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13 Important Life Lessons I Learnt In My 30s That I’d Like You To Know Earlier In Your 20s

13 Important Life Lessons I Learnt In My 30s That I’d Like You To Know Earlier In Your 20s

Have you ever looked back upon your younger self and thought “if only I could have told them what I know now?” Of course without learning we would never get to where we are now, so going through the process is inevitable. The silver lining however is that we can always pass our wisdom onto others in the hope that what we know might help somebody else down their path of self discovery. Some things from your 30-something self, to your 20-something self:

1. Don’t go for your dream till you’ve got enough money, you’ll never start

Patience is a virtue. If you can think sensibly and wait until you are truly ready to go after your dream, the chance of it coming true multiplies. It doesn’t mean you won’t do it. It just means you have to do it right. Hold your horses. Know when to walk and when to run.

2. Don’t care too much about what others think

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    Easier said than done, but there are certainly ways you can get better at this if you are conscious of it. Focus on the goal, not what others will think of it, or who is looking at you while you get the job done. It will be a far less anxious, and a far more rewarding journey.

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    3. Don’t place too much importance on what you look like

    Appearance is so much less important than you think. Worrying about it is attached to all the things you will keep close to you – the best friends will be the ones who care only about what kind of person you are inside.

    4. Don’t beat yourself up too much

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. Trust that you are the great person you believe you are. Don’t doubt that, even when bad things happen. It’s the best thing you can do to support yourself. Otherwise when you get to thirty you’ll be worse for wear than you need to be.

    5. Do learn everything you can. This never stops.

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      As long as we are living we are learning! This is the greatest part of consciousness. Surround yourself with greatness; great people, great opportunities. Make your learning experience the best it can be.

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      6. You’re going to make mistakes.

      If you make a mistake, move on. It happens. We can try our hardest, but we are all human, and when we do let the team down we can only be sorry and learn. Don’t dwell on it too much. Take it as a lesson for a future place where you will succeed.

      7. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

      “If you focus too hard on the lost skateboard, you won’t see the Rolls Royce parking right in front of you.” – Girlosophy

      8. Don’t worry too much about the future.

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        The future is happening regardless. Don’t worry about aging, or dying, or losing, or even winning too much. What will be will be.

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        9. Do enjoy your youth, and being that age.

        Enjoy being exactly where you are at. Look around. Focus on everything that is happening right now. It will never be just like this again. Learn to treasure that.

        10. Don’t think you know everything.

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          Never think this, no matter what age. There are always things you don’t know, and when you understand this, you keep learning wonderful things from everything you come into contact with.

          11. Do hold onto the things you care about.

          You get to choose what you treasure. If you come into contact with a good thing — hold onto it. They don’t come along all that often.

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          12. Do put your family first.

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            Family are for life! Nurture those relationships and keep those bonds strong. They will be your greatest allies in life.

            13. Do work hard at what you want.

            By the time you’re 30 you’ll most likely have it.

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            Last Updated on October 14, 2020

            Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

            Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

            Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

            “Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

            It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

            You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

            Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

            Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

            Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

            1. Make a Gratitude List

            In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

            Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

            Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

            What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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            The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

            Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

            2. Write in a Journal

            Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

            All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

            Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

            However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

            3. Meditate

            Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

            Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

            Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

            Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

            Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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            Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

            Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

            4. Do Child’s Pose

            Yoga Outlet says:

            “Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

            When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

            It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

            To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

            Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

               

              Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

              5. Try Positive Self-Talk

              Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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              When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

              Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

              When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

              When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

              Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

              6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

              Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

              You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

              It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

              Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

              If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

              7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

              “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

              If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

              You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

              When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

              If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

              Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

              Final Thoughts

              If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

              Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

              You can invest in yourself via self-care.

              You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

              More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

              Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

              Reference

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