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Award winning Cheatsheet to turn your life around. Try these amazing steps today.

Award winning Cheatsheet to turn your life around. Try these amazing steps today.

Are you waking up unhappy or slipping away into the drenching array of negativity with questions like:

Why am I not successful?

What am I going to do? All my friends have figured things out, but not me.

I don’t want to go to college, but how will I survive?

Why can’t I just get a grand idea and make the world change for the better?

I try so hard, but why can’t I get the results?

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You are definitely not alone. I had these same questions until I realized that I had gone through enough and put the most life challenging parts of my story into a book. After I dreaded the process for 3 whole years just to help people, I realized that I’m pretty successful. I’m a 23 year old author now. Doesn’t that just sound amazing to you? I see my name on Amazon and it gives me chills that I had completed that one thing.

The question I ask myself now is that if I backtracked to 6 years ago, would I read a book to change my life? I probably wouldn’t. A cheatsheet of the book would have been better. Lucky for you, I have put together one, simplifying the tips on how to change your life from absolute chaos to freedom. I’ve called my concept THE BREADCRUMB BALANCE.

Your first step to moving forward is to give things a chance. Remember that quote? To have a different outcome, you have to start doing things differently. Focusing on the lifestyle will lead you to the life.

The Breadcrumb Balance PART 1
This is vital for growth in any aspect of life.

So… maybe you like bread or maybe you don’t. Luckily, for you, this really isn’t about either one. Have you ever seen how a solid loaf of bread looks? What am I asking? Of course you have! It’s firm, yet soft. It leaves some crumbs if not consumed or fully used up. The breadcrumb is useful for other things. Don’t trash it just yet.

Okay, but what does this have to do with me or growth?

Maybe you aren’t where you want to be in life since you’re reading this, but just like the breadcrumb, don’t trash your life. I was once in a dark place too. I was frustrated and annoyed by everything just because I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t accepted by society or even my family because of things I felt and chose. I was attracted to women and that could have gotten me killed where I was from. I was also doing drugs, clubbing all night, then going to school drunk in the morning. Deep down, all I wanted was to have a decent life and make myself proud, but i didn’t know what to do or how to get there. I was the underdog, the black sheep, the I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF person. The only thing is I was good at was hiding it.

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What got me to safer, more stable grounds?
The Breadcrumb Balance.

So, to answer your question: WHAT THE HECK IS THE BREADCRUMB BALANCE?

The breadcrumb balance is using the portion or section of anything that is deemed as unimportant or useless to build on the task at hand and get the results you want. That’s Part 1 of 2, but let part 1 sink in first.

The breadcrumb is useless after you have used the bread until the lightbulb goes off. You realize that breadcrumbs can be used to prepare baked chicken, bake a cake, or make delicious appetizers like croutons. Better yet, the birds can live off of it too. Why throw it out when you can improve the cycle of life? In a nutshell, it’s just taking what’s useless and making it good again. Faith is Key.

How do I put the Breadcrumb Balance into action?

