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8 Highly Attractive Things In Women (That Have Nothing to Do With Appearance)

8 Highly Attractive Things In Women (That Have Nothing to Do With Appearance)

I’ve been helping men improve their love lives for years now. I’ve probably read dozens of articles on what women find attractive in men. I’ve even written a few of them. The funny thing is, I rarely come across articles that touch on what men find attractive in a woman. Is the modern dating game so lopsided that it’s enough for a woman to just ‘show up’, or do we men stumble merely at the sight of a nice head of hair and a shapely body?

I won’t deny the fact that this is true for a lot of men out there, but there’s a little more needed to really attract a man who isn’t impressed with mere ‘good looks’?

Now, I can’t speak for the entire population here, but here are eight things that I, personally, find incredibly attractive in a woman.

1. Kindness

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    This might sound like a bit of a cliché, but true kindness really is rare these days. Sure, you get people who are nice to those who hold some sort of value to them, but how many people do you meet every day that would go and talk to the lone stranger crying in the subway? I don’t want to be with a person that’s just nice to me, my friends, and my family. I want a person who can brighten up my day by brightening up the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.

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    You have a power to lighten someone’s day just by smiling to them. It’s worth using it often, also to become more attractive in men’s eyes. Studies from the University of British Columbia show that men are attracted to smiling women. A natural smile conveys messages like optimism and stability, which are definitely qualities desired in a mate.

    2. Positivity and sense of humor

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      “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.”

      One of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is the ability to have a great time and have a good laugh. Taking care of your emotional hygiene and good mood should be your priority. Only then you can take life positive, light, and with a fair dose of humor. While I never hold any significant other to a comic standard of say, Ellen Degeneres, I do love a woman who can live life one day at a time, take a joke, and crack a few of her own.

      3. Passion

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        This might sound like a tall ask to some, but I’m a person who needs to be inspired constantly to be happy. To me, there’s no feeling in this world as attractive as being inspired by a woman who’s passionate about her pursuits in life.

        You could be a world class pianist or you could be doctor, the minute I see your eyes light up while talking about what you want to achieve in life, I guarantee you I’ll be falling hard and fast. You cannot get bored together, because there is always a topic to talk about with a girl who is passionate about something.

        4. Getting along with my friends

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          A friend once told me an old Chinese saying of a man that has a wife who gets along with his friends will have a long and pleasant life. Well, I have a feeling that my friend might be lying about there being an actual saying; however, I have to say that it really is a beautiful thing to be with a woman who can get along with your buddies and just be ‘one of the guys’ when she wants to.

          5. Confidence

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            “Nothing is more beautiful than a confident woman who doesn’t pretend to be someone she’s not.”

            I don’t know about you, but I like being around people who are happy to be themselves. You see, it’s not just women who respond powerfully to a confident partner, I love being with a woman who stands up for herself and what she believes in; as long as it’s not an opinion against my sports team or favorite band. Ha! Just kidding. I would never date a girl who didn’t love Iron Maiden.

            6. Being comfortable with her sexuality

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              There’s a lot to be said on what’s sexy and, more specifically, on what makes a woman sexy. To me, what matters is not what a girl wears beneath the sheets or what she’s into, it’s the fact that she’s comfortable with her own sexuality and aware of her sexual energy. Romance is just so much more fun with a woman who knows what she’s into and isn’t abashed about it.

              Your sexuality is a big part of your human nature. The sooner you embrace this side, the better and more attractive partner you become.

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              7. Decisiveness

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                “A girl should be two things: who & what she wants.”

                One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t know what they want and can’t take responsibility for their own decisions. At the end of the day, I’m willing to battle through a few arguments on where we should have dinner or which movie we should watch, as long as I know that I’m with a person who’s strong enough to be decisive.

                8. She has her own sense of style

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                  Here’s the thing: we men are very much visual creatures. It’s just how we’re evolutionary programmed. Something that I absolutely love in a woman is a unique sense of style. I’ll admit that I tend to gravitate towards certain stereotypes – bohemian Goth with a fair share of body ink (in case you’re wondering). I fall in love whenever I see a woman who has a sense of style that I don’t get to see on every street corner.

                  photo credit: Pinterest

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                  Last Updated on June 18, 2019

                  40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

                  40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

                  Do you have racing thoughts and find yourself constantly worrying? An anxious mind is truly distressing.

                  The good news is, there’re simple things you can do to calm your thought.

                  If you want to achieve peace of mind and inner calm, try these 40 simple powerful ways:

                  1. Listen to Music

                  Studies have found that relaxing music can help kids with ADHD to be calmer and focus. But it doesn’t matter what genre of music you want to listen to, as long as you enjoy it and it makes you feel relaxed.

