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Award winning Cheatsheet to turn your life around. Try these amazing steps today.

Award winning Cheatsheet to turn your life around. Try these amazing steps today.
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Are you waking up unhappy or slipping away into the drenching array of negativity with questions like:

Why am I not successful?

What am I going to do? All my friends have figured things out, but not me.

I don’t want to go to college, but how will I survive?

Why can’t I just get a grand idea and make the world change for the better?

I try so hard, but why can’t I get the results?

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You are definitely not alone. I had these same questions until I realized that I had gone through enough and put the most life challenging parts of my story into a book. After I dreaded the process for 3 whole years just to help people, I realized that I’m pretty successful. I’m a 23 year old author now. Doesn’t that just sound amazing to you? I see my name on Amazon and it gives me chills that I had completed that one thing.

The question I ask myself now is that if I backtracked to 6 years ago, would I read a book to change my life? I probably wouldn’t. A cheatsheet of the book would have been better. Lucky for you, I have put together one, simplifying the tips on how to change your life from absolute chaos to freedom. I’ve called my concept THE BREADCRUMB BALANCE.

Your first step to moving forward is to give things a chance. Remember that quote? To have a different outcome, you have to start doing things differently. Focusing on the lifestyle will lead you to the life.

The Breadcrumb Balance PART 1
This is vital for growth in any aspect of life.

So… maybe you like bread or maybe you don’t. Luckily, for you, this really isn’t about either one. Have you ever seen how a solid loaf of bread looks? What am I asking? Of course you have! It’s firm, yet soft. It leaves some crumbs if not consumed or fully used up. The breadcrumb is useful for other things. Don’t trash it just yet.

Okay, but what does this have to do with me or growth?

Maybe you aren’t where you want to be in life since you’re reading this, but just like the breadcrumb, don’t trash your life. I was once in a dark place too. I was frustrated and annoyed by everything just because I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t accepted by society or even my family because of things I felt and chose. I was attracted to women and that could have gotten me killed where I was from. I was also doing drugs, clubbing all night, then going to school drunk in the morning. Deep down, all I wanted was to have a decent life and make myself proud, but i didn’t know what to do or how to get there. I was the underdog, the black sheep, the I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF person. The only thing is I was good at was hiding it.

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What got me to safer, more stable grounds?
The Breadcrumb Balance.

So, to answer your question: WHAT THE HECK IS THE BREADCRUMB BALANCE?

The breadcrumb balance is using the portion or section of anything that is deemed as unimportant or useless to build on the task at hand and get the results you want. That’s Part 1 of 2, but let part 1 sink in first.

The breadcrumb is useless after you have used the bread until the lightbulb goes off. You realize that breadcrumbs can be used to prepare baked chicken, bake a cake, or make delicious appetizers like croutons. Better yet, the birds can live off of it too. Why throw it out when you can improve the cycle of life? In a nutshell, it’s just taking what’s useless and making it good again. Faith is Key.

How do I put the Breadcrumb Balance into action?

