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17 Important Life Lessons I Wish My Daughters Knew Earlier

17 Important Life Lessons I Wish My Daughters Knew Earlier

As a mother of two girls, there are many things that keep me awake at night. Our world is becoming smaller and increasingly artificial, reducing the chances of children learning life lessons that are so vital to them. If children don’t learn these lessons on their own, I take it as my responsibility to impart as much wisdom while I still can. And, here are 17 life lessons that I want my daughters to know before it’s too late.

1. Be Content

We live in an age of instant gratification, with the latest mobile phones and clothes becoming a statement to the world. Learning to be content from early on will help as your daughters grow up. They won’t always get what they want, and that’s okay.

2. It’s Okay To Make Mistakes

Firstly, everyone, no matter how perfect, has made mistakes, even your mother. Mistakes are part of growing up. The important thing is to learn from them. The bigger the mistake, the more there is to learn.

3. Life Isn’t Easy

Anyone that has ever achieved anything in life has done it with steely determination and without expecting anything to come for free. The only way to get what you want is to go out there and take it.

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4. Your Opinions Matter The Most

What others think of you doesn’t matter as much as what you think of yourself. People may try to impose their ideas of perfection on you and try to get you to conform to their ideals. As long as you know who you are and what you stand for, it shouldn’t affect you.

5. You Look Great As You Are

There will be pressure on you to look a certain way. There will be people that judge you based on your body, on how fat or thin they think you are. As long as your healthy, what they think doesn’t matter. Everyone is made differently, your beautiful just as you are.

6. Food Is Your Friend

Being skinny is not the same as being healthy. You may feel pressure to stop eating, or only eat “diet” food. These bad eating habits that will only spoil your health. You don’t need to starve yourself to lose weight. A balanced diet and a little exercise will go a long way.

7. Cherish True Friends

You’ll have plenty of friends that will come and go. But, there are a few that will stay with you through all the ups and downs life throws at you. Never take them for granted, true friendship is a valuable commodity.

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8. Kindness Is Key

A little kindness goes a long way. Even in situations where you have every right to be rude, maintaining your attitude and being sensitive to the situation will help define who you are.

9. Learn To Accept Change

In life, there’s only one thing that’s constant, and that’s change. The sooner you accept that fact, that faster you will be happier. Change can be used as fuel, to grow and become who you always wanted to be.

10. Have Fun

Having fun is one of life’s greatest gifts. Don’t get too caught up in things that may seem like the world now. They will become inconsequential in a few years. No matter what the situation, or how dreary it may look, find a way to have a little fun.

11. Set Goals, Work Towards Them

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there. A personal or professional goal, don’t be afraid to set lofty aims. Once you’ve decided what you’re aiming for, make sure you work towards them, even if it’s one small step at a time.

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12. Keep Your Faith

When times get hard, get on your knees and pray. Your faith is like an anchor; it will keep you grounded and help you overcome difficult situations.

13. Family Is Everything

As you grow, you’ll feel the need to stand up on your own. Especially in your teens, your relationship with your family may strain. It may seem like a burden rather than a blessing. The truth is you won’t find the same level of acceptance and love anywhere else.

14. Your Possessions And Your Values Are Separate Things

Having expensive clothes, the latest electronics, and fancy cars isn’t the answer to life’s problems. Things you own or the money you earn are not what should define your value. Those are easy come easy go, what will last is your character, your relationships, and your self-worth.

15. Love Isn’t Like The Movies

Know all those fairy-tale relationships where the princess live happily ever after? It doesn’t always work that way. Relationships need to be cared for and nurtured. Compromise and understanding are the core of happy families.

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16. There Isn’t Much You Cant do

The sky WAS the limit. You define your limits, not your situation or your environment.  If your focused, and willing to put in the hard work, there’s nothing that can stop you.

17. I’ll Always Be There For You

Whether you live next door or in another country, if you feel like you’ve made a mistake or just want to talk, I’ll always be there for you. Daughters are a precious gift; they seem to grow up so much faster than little boys. Life can be full of ups and downs; there is no way you can foresee what it’s coming and try and prepare for it. That’s why I hope these life lessons will help them when they need it the most.

Featured photo credit: http://freephotostags.com/ via freephotostags.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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