                  Music is food for the soul and an instant way to gain peace of mind.

                  2. Deep Breathing

                  When you focus on your breathing, your mind’s attention is drawn to the life-enhancing process of drawing in air and exhaling.

                  Take five long, deep breaths and focus on your lungs and diaphragm as you do this. This is a quick and easy way to instantly feel calm.

                  Here’re also 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly).

                  3. Go for a Walk

                  Getting out in the fresh air can do you a world of good and promote peace of mind. Take a break and get the blood pumping – especially when the sun is shining.

                  4. Enjoy Nature

                  Too much concrete is never a good thing. Spending time in nature can actually make you feel younger, happier. Here’s why.

                  Spend time away from the city. Listen to the birds singing and enjoy the peace and tranquility.

                  5. Play with a Pet

                  Having a pet to play with is a great way to de-stress. Touch is a powerful sense and can ease tension and promote peace of mind.

                  6. Declutter

                  Have regular clear-outs. Clutter can add to feelings of tension and a clean, clear home allows a clearer, more peaceful mind.

                  Take a look at this article and learn How to Declutter Your Mind to Sharpen Your Brain and Fall Asleep Faster.

                  7. Acceptance

                  Acceptance is crucial for peace of mind. Accepting that there are few guarantees in the world and learning to tolerate uncertainty is a huge leap in the peace-of-mind stakes. Differentiate between what you can and cannot control.

                  8. Mindfulness

                  When we are mindful, we are fully present in the moment and acutely aware of our five senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell.

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                  Engage your senses. This leaves less time for your mind to worry and think about “what ifs.”

                  Here you can learn about The Power of Mindfulness.

                  9. Self Love

                  The more we like ourselves, the greater our peace of mind. We accept ourselves more and feel at ease in the world, no matter what situation we find ourselves in. We experience less insecurity and as a result, our inner peace is heightened.

                  Start trying these 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself.

                  10. Be True to You

                  This is another vital component of peace of mind. When we practice congruency, we behave similarly to the way we feel and think. When the way we see ourselves and the way the world sees us is the same, we are practicing congruency.

                  Problems arise when we see ourselves one way (for example, as a loving mother) but behave in ways that are at odds with how we would like to see ourselves (for example, neglect our children because we are too busy). Finding ways to keep our inner ideals and the way we behave similar is one of the keys to peace of mind.

                  Find out How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want.

                  11. Sense of Humor

                  Laugh a lot. The world is instantly a better place when you can see the funny side of life. Laughter is a great antidote for stress and releases hormones that help us relax.

                  12. Love Unconditionally

                  When you don’t expect anything back, it makes it easier to love without fear. When we love with conditions attached, our unmet expectations can create inner turmoil and feelings of resentment. Insecurities destroy peace of mind.

                  13. Go for Regular Health Checks

                  It pays to keep checks on your health and look after yourself. Letting ourselves go can indicate a lack of self-respect, and this in turn will affect the way we see the world and the way others interact with us. Be kind to yourself and make the most of what you have.

                  14. Take Stock

                  Every now and then, it’s a good idea to check whether you’re happy with the quality of your life. Do you like your job? Your relationship? Are you on the right track? Make adjustments if necessary to restore peace of mind.

                  15. Have Goals

                  This ties in with number 14. Goals keep us going in the right direction and give us a sense of purpose. Make your goals SMART: How to Set SMART Goal to Make Lasting Changes in Life

                  16. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

                  This relates to number 11. Learn to be more flexible in your approach to life. The more rigid our thinking is, the easier it is to experience situations that contradict our rigid ideas.

                  17. Live in the Moment

                  Instead of worrying about the past or panicking about the future, really enjoy the NOW. It’s all we have — this moment in time.

                  When we live in the present, the concerns of the past and future can’t worry us.

                  Here’re some tips on How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future.

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                  18. Worry Less

                  We apparently have somewhere between 30,000 – 75,000 thoughts per day, of which 80% are random “nonsense.”

                  Learn to “shelve” worrying by reminding yourself that most of your worries are unproductive and remove any chance of peace of mind.

                  Some advice for you who worry often: How to Worry Less: 90% of What You Fear Won’t Happen

                  19. Be Assertive

                  You have as much right to be here and to have an opinion as anyone else. When we become passive or submissive, we do ourselves a disservice.

                  Being assertive isn’t about your needs ahead of others (aggressive) or their needs ahead of yours (passive). Rather, it is about compromise —  a “win-win” situation.

                  Learn How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way.

                  20. Speak Your Mind

                  Don’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking. This goes hand in hand with being assertive.

                  Ask for what you want in life. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

                  21. Enjoy “Me-Time”

                  Time out is important. A little bit of selfish time to treat yourself or do exactly as you please sets you up for taking on the constant demands of life. Balance in life is crucial.