HEALTH, WEALTH, LOVE, AND HAPPINESS —>> THE GOOD LIFE

STEPS

  1. Make a decision. What do I really want? A main objective is needed. You don’t need to throw in the towel just yet and say I haven’t figured out my life fully so I can’t use the Breadcrumb Balance. No! It’s a must that you accept that you need change in your life. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you there, but you must know that growth is necessary and you must be willing to keep moving until you get to that point. Accepting that you haven’t got it all figured out isn’t enough. There has to be a sacrifice to give up the lazy and lackadaisical life you’re living now. There has to be a second stage that you hit to move from where you are. You don’t know what to do? Fine, but what will move you closer to success, happiness, or preferably both? What are some things you’d like to do before you kick the bucket?
  2. Set goals. After you have accepted and decided that change is necessary, you must write down all the things you wish to accomplish and by what date. This is completely necessary. I used this strategy to move from Jamaica to America, lose 60 pounds, and write a book on how my life changed immensely in all ways. That said, growth is not subject to one aspect of life. Make sure to write a list of short-term goals that lead to your long-term vision. Keep it as simple as possible. Flooding yourself with goals for timelines that are unrealistic is equivalent to a slow death. Be reasonable with yourself while challenging your abilities. Balance is everything for this step. One thing at a time. Don’t overthink yourself to death. If you need help or you get stuck, just message me. I’ll help you.
  3. Condition your mind. This is the most important part to me. Making yourself more aware is one of the most life changing investments one could possibly make. Do whatever it takes to make yourself believe and know that what you want is possible. I used vision boards, gratitude walks, prayer, reading the bible, and motivation videos on YouTube to keep me grounded for change. These helped me understand faith a bit more too. Our belief systems may differ, so you are free to use whatever you wish to enhance and enlighten your own path. I also made my goals repetitive in my mind, telling myself throughout the day that I am now living my dreams. Along with repeating this, I began to visualize what it would be like if I was really living my dreams. I began to picture what I would wear, how I’d smell, speak, and the people I’d meet. Nothing was left out. The more you visualize, the more you’ll feel like it is true. The more you can feel it is, the closer you’ll become to manifesting the opportunities you wish to accomplish. Always remember: searching for gold will lead you to gold. This is Faith.
  4. Activating goals. Take action! It’s no doubt that if you follow these steps you will be on your own way to achieving. However, you cannot move forward without wanting to physically move. Sounds dumb right? Then again, how can you get out of bed if you don’t actually make an effort to move? That’s crazy! It’s just the same as the law of motion (unless movement is applied to an object, it will stay the same). Treat your goals like these objects; unless you take action, no growth will take place. You don’t need to kill yourself off to gain traction, but a little effort is all it takes. When you begin to fall in love with your results, try to do 1% more than the day before. Just 1%. I began to write, exercise, and pack my suitcase everyday. I always knew I wanted to write, travel, and lose weight, but it didn’t seem like a legitimate thing to do. I loved expressing myself. Now. I’m an actual author with my in depth story on Amazon, 60 pounds lighter, and in a new country. It’s unbelievable! I never knew I had it in me to do all these things because of how inconsistent I always was, but a little effort everyday with the other steps made it possible. The minute you begin to apply movement to your life is the moment you’ll begin to see results. Stop feeling like a victim. You’re not. No one is better than you, either. The quality of your thoughts will impact the quality of your actions, so develop tiny movements every day that will lead you closer.
  5. Trust your journey. I always knew that the challenges I faced were for a specific reason. I didn’t always have it figured out and I surely didn’t know what I’d become. I was a college dropout and living the life of God knows what. No one expected the things I was doing. I was never a straight A student because I wasn’t the type to go out of my way for that. I was smart, but I didn’t always make smart decisions. I’m guessing you’re similar to who I thought I was, but listen, it’s all a piece of the puzzle. Look at me now, at age 23 I’m giving life lessons. I became a mentor for kids before I moved and I’ve helped them develop their mindsets from “0-100 Real quick”, as Drake said. Worrying is good sometimes, but not to the point where you suffer. Worry in such a way that you become focused on fixing the root of the issue. Notice I didn’t say fix the issue? Fix the ROOT of the issue, which is your mind, your perspective, and how you view things. Life is much more than we often think. No one can help you unless you decide to fix the root of the issue. Trust your journey. Life isn’t out to get you – it’s reacting to you. You must learn to adapt because if you don’t, you will not move forward. You will stick to that same old negative thinking and not push yourself. Instead of giving up, be open-minded to adaptation.

If you know the things that will help you get to a certain goal, but you hate the process so much that it demotivates you, get a creative alternative. I hated reading books, but I knew I needed to get the information someway somehow.

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What did I do?

I began listening to audiobooks and made my own notes. I even downloaded a few podcasts and followed cool people on social media. Follow the ones you can emulate even if they don’t necessarily have the same belief system as you. Use them as a mentor because they have the strategies you desire. DJ Khaled is one of these people I use. This guy is the king of Snapchat. He has surface madness, but if you analyze what he says and does on a spiritual level, the guy is straight up dope. Tai Lopez is one I couldn’t stand, but I gave him a chance and now I don’t go a day without keeping up with his snaps. It’s really good to find what works for you and just keep working at it.

It takes 30 days to build a habit.
Challenge yourself and follow these steps for 70 days.

Be humble. This means try to be more aware of things you don’t know. Be open to learning. Instead of saying, “I already know this”, ask “what more should I know about this?”

Challenge who you are. Never stop being curious and try to be better than you were yesterday (or even a couple hours ago). We were conditioned and wired to buy things even if we don’t need it. It’s a consumer’s world, but is it worth it to conform to that? Train yourself in such a way that you listen to your body and the goals you have to know what you deserve. When you see that you deserve something, you don’t care about greatness because you don’t need greatness. Yes, it’s unconventional, but you really don’t need greatness. All you need is a pain point. Unhappiness is a pain point to show that you need to work on your happiness. Discomfort in the stomach shows you need to eat better. See where this is going? Michael Jordan was conceited, but his coach always loved his ability to be coached. That is true humility. Live to learn. If you want to grow, the more you learn is the more you earn in any aspect.

Try to find the good even on your bad days. You will have bad days, but try your best to have the greatest bad day of all time. Crawl if you have to in order to get things done. Life isn’t waiting for you, so don’t wait for it.

If you want to die with regrets then you’re just a loser. If you want to live a full life but don’t know how to get there, remember you have potential and you work on yourself. I absolutely adore you if you’re willing to try.

Motivation is needed, but some days you won’t be motivated and that’s fine. Yes, I said it’s fine. Not everything you do will be an amazing adventure, it will be drawn out and annoying, but push through it and you’ll be amazed by your results.

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Never give up. If you give up and stay that way, you’re a loser; however, if you have given up and continued after, then I’m still adoring you. Don’t be a loser. Give your life a shot. It’s worth it. If I had given up, I’d be a loser, but here I am today after attempting suicide and going through the motions of life.

Don’t be afraid to shoot me an email to update me on your progress.

You’re worth it. I love you. Keep trying.

Featured photo credit: Bessi/pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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