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Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

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Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

People often say that the party ends when you turn 40, especially for the women hitting their menopause at this stage of life. 40 is a number that is usually regarded as a downhill drive for women, in truth, it is not as awful as it is portrayed.

Undoubtedly, menopause is a transition phase in any woman’s life and it surely brings along certain discomforts, such as mood swings, hot flashes and weight gain. But your 40’s are not only about this, there are far more exciting facts this golden year carries within.

1. You’ve become more decisive

Living years under the burden of uncertainities and indecisiveness, the time has finally come when you actually know what you want. At this age you develop the courage to step out of the zone where everyone tells you what you should do with your life.

As a woman we all have experienced this within our families, friends, colleagues and spouses, showing us the directions to take in our lives, which is quite suffocating as an individual. It took you forty years to learn that this is your life and you have the right to spend it as you want to. So you simply cherish these smooth sailing years with a clear head and a certain sense of control over your life.

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2. Maturity teaches you to stop running after idealism

By the time you reach this age you have learnt that the perception of having an ideal life doesn’t really exist. With your own experiences you have understood by now that the grass will always appear greener on the other side, hence you stop comparing your life with others, with the realization that almost everything seems like an epiphany, that we all have problems in our lives and we all live with that.

Just imagine, you’re not bothered by the lives of others in any way. Wow! Somebody should have shown you this back in your teens. With the notion of ‘what if’ fading into the backdrop, you now laugh more, complain less and that’s how in the later years you won’t even mind those laughing lines appearing on your face, as you are too busy being content with what you have.

3. You become healthier and more sleep conscious

Many women start looking more pretty as they age. The primary reason is that they are freed from the burden of raising kids and managing the household. They start becoming more concerned about their health.

Every women desires to look as graceful as she was in her 20s, this encourages them to put more efforts into their health and beauty. Women are found exercising more in their late 30’s or early 40s in contrast to their 20’s. Eating healthier and on time, taking a proper sleep and exercising can make any woman look ravishing.

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4. You work less now

As we age, we discover various beauties of life. If you’re a working woman, you have realized by now that spending all those long hours working to make more and more money wouldn’t do any good to fulfill your void. For those who had to raise children, now is the time that you are free from your responsibilites.

By now you know that it is very important to value time, especially now that you have it, you treat yourself right, giving yourself space and spending on yourself extravagantly. With the passage of time you learn that you should work according to your needs and not just to fill up those accounts.

5. You attain more self confidence

Now is the time when you stop looking up to others and stop worrying about what others might think about you. You feel no anxiety in the pits of your stomach even if you are dressed up differently from the dress code of the party, because nothing matters if you are having fun.

You learn to become carefree, kind of how you were in your teens yet drastically different because now you intend to cherish every little pleasure of life. This devil-may-care attitude proves to be immensely beneficial for you, as your confidence boosts right to the top. You start giving yourself a worth and therefore do not hesitate to share a story or ask for anything. You’re a downright diva at this stage!

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6. You develop your own individuality

From your sense of fashion, to your body language or your mannerisms, all suggest one thing: you have developed your own persona by this age. You don’t find it important to imitate anyone. Your life is different from others and you know your roles.

How you handle day to day living is entirely in your own set ways. This sense of individuality makes you feel empowered, which honestly is better than any other feeling. Most women at this age has a home, children, family, work and much more in her life. The time she spent reaching to this point has developed a unique groomed personality in her. Yes, you’re a lady now!

7. You become more emotionally stable

Can you believe that the pesky roller coaster ride of emotions is finally subduing. Yes indeed, the strike of 40 makes you more stable emotionally. You do not remain that sensitive or touchy for every small little thing.

You realize that no matter what happens, it is not going to be the end of the world even if something is messed up in your life, because you know time doesn’t remain the same and change may be just around the corner. You understand that even if things are not in control right now, you might be able to influence them later on, in worst case scenario you are fine with the fact that it just wasn’t meant to happen. What made you cry in your teens will make you laugh in your 40s! What wonders this age causes, doesn’t it?

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8. Sex becomes a pleasure rather than just a need

Can you believe that sharing intimacy with your partner is not anymore a desperate need to feel fulfilled or just a necessity to maintain a healthy relationship. Now it has developed into means of intense pleasure.

Women in their 40’s enjoy their physical life with a distinct perspective. They do ‘it’ only if they want to have ‘it’ and if they are taking pleasure in it, otherwise it is nearly impossible to turn on a woman without her intention at this age.

9. You save more money

You’re not going to jump into expensive binge shopping just because all other friends are “doing it”. You have gradually turned into a a person who can manage savings with the realization that this might be of help later on, rather than getting something you don’t actually need. It works!

10. You become naughty again

Last but not the least. Most women in their 40’s become more cheerful and naughty as they are mostly done with the things they had in life, duties performed and responsibilities fulfilled; now they know that being serious and stressed all the time will not help them with anything, except catching some premature ageing wrinkles.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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