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This Is Why You Prefer To Be Single Now

This Is Why You Prefer To Be Single Now

What I’ve come to realise more than anything is that being single is not a better or worse path than being in a relationship. It is quite simply a different one. It has its own incredible, warm and enlightening benefits, just like being in a relationship does. And when you realize those benefits, well, it can be a hard life to un-choose.

The thing is, we always are in a relationship – with ourselves. And when this relationship is good, when we nurture it and find all we need from within, it is the happiest we can ever be. Anything on top of that is a bonus.
When we take the time to have this relationship with ourselves, we find out what we really need. We realize the true power and freedom in making choices for ourselves, and all of the possibility that includes. We can go anywhere we like, with anyone we choose, and it is only while on these paths that we discover who we are and what we are looking for in life. As a single person, we have time for this and are making time for this, and we are feeling good about ourselves because of our own making. We are not in danger of losing our identity, only of finding it.

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I recall reading the infamous Eat Pray Love, and stumbling across a paragraph whereupon Elizabeth Gilbert leaves her husband and begins to allow herself single-person thoughts, such as “What do you want to do Liz?”
To which she replies, starting small and slowly getting larger in her ideas:
I want to go to Yoga class.
I want to go home early from this party so I can go home and read a novel.
I want to learn how to speak Italian.”

Our possibilities are limitless, and the more time we spend with ourselves, the more we begin to see just how large we can actually dream. In the words of Bob Dylan: “When you ain’t got nothing you got nothin’ to lose.” Which is true, in terms of responsibility. Except you don’t have nothing. You have everything, right at your fingertips.

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The greatest joys I have ever known within a relationship are when you can share the joys of your own life, of the things you love and strive for – the things that make you who you are. When you know those things and live them, they are only then exacerbated by the people who come into your life and love them too. And vice versa. We can be proud and excited and strong for our loved ones when we are strong in ourselves.

We can also exist entirely in the moment, without thinking about the future. Being single means a lot of traveling, sleeping over the whole bed, flirting, and wreckless fun. It’s about enjoying our own achievements, answering to no one, going where the wind takes you. It is a time we can fully commit to our education, our careers and hobbies.

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We spend so much of our lives either in love or thinking about being in love. So we must cherish those precious moments in between, the moments where we don’t have someone else to think about, the moments where we understand the true value of selfishness, and its place in the balance of all things. Because if you don’t know these things about yourself, you cannot truly understand your needs in compliance with somebody else’s – the bright somebody of your future. The somebody who will someday run alongside you, as your best and most wonderful single self.

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire

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Featured photo credit: Magdeleine via magdeleine.co

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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