Advertising
Advertising

This Is Why You Prefer To Be Single Now

This Is Why You Prefer To Be Single Now

What I’ve come to realise more than anything is that being single is not a better or worse path than being in a relationship. It is quite simply a different one. It has its own incredible, warm and enlightening benefits, just like being in a relationship does. And when you realize those benefits, well, it can be a hard life to un-choose.

The thing is, we always are in a relationship – with ourselves. And when this relationship is good, when we nurture it and find all we need from within, it is the happiest we can ever be. Anything on top of that is a bonus.
When we take the time to have this relationship with ourselves, we find out what we really need. We realize the true power and freedom in making choices for ourselves, and all of the possibility that includes. We can go anywhere we like, with anyone we choose, and it is only while on these paths that we discover who we are and what we are looking for in life. As a single person, we have time for this and are making time for this, and we are feeling good about ourselves because of our own making. We are not in danger of losing our identity, only of finding it.

Advertising

I recall reading the infamous Eat Pray Love, and stumbling across a paragraph whereupon Elizabeth Gilbert leaves her husband and begins to allow herself single-person thoughts, such as “What do you want to do Liz?”
To which she replies, starting small and slowly getting larger in her ideas:
I want to go to Yoga class.
I want to go home early from this party so I can go home and read a novel.
I want to learn how to speak Italian.”

Our possibilities are limitless, and the more time we spend with ourselves, the more we begin to see just how large we can actually dream. In the words of Bob Dylan: “When you ain’t got nothing you got nothin’ to lose.” Which is true, in terms of responsibility. Except you don’t have nothing. You have everything, right at your fingertips.

Advertising

The greatest joys I have ever known within a relationship are when you can share the joys of your own life, of the things you love and strive for – the things that make you who you are. When you know those things and live them, they are only then exacerbated by the people who come into your life and love them too. And vice versa. We can be proud and excited and strong for our loved ones when we are strong in ourselves.

We can also exist entirely in the moment, without thinking about the future. Being single means a lot of traveling, sleeping over the whole bed, flirting, and wreckless fun. It’s about enjoying our own achievements, answering to no one, going where the wind takes you. It is a time we can fully commit to our education, our careers and hobbies.

Advertising

We spend so much of our lives either in love or thinking about being in love. So we must cherish those precious moments in between, the moments where we don’t have someone else to think about, the moments where we understand the true value of selfishness, and its place in the balance of all things. Because if you don’t know these things about yourself, you cannot truly understand your needs in compliance with somebody else’s – the bright somebody of your future. The somebody who will someday run alongside you, as your best and most wonderful single self.

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Magdeleine via magdeleine.co

More by this author

25+ Quotes That Bring You Inner Peace To Face With Every Challenge What Is Lactose Intolerance And What To Do If You Have It Nutritionists Say Granola Bars Are Just Dressed Up Junk Food Researchers Explain Why People Often Feel Disappointed In The Dating World 3 Effective Home Remedies For Annoying Eczema

Trending in Communication

1 18 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate 2 A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights 3 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 4 Why Negative Emotions Aren’t That Bad (And How to Handle Them) 5 5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 23, 2018

18 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

18 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

Spiritually speaking, it is said that even before you were born, the name of your spiritual half has been determined. Each soul has a perfect match… your soulmate.

Although most people think of a soulmate as a perfect harmonious union of bliss, your true spiritual soulmate is the person who is intended to help you “complete yourself.”

Video Summary

Jerry McGuirewas right – soul mates complete each other. A person is unable to complete his mission in life alone. Everyone needs someone to help them become a better person. This is not always a blissful experience.

Being in an honest, sincere, and committed soulmate relationship helps you to become a better version of yourself. You have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, beyond your limits to find your better self.

Even though we tend to think of soul mates as a symbiotic union; soulmate relationships can be rough at the beginning. They can be like two jagged edged puzzle pieces trying to click into place. Sometimes it looks like you do not fit together at all, but soon after a little bit of twisting, turning, and flipping the pieces around, you feel the moment of the perfect click. It’s a feeling deep in your soul, that says, this is the right one.

Often soulmates appear in disguise. You might not be physically attracted to each other when you first meet, but there is a mysterious force pushing you forward that tells you this is “the right one” for you.

You have a personal checklist of everything you want in a partner. Tall- check. Dark hair (no curls please)-check. Blondes only-check. 6 pack abs- check. Or you can be likeJerry Seinfeldwho knows his date is not “the one” becauseshe eats her peas one at a time.

