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The Difference Between Looking Good and Feeling Good

The Difference Between Looking Good and Feeling Good

We all have very different standards when it comes to what we define as pretty and I never really knew how to define beauty. Of course I had plenty of time over the past twenty-something years of my existence to form my own opinions on what I believed to look nice and what I thought of as plain ugly. Yet, as years passed by, my what-is-pretty-or-not checklist kind of changed as I realized that looks can’t be limited to a few clothes put together in a way that society defines as ‘fashionable’.

I think it really hit me when I came across the #ChooseBeautiful ad campaign from Dove last year and how it kind of made me realize that despite our differences, we have at least one thing in common: insecurities. I know we all experience them in different ways and on different levels but as this world is full of a lot of very confident people, it is also filled with not-so-confident humans.

So then I started to wonder where confidence was coming from and so I began by looking for a definition. According to the Oxford Dictionaries, it is:

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A feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.’

So, who teaches us to appreciate the person we are and trust the idea that it is actually okay to just go out there and be totally ourselves without fearing judgment or potential harm?

Looking at someone who’s dressed nicely or simply matches all of our ‘pretty’ criteria is a pleasant thing to do. It’s not as if we were all granted with the closet of one of the Kardashians or gifted with the ability to shop all the right items needed to pull up a stylish look. Yet, it doesn’t mean that we too don’t want to be labeled as pretty.

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I always find it surprising how some people can breathe of absolute confidence. You can easily tell how good and comfortable they feel. Perhaps it’s something about the way they walk or the way their body moves when they speak. There are times when I find it so complicated to simply try to connect all the dots of my body just so the way I feel on the inside wouldn’t interfere too much with how I look on the outside. Yet, for the looking-confident people out there, it seems so easy to just navigate through the staring crowd.

Perhaps is it because they master their appearance and will only let it show what they want it to. We all have our days when getting out of bed already seems like an insuperable challenge so we just figured that since we’ve been brave enough to ditch our blanket, we’ve deserved the right to put a minimum amount of effort in getting dressed.

The truth is that the idea that ‘we are what we wear’ is often a misconception. I’ve seen people looking impeccable from head to toe when I knew very well about how miserable they felt on the inside. Because at the end of the day, no matter how confident you feel about yourself, it always has something to do with the outside world. I know a lot of people happily like to brag about how they couldn’t care less about what other people have to say about them but still, I can’t help but think that to a certain extent, it always has something to do with society, social media or even friends and family.

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If you think about it, it takes us years of trying out styles. We go from one to the other, trying to make it the best reflection of where we stand right now in our lives. It’s our best protection, like a shield made of cotton and at the same time our most vulnerable item. It remains the first thing we let the world see of us. So perhaps, instead of trying to cover it all up with piles of accessories and make-up, we should try to start from within so there wouldn’t be so many layers needed to disguise what we are on the outside.

Maybe the difference between looking good and actually feeling good lies in these tiny bits of thoughts and efforts we decide to bring together no to let the world see how great we are but to push ourselves a little higher. It’s about the way we decide to treat ourselves, our body and as they often rightly say, our temple.

As Precious movie star Gabourey Sidibe once said:

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‘People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl … It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.’

If home is where the heart is then I think it’s time we love ourselves so much that we feel like our heart will always be in the right place.

Featured photo credit: luigi morante via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

1. Exercise Daily

It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits

Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

The basic nutritional advice includes:

  • Eat unprocessed foods
  • Eat more veggies
  • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
  • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

    5. Watch Out for Travel

    Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

    This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

    If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

    6. Start Slow

    Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

    If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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    7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

    Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

    My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

    If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

    I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

    Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

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    Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

    Reference

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