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Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

People often say that the party ends when you turn 40, especially for the women hitting their menopause at this stage of life. 40 is a number that is usually regarded as a downhill drive for women, in truth, it is not as awful as it is portrayed.

Undoubtedly, menopause is a transition phase in any woman’s life and it surely brings along certain discomforts, such as mood swings, hot flashes and weight gain. But your 40’s are not only about this, there are far more exciting facts this golden year carries within.

1. You’ve become more decisive

Living years under the burden of uncertainities and indecisiveness, the time has finally come when you actually know what you want. At this age you develop the courage to step out of the zone where everyone tells you what you should do with your life.

As a woman we all have experienced this within our families, friends, colleagues and spouses, showing us the directions to take in our lives, which is quite suffocating as an individual. It took you forty years to learn that this is your life and you have the right to spend it as you want to. So you simply cherish these smooth sailing years with a clear head and a certain sense of control over your life.

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2. Maturity teaches you to stop running after idealism

By the time you reach this age you have learnt that the perception of having an ideal life doesn’t really exist. With your own experiences you have understood by now that the grass will always appear greener on the other side, hence you stop comparing your life with others, with the realization that almost everything seems like an epiphany, that we all have problems in our lives and we all live with that.

Just imagine, you’re not bothered by the lives of others in any way. Wow! Somebody should have shown you this back in your teens. With the notion of ‘what if’ fading into the backdrop, you now laugh more, complain less and that’s how in the later years you won’t even mind those laughing lines appearing on your face, as you are too busy being content with what you have.

3. You become healthier and more sleep conscious

Many women start looking more pretty as they age. The primary reason is that they are freed from the burden of raising kids and managing the household. They start becoming more concerned about their health.

Every women desires to look as graceful as she was in her 20s, this encourages them to put more efforts into their health and beauty. Women are found exercising more in their late 30’s or early 40s in contrast to their 20’s. Eating healthier and on time, taking a proper sleep and exercising can make any woman look ravishing.

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4. You work less now

As we age, we discover various beauties of life. If you’re a working woman, you have realized by now that spending all those long hours working to make more and more money wouldn’t do any good to fulfill your void. For those who had to raise children, now is the time that you are free from your responsibilites.

By now you know that it is very important to value time, especially now that you have it, you treat yourself right, giving yourself space and spending on yourself extravagantly. With the passage of time you learn that you should work according to your needs and not just to fill up those accounts.

5. You attain more self confidence

Now is the time when you stop looking up to others and stop worrying about what others might think about you. You feel no anxiety in the pits of your stomach even if you are dressed up differently from the dress code of the party, because nothing matters if you are having fun.

You learn to become carefree, kind of how you were in your teens yet drastically different because now you intend to cherish every little pleasure of life. This devil-may-care attitude proves to be immensely beneficial for you, as your confidence boosts right to the top. You start giving yourself a worth and therefore do not hesitate to share a story or ask for anything. You’re a downright diva at this stage!

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6. You develop your own individuality

From your sense of fashion, to your body language or your mannerisms, all suggest one thing: you have developed your own persona by this age. You don’t find it important to imitate anyone. Your life is different from others and you know your roles.

How you handle day to day living is entirely in your own set ways. This sense of individuality makes you feel empowered, which honestly is better than any other feeling. Most women at this age has a home, children, family, work and much more in her life. The time she spent reaching to this point has developed a unique groomed personality in her. Yes, you’re a lady now!

7. You become more emotionally stable

Can you believe that the pesky roller coaster ride of emotions is finally subduing. Yes indeed, the strike of 40 makes you more stable emotionally. You do not remain that sensitive or touchy for every small little thing.

You realize that no matter what happens, it is not going to be the end of the world even if something is messed up in your life, because you know time doesn’t remain the same and change may be just around the corner. You understand that even if things are not in control right now, you might be able to influence them later on, in worst case scenario you are fine with the fact that it just wasn’t meant to happen. What made you cry in your teens will make you laugh in your 40s! What wonders this age causes, doesn’t it?

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8. Sex becomes a pleasure rather than just a need

Can you believe that sharing intimacy with your partner is not anymore a desperate need to feel fulfilled or just a necessity to maintain a healthy relationship. Now it has developed into means of intense pleasure.

Women in their 40’s enjoy their physical life with a distinct perspective. They do ‘it’ only if they want to have ‘it’ and if they are taking pleasure in it, otherwise it is nearly impossible to turn on a woman without her intention at this age.

9. You save more money

You’re not going to jump into expensive binge shopping just because all other friends are “doing it”. You have gradually turned into a a person who can manage savings with the realization that this might be of help later on, rather than getting something you don’t actually need. It works!

10. You become naughty again

Last but not the least. Most women in their 40’s become more cheerful and naughty as they are mostly done with the things they had in life, duties performed and responsibilities fulfilled; now they know that being serious and stressed all the time will not help them with anything, except catching some premature ageing wrinkles.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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