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10 Best Ways To Build Long Term Connections With People You Сan’t Hold With

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10 Best Ways To Build Long Term Connections With People You Сan’t Hold With

Being connected to a network of personal and professional resources is critical to growth and success in all parts of our lives. It’s important that we continue to build these networks throughout adulthood, forming new relationships, but also maintaining those that we have nurtured over time. The success of relationships comes from the right approach. Instead of thinking “what’s in it for me,” start with the attitude of “how can I help and be supportive of this individual?” You will then build strong relationships that others want to continue.

Building Your Connections

As you reach out to others to form initial connections, there are 5 ways to promote your personal brand and show others that you have value to offer.

Speak:

You do not want to monopolize conversations, either in person or online; however, it is important that others understand your passions and your interests. Your enthusiasm for what you do and what is important to you sends a strong message to others – you are someone they want to know. So, whether you are giving your 30-second elevator speech to a stranger at a wedding reception or presenting to a large group, show your energy and passion and speak to how what you do helps others. You want to present yourself as a servant, not as one who wants to be served.

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Be a Participant:

Join one or two professional organizations; and also a club or group that relates to your personal interests. Be selective and keep these memberships to a small number, so that you can participate fully. This is how you get to know other people and they get to know you. Joining too many spreads yourself too thin, and if they are too large, they become impersonal. The connections you make will all be superficial – acquaintances, not relationships.

Publish:

Whether it is on your blog or social media platforms, writing is a great way to present your passion to others. And in that writing, provide value to others. What value do you bring to the table? What solutions can you provide for others? Can you entertain or inspire with what you write? There are the things that will draw others who want to become a part of your network – personal or professional.

University Connections – Past and Present:

There are no doubt connections that you made during your college days, and you have lost touch since. Find those folks on social media and renew those relationships. If you are currently in college, start building connections now – they may be of great value in your future.

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Volunteer:

Becoming a valued member of your community through volunteering. It’s an excellent way to connect with others and to feel good about accomplishing something that gives back. If you can become a leading supporter of a charitable cause, you can promote that cause online as well, and make new connections in a broader community. And, if you have a business, and your business supports a charity, you will build a large community of supporters among millennials and Gen Y’ers. Social responsibility is a big factor when these two generations make decision about who to do business with.

Maintaining Your Connections

Once you have many connections, you want to maintain them, whether they are personal or professional. An important reminder however: treat your connections as individuals who you support and serve in some way, not as people who can only promote or help you. There are 5 ways to do this:

Create or Keep Creating:

If you don’t find an organization that meets your needs for networking, create one – either physical or virtual. As a founder, you will have immediate credibility and can become an influencer in your niche. And, as a founder, you will have faster and greater access to other influencers – a great way to grow your network of connections.

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Express Gratitude and Congratulations:

Birthdays, weddings, new babies, and other holidays should always be remembered, even if only with an e-card. This keeps all of your relationships intact, and knowing that you have remembered and taken the time is important. Expressing gratitude in some way is also critical. Even if a connection introduced you to someone new, gratitude must be expressed. Nothing beats continued and regular communication in such positive ways.

Create Formalized Communication Methods:

Write articles that you regularly share; share great writing that others have produced, including those within your network; produce a newsletter that provides value to your tribe as a whole; recognize members of your network publicly when they accomplish something.

Plan Social Events:

Host informal gatherings a couple of times a year. If your local network is small, use your home; if large, find an informal gathering place. This puts you in regular contact with your connections and allows them to connect with one another as well. And, if you invite each person to bring another, look how you can widen your network by just one event.

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Telephone:

This may seem “old school” but it is very effective. Pick ten people each week, and call two each day, for a short 15-minute conversation. That’s 30 minutes a day that pays off handsomely in terms of deeper bonding and more enduring relationships.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Dante Munnis

content manager

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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