few. But summer is also the season for parties and gatherings and I’m sure your weekends are already filling up with weddings, showers, reunions, etc.

Some of us may welcome these these festivities as easily as we would lemonade. For us introverts, however, we’d rather hide from the faces that fill up these nerve-wracking engagements.

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But just as you hit the gym to prepare for that bikini and beach, you can also do some prep work for these events.

Rehearse Your Answers

You know the questions are coming. The questions about your job, your love life, your diet, etc. People will ask anything and everything, either out of genuine interest or out of idle curiosity. To keep them from putting you on the spot, rehearse your answers and get ready to fill them in.

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Write Your Autobiography

If you’re already comparing yourself to old friends who (you think) are doing better and cooler things than you, stop! And write up your own bio. Focus on the things you love and what you’re proud. When it comes your turn to share, you won’t cower behind both your insecurities and their accomplishments.

Be A Politician

As I mentioned above, people will ask you what they want to know, but you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. Pretend to be a politician who always manages to give the answer that he or she wants you to hear, irrespective of the question asked.

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Prepare For The Small Talk

You might not enjoy small talk, but it’s an inevitable part of social gatherings, and when I find myself dreading it, I say my own, positive affirmation: “I find the perfect words to say.” It helps me feel more comfortable during the chit-chat. You can also check out icebreakers or dating questionnaires. They’re not only for first dates; they’re a fun way to engage with fellow partiers. Similarly, dating expert Matthew Hussey offers advice on how to have a great conversation in his YouTube video, 3 Steps to Become a Great Conversationalist. It doesn’t apply specifically to dating at all — anyone and everyone can benefit from it!

Deal With Claustrophobia

If your inner introvert doesn’t like crowds and all that noise, take a pause, even if it’s only for five minutes. Think of those people who meander outside, cigarette in hand, without being considered antisocial. Give yourself a smoking break too, only without the cigarette. Find a place to breathe, focus, and be mindful. It’s not about escaping from people as much as it is about returning to yourself again.

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Counter Your Jealousy

When we see friends getting married, having babies, or earning degrees, we might feel a bit green with envy. To counter this negativity, you can say a positive affirmation like, “All is coming to me,” Or, “I am open to all the beautiful things coming my way.” Similarly, you can picture yourself as the bride, the new mom, or the PhD student and try to empathize with them and share in their joy.

Be Entertained

You might not be the center of it all and you probably don’t want to be either! But you can certainly watch the colorful movie playing before your eyes. The characters, conversations, and costumes are all a display of life and this doesn’t have to intimidate you. It can inspire you!

In the end, summer is a busy time, and to keep us from getting fed up, we just have to do some prep work. It’s all a show and, like any show, you can perform like a true star with a little practice.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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