Advertising

So, if you are brave enough to move away from your romance checklist, open your eyes and your heart to unexpected possiblities, you might just be one of the lucky ones who finds their true soul match.

You know you’ve found your soulmate when:

1. You just know it.

Something deep inside tells you this is the perfect one for you. It’s as if there is a spiritual force pushing you to let go of everything you previously expected and to give of yourself completely.

2. You have crossed paths before.

Soulmates have met each other and a previous time. You may not have connected, but you were in the same place, at the same time. Before my husband and I met, we lived across the street from each other and worked across the street from each other. Yet we never met until the time was right.

3. Your souls meet at the right time.

Each person has to be ready to receive the soul connection. Even though my husband and I were in close proximity of each other for many years, we did not meet until the time was right for both of us. You have to be prepared to meet your soulmate. It could be that you have to go through a relationship that doesn’t work out, or that you’re not ready to ditch your “perfect person checklist,” but when it comes to soulmates- timing is everything.

4. Your quiet space is a peaceful place.

Being quiet together is comforting like a fluffy down blanket on a cold winter night. Whether you are reading in the same room, or driving in the car, there’s a quiet peace between you.

5. You can hear the other person’s silent thoughts.

With soulmates, there is such depth to your relationship that you can feel and hear what your partner is thinking, even if it is not verbally expressed.

Advertising

6. You feel each other’s pain.

    You stand in each other’s shoes. You know each other so well, that the second he walks in the door, you can tell how his day was. You feel each other’s feelings: sadness, worry, and stress. And you share each other’s happiness and joy.

    7. You know each other’s flaws and the benefits in them.

    Yes, it’s true. Our flaws have benefits. Every trait has a positive as well as a negative side. It’s the task of each person to always look for the good, even when things don’t look so good. There is usually a benefit to each flaw. Stubborn people are good decision makers. Overly organized people are great at paying bills on time.

    8. You share the same life goals.

    You’re both on the same page with values, ethics, and goals. You may have a different way of reaching those goals, but you both want the same end result.

    9. You’re not afraid of having a conversation.

      Conversations can be challenging. Expressing concerns or attempting to make decisions is uncomfortable. Soulmates know that if they join together, they will be able to work it out.

      10. You are not threatened by the need for alone time.

      Whether it’s tennis three times a week or girls’ night out, you respect each other’s need for independence, knowing that when you get together, your time alone is special.

      Advertising

      11. You don’t experience jealousy.

      Pretty girls at the office or handsome personal trainers aren’t a threat to your relationship.You are secure knowing that you are the only one.

      12. You respect each other’s differences and opinions.

        You know you have different opinions. Often soulmates are polar opposite. At times this is challenging. These are the times when you are being forced to let the other person complete you. You still have your own opinion, but instead of agreeing to disagree, there is a deep level of respect for each other. You listen and honor the differences.

        13. You don’t scream, curse, or threaten each other with divorce.

        Of course you feel the anger. People unintentionally hurt each other. But soulmates aren’t nasty, hurtful, or punitive.

        14. You give in because you want to make your partner happy.

        Giving can often occur in unhealthy, co-dependent, or abusive relationships. But soulmates give to each other for the sole purpose of making each other happy.

        15. You know how to apologize.

        It’s not easy to say “I’m sorry” or admit that you did something that hurt the person you love. Soulmates realize that their actions or words cause harm. Even if they feel justified in their point of view, if their partner was hurt by it, they can easily apologize for the harm they have caused.

        16. You would marry each other again.

        You know this is the one and only one for you. Even through the tough times, you would choose your partner again. You feel a sense of pride in your partner.

        Advertising

        17. You complete each other.

        Yes, I’m sorry to say it but, your partner fills in your blanks. No person is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Soulmates complete each other. It’s the yin and yang of perfect harmony. One person may be the extrovert, while one is the introvert. One may be social, while the other a homebody. Soulmates are often opposite that are attracted to a person who has their missing pieces.

        18.Being in each other’s arms washes away all your stress, worries, and anxiety.

        There is no place you’d rather be at the end of the day but in each other’s arms. If you had a rough day filled with disagreements, a fight with your boss or if you missed the train, whatever happened is gone the second you cuddle up together. There is a warmth in your heart, an inner peace you can feel. No words need to be spoken. All that exists is the silent, blissful union of two souls together. Two souls that were meant to be together eternally.

        More Resources About Finding a Soulmate

        Personality Types And Love: Who’s Your Soulmate?

        How To Use Your Intuition To Find Your Soulmate

        These 6 Incredible Things Will Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

        Read Next