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Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

People often say that the party ends when you turn 40, especially for the women hitting their menopause at this stage of life. 40 is a number that is usually regarded as a downhill drive for women, in truth, it is not as awful as it is portrayed.

Undoubtedly, menopause is a transition phase in any woman’s life and it surely brings along certain discomforts, such as mood swings, hot flashes and weight gain. But your 40’s are not only about this, there are far more exciting facts this golden year carries within.

1. You’ve become more decisive

Living years under the burden of uncertainities and indecisiveness, the time has finally come when you actually know what you want. At this age you develop the courage to step out of the zone where everyone tells you what you should do with your life.

As a woman we all have experienced this within our families, friends, colleagues and spouses, showing us the directions to take in our lives, which is quite suffocating as an individual. It took you forty years to learn that this is your life and you have the right to spend it as you want to. So you simply cherish these smooth sailing years with a clear head and a certain sense of control over your life.

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2. Maturity teaches you to stop running after idealism

By the time you reach this age you have learnt that the perception of having an ideal life doesn’t really exist. With your own experiences you have understood by now that the grass will always appear greener on the other side, hence you stop comparing your life with others, with the realization that almost everything seems like an epiphany, that we all have problems in our lives and we all live with that.

Just imagine, you’re not bothered by the lives of others in any way. Wow! Somebody should have shown you this back in your teens. With the notion of ‘what if’ fading into the backdrop, you now laugh more, complain less and that’s how in the later years you won’t even mind those laughing lines appearing on your face, as you are too busy being content with what you have.

3. You become healthier and more sleep conscious

Many women start looking more pretty as they age. The primary reason is that they are freed from the burden of raising kids and managing the household. They start becoming more concerned about their health.

Every women desires to look as graceful as she was in her 20s, this encourages them to put more efforts into their health and beauty. Women are found exercising more in their late 30’s or early 40s in contrast to their 20’s. Eating healthier and on time, taking a proper sleep and exercising can make any woman look ravishing.

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4. You work less now

As we age, we discover various beauties of life. If you’re a working woman, you have realized by now that spending all those long hours working to make more and more money wouldn’t do any good to fulfill your void. For those who had to raise children, now is the time that you are free from your responsibilites.

By now you know that it is very important to value time, especially now that you have it, you treat yourself right, giving yourself space and spending on yourself extravagantly. With the passage of time you learn that you should work according to your needs and not just to fill up those accounts.

5. You attain more self confidence

Now is the time when you stop looking up to others and stop worrying about what others might think about you. You feel no anxiety in the pits of your stomach even if you are dressed up differently from the dress code of the party, because nothing matters if you are having fun.

You learn to become carefree, kind of how you were in your teens yet drastically different because now you intend to cherish every little pleasure of life. This devil-may-care attitude proves to be immensely beneficial for you, as your confidence boosts right to the top. You start giving yourself a worth and therefore do not hesitate to share a story or ask for anything. You’re a downright diva at this stage!

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6. You develop your own individuality

From your sense of fashion, to your body language or your mannerisms, all suggest one thing: you have developed your own persona by this age. You don’t find it important to imitate anyone. Your life is different from others and you know your roles.

How you handle day to day living is entirely in your own set ways. This sense of individuality makes you feel empowered, which honestly is better than any other feeling. Most women at this age has a home, children, family, work and much more in her life. The time she spent reaching to this point has developed a unique groomed personality in her. Yes, you’re a lady now!

7. You become more emotionally stable

Can you believe that the pesky roller coaster ride of emotions is finally subduing. Yes indeed, the strike of 40 makes you more stable emotionally. You do not remain that sensitive or touchy for every small little thing.

You realize that no matter what happens, it is not going to be the end of the world even if something is messed up in your life, because you know time doesn’t remain the same and change may be just around the corner. You understand that even if things are not in control right now, you might be able to influence them later on, in worst case scenario you are fine with the fact that it just wasn’t meant to happen. What made you cry in your teens will make you laugh in your 40s! What wonders this age causes, doesn’t it?

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8. Sex becomes a pleasure rather than just a need

Can you believe that sharing intimacy with your partner is not anymore a desperate need to feel fulfilled or just a necessity to maintain a healthy relationship. Now it has developed into means of intense pleasure.

Women in their 40’s enjoy their physical life with a distinct perspective. They do ‘it’ only if they want to have ‘it’ and if they are taking pleasure in it, otherwise it is nearly impossible to turn on a woman without her intention at this age.

9. You save more money

You’re not going to jump into expensive binge shopping just because all other friends are “doing it”. You have gradually turned into a a person who can manage savings with the realization that this might be of help later on, rather than getting something you don’t actually need. It works!

10. You become naughty again

Last but not the least. Most women in their 40’s become more cheerful and naughty as they are mostly done with the things they had in life, duties performed and responsibilities fulfilled; now they know that being serious and stressed all the time will not help them with anything, except catching some premature ageing wrinkles.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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