HEALTH, WEALTH, LOVE, AND HAPPINESS —>> THE GOOD LIFE

STEPS

  1. Make a decision. What do I really want? A main objective is needed. You don’t need to throw in the towel just yet and say I haven’t figured out my life fully so I can’t use the Breadcrumb Balance. No! It’s a must that you accept that you need change in your life. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you there, but you must know that growth is necessary and you must be willing to keep moving until you get to that point. Accepting that you haven’t got it all figured out isn’t enough. There has to be a sacrifice to give up the lazy and lackadaisical life you’re living now. There has to be a second stage that you hit to move from where you are. You don’t know what to do? Fine, but what will move you closer to success, happiness, or preferably both? What are some things you’d like to do before you kick the bucket?
  2. Set goals. After you have accepted and decided that change is necessary, you must write down all the things you wish to accomplish and by what date. This is completely necessary. I used this strategy to move from Jamaica to America, lose 60 pounds, and write a book on how my life changed immensely in all ways. That said, growth is not subject to one aspect of life. Make sure to write a list of short-term goals that lead to your long-term vision. Keep it as simple as possible. Flooding yourself with goals for timelines that are unrealistic is equivalent to a slow death. Be reasonable with yourself while challenging your abilities. Balance is everything for this step. One thing at a time. Don’t overthink yourself to death. If you need help or you get stuck, just message me. I’ll help you.
  3. Condition your mind. This is the most important part to me. Making yourself more aware is one of the most life changing investments one could possibly make. Do whatever it takes to make yourself believe and know that what you want is possible. I used vision boards, gratitude walks, prayer, reading the bible, and motivation videos on YouTube to keep me grounded for change. These helped me understand faith a bit more too. Our belief systems may differ, so you are free to use whatever you wish to enhance and enlighten your own path. I also made my goals repetitive in my mind, telling myself throughout the day that I am now living my dreams. Along with repeating this, I began to visualize what it would be like if I was really living my dreams. I began to picture what I would wear, how I’d smell, speak, and the people I’d meet. Nothing was left out. The more you visualize, the more you’ll feel like it is true. The more you can feel it is, the closer you’ll become to manifesting the opportunities you wish to accomplish. Always remember: searching for gold will lead you to gold. This is Faith.
  4. Activating goals. Take action! It’s no doubt that if you follow these steps you will be on your own way to achieving. However, you cannot move forward without wanting to physically move. Sounds dumb right? Then again, how can you get out of bed if you don’t actually make an effort to move? That’s crazy! It’s just the same as the law of motion (unless movement is applied to an object, it will stay the same). Treat your goals like these objects; unless you take action, no growth will take place. You don’t need to kill yourself off to gain traction, but a little effort is all it takes. When you begin to fall in love with your results, try to do 1% more than the day before. Just 1%. I began to write, exercise, and pack my suitcase everyday. I always knew I wanted to write, travel, and lose weight, but it didn’t seem like a legitimate thing to do. I loved expressing myself. Now. I’m an actual author with my in depth story on Amazon, 60 pounds lighter, and in a new country. It’s unbelievable! I never knew I had it in me to do all these things because of how inconsistent I always was, but a little effort everyday with the other steps made it possible. The minute you begin to apply movement to your life is the moment you’ll begin to see results. Stop feeling like a victim. You’re not. No one is better than you, either. The quality of your thoughts will impact the quality of your actions, so develop tiny movements every day that will lead you closer.
  5. Trust your journey. I always knew that the challenges I faced were for a specific reason. I didn’t always have it figured out and I surely didn’t know what I’d become. I was a college dropout and living the life of God knows what. No one expected the things I was doing. I was never a straight A student because I wasn’t the type to go out of my way for that. I was smart, but I didn’t always make smart decisions. I’m guessing you’re similar to who I thought I was, but listen, it’s all a piece of the puzzle. Look at me now, at age 23 I’m giving life lessons. I became a mentor for kids before I moved and I’ve helped them develop their mindsets from “0-100 Real quick”, as Drake said. Worrying is good sometimes, but not to the point where you suffer. Worry in such a way that you become focused on fixing the root of the issue. Notice I didn’t say fix the issue? Fix the ROOT of the issue, which is your mind, your perspective, and how you view things. Life is much more than we often think. No one can help you unless you decide to fix the root of the issue. Trust your journey. Life isn’t out to get you – it’s reacting to you. You must learn to adapt because if you don’t, you will not move forward. You will stick to that same old negative thinking and not push yourself. Instead of giving up, be open-minded to adaptation.

If you know the things that will help you get to a certain goal, but you hate the process so much that it demotivates you, get a creative alternative. I hated reading books, but I knew I needed to get the information someway somehow.

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What did I do?

I began listening to audiobooks and made my own notes. I even downloaded a few podcasts and followed cool people on social media. Follow the ones you can emulate even if they don’t necessarily have the same belief system as you. Use them as a mentor because they have the strategies you desire. DJ Khaled is one of these people I use. This guy is the king of Snapchat. He has surface madness, but if you analyze what he says and does on a spiritual level, the guy is straight up dope. Tai Lopez is one I couldn’t stand, but I gave him a chance and now I don’t go a day without keeping up with his snaps. It’s really good to find what works for you and just keep working at it.

It takes 30 days to build a habit.
Challenge yourself and follow these steps for 70 days.

Be humble. This means try to be more aware of things you don’t know. Be open to learning. Instead of saying, “I already know this”, ask “what more should I know about this?”

Challenge who you are. Never stop being curious and try to be better than you were yesterday (or even a couple hours ago). We were conditioned and wired to buy things even if we don’t need it. It’s a consumer’s world, but is it worth it to conform to that? Train yourself in such a way that you listen to your body and the goals you have to know what you deserve. When you see that you deserve something, you don’t care about greatness because you don’t need greatness. Yes, it’s unconventional, but you really don’t need greatness. All you need is a pain point. Unhappiness is a pain point to show that you need to work on your happiness. Discomfort in the stomach shows you need to eat better. See where this is going? Michael Jordan was conceited, but his coach always loved his ability to be coached. That is true humility. Live to learn. If you want to grow, the more you learn is the more you earn in any aspect.

Try to find the good even on your bad days. You will have bad days, but try your best to have the greatest bad day of all time. Crawl if you have to in order to get things done. Life isn’t waiting for you, so don’t wait for it.

If you want to die with regrets then you’re just a loser. If you want to live a full life but don’t know how to get there, remember you have potential and you work on yourself. I absolutely adore you if you’re willing to try.

Motivation is needed, but some days you won’t be motivated and that’s fine. Yes, I said it’s fine. Not everything you do will be an amazing adventure, it will be drawn out and annoying, but push through it and you’ll be amazed by your results.

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Never give up. If you give up and stay that way, you’re a loser; however, if you have given up and continued after, then I’m still adoring you. Don’t be a loser. Give your life a shot. It’s worth it. If I had given up, I’d be a loser, but here I am today after attempting suicide and going through the motions of life.

Don’t be afraid to shoot me an email to update me on your progress.

You’re worth it. I love you. Keep trying.

Featured photo credit: Bessi/pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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