                  22. Frolic

                  The free online dictionary describes the word “frolic” as:

                  “To behave playfully and uninhibitedly; romp.”

                  All work and no play will stress anyone out. Make time for things you enjoy. Try to inject fun into situations that aren’t particularly enjoyable. Approach life with a playful attitude. When did you last let the child in you come out to play?

                  23. Let It Go

                  There are some things that you just cannot change, no matter how hard you try. Know when to cut your losses and detach (Just like Elsa does!)

                  When you start to let go of your past, these 10 things will happen.

                  24. Resist Guilt

                  Guilt is a negative emotion that removes peace of mind. Although it can motivate us (in the wrong way), it is still a toxic emotion.

                  Challenge the reasons for your guilt to make sure you aren’t placing unnecessary pressure on yourself.

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                  25. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

                  Focusing on all the things in our lives that we are grateful for promotes peace of mind and reminds us that there are always positives. Sometimes we just have to nudge our awareness.

                  Try these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

                  26. See Failure as a Learning Curve

                  Failure has such negative connotations, but actually, everyone fails. How can you improve or learn anything if you never fail?

                  A healthy attitude towards failure encourages bravery. It’s not you that is the failure, instead it is what you tried that failed. There is a big difference.

                  27. Connect with Others

                  One of the true joys of life is sharing life with others and knowing that others “get” you. We feel less alone and feeling understood allows a fantastic sense of well-being.

                  28. Test Your Limits

                  You’ll never know your true potential if you always stay in your comfort zone. As the old saying goes, it is better to look back and regret what you did than regret all those things you wish you’d tried.

                  Learn to step out of your comfort zone: 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

                  29. Find Positive Outlets for Negative Emotions

                  Sports, online forums, like-minded people, hobbies…whatever takes your fancy. Suppressing negative emotions can lead to ill health. Release tension and frustration in a pro social way and feel a whole lot happier.

                  30. Slow Down

                  Why does everything need to be accomplished today? Often, we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves when there is no need to.

                  Challenge your impatience, be mindful and enjoy life in the moment.

                  31. Challenge Your “Shoulds” and “Musts”

                  Self-induced pressure never leads to inner tranquility or peace of mind. Replace “should” with “could” and live life more on your own terms.

                  32. Be Kind

                  It’s free and it makes a difference. When we show kindness, it gives us an inner boost, too.

                  You can try these 29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day.

                  33. Don’t Compare

                  The more we compare, the more we lose ourselves.

                  Forget what everyone else is doing or saying. What do YOU want? We all have our own paths to follow, and we are all learning and going through life at our unique pace.

                  Focus on your own journey and lose the stress of comparing yourself to what you think is going on in the lives of others. This is a surefire way to eliminate peace of mind.

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                  34. Affirmations

                  Talk to yourself positively by using affirmations. A good example of one that encourages peace of mind is: “No matter what comes my way, I will find a way to get through it.”

                  Believe in yourself and remind yourself regularly that you will be okay.

                  Need some more inspirations to affirm yourself? Here’re 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

                  35. Save a Little Money as Often as You Can

                  Putting money aside is always a good idea. If you can afford to save money regularly, do it. Start up a regular debit each month, and you won’t even realize it’s gone.

                  36. Less Is More

                  Money buys choice, but it doesn’t buy us the happiness we crave. Be content with the simpler things in life — that’s where the real long-lasting joy and peace of mind comes from.

                  37. Perspective

                  Always  keep your eye on the bigger picture. Will you feel this way next week, or a year from now? Will your current experience of life seem as important?

                  More often than not, you will be just fine. Foster peace of mind by maintaining perspective in life.

                  38. Monitor Your Thoughts

                  Our thoughts can make or break our quality of life. Make sure to choose thinking that works for you.

                  Talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Self-loathing serves no purpose and will undoubtedly extract joy from your life.

                  39. Stand up for What You Believe In

                  Whether it’s protecting animals or helping those less fortunate than yourself, follow your heart and your passion. Fight the urge to fit in and do what’s expected.

                  When you change yourself to suit others, you give away your peace of mind.

                  40. Get Enough Sleep

                  When we’re tired and grumpy, nothing goes smoothly. Get eight hours of sleep per night and regenerate your body.

                  Final Thoughts

                  The most important ways to achieve peace of mind involve being true to yourself, accepting that life is uncertain and watching your thinking. Many of us mentally “torture” ourselves daily with the things we tell ourselves.

                  Trust your thoughts less, pay less attention to the negative ones and focus on what you are thankful for in life, and you’ll be well on your way to inner peace of mind.

                  Featured photo credit: sean Kong via unsplash.com

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