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15 Brutal Truths Women In Their 40s Want Women In Their 30s To Know

15 Brutal Truths Women In Their 40s Want Women In Their 30s To Know

I can imagine so many of you nodding your heads as you read this. Anxiety about growing older is understandable. Age is only a number and it happens whether you are prepared for it or not. Knowing these brutal truths earlier prepares you to age more gracefully.

 1. Sleeping with make-up on ages your skin

The make-up layer not only dries out the top layer of the skin, it also prevents the shedding of dead skin. This slows down the normal renewal cycle, resulting in dull and uneven textured skin. The environmental pollutants fastened to the make-up create oxidative stress.  The resulting free radicals can cause your skin to age faster.

 2. Frequent use of stilettos does lead to health problems

When you hit your 40’s, the extended use of high heels and the cramming of your toes into abnormal positions can result in  a variety of ailments, starting with ingrown toenails to irreparable damage to leg tendons. Reserve your stilettos for special occasions only. Stretch and massage your foot afterwards to prevent nerve damage.

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 3. Sleep deprivation adds more wrinkles

If just missing a few nights of sleep leads to sallow skin and puffy eyes, can you imagine the accumulated damage by the time you enter your 40’s? The body releases a stress hormone called cortisol when you don’t sleep enough. High cortisol levels break down collagen, the protein responsible for keeping your skin wrinkle-free.

 4. Always wears sunscreen. Yes, even in winter

When you hit the 40’s and start scrutinizing your wrinkles, you’ll definitely regret not having worn your sunscreen more frequently when younger. Even if you don’t fear skin cancer, year-round application of sunscreen drastically slows the aging of skin due to the ultraviolet rays.

 5. It is indeed harder to lose weight

Just looking at food seems to add pounds as the decades pass. It is easier for women in their 30’s to lose weight. Though it is not impossible, it does get harder as you hit the 40’s since the metabolism does really slow down. If you are overweight, now is the right time to shed those extra pounds. You will definitely reap so many benefits in terms of health, looks and self confidence for the years to come.

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 6. You have to strength train to prevent muscle loss

You can blame this one on the hormones. As estrogen level start declining in the 40’s, other hormonal changes including that of the thyroid, lead to not just increased appetite, but also to loss in overall muscle mass. This increases the chances of gaining weight. Women in their 30’s should start ‘strength training’ to build up muscle, which will help to increase their metabolism and help burn more calories during the day.

 7. You are one beautiful chick

Appreciate how beautiful you are. As you age and you look back at your youthful self, you will realize that you were actually quite good-looking.  Stop agonizing over your pimple, color, height or weight. Enjoy your present. It is indeed a beautiful gift.

 8. Spend quality time with your parents

Though your parents may be quite independent today, they will one day need to be cared for. Have a diplomatic discussion with your parents concerning future living arrangements, health care, funeral wishes and inheritance.

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 9. Speak less and listen more

Really listen and give the other person time to finish their speech. Think it over before answering as people are more apt to listen and value your well thought out reply.

 10. Grow a thicker skin

You should challenge your feelings. If you feel upset with someone’s behavior, it’s high time you stopped letting it stress you out.  Feel pity for them as this actually reflects their inner state, not yours. The world is not going to cater to your sensitivities, so grow a thicker skin and stop take things personally. Don’t let anyone dictate what kind of day you are going to have

 11. Don’t be a people-pleaser

More than being a waste of time, it’s actually damaging. You can’t change or rescue anyone. Accept that it is not your responsibility anyway. Love yourself first. Whether it about getting married or birthing a child, wait until it feels right for you. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to please someone. If you can’t or don’t want to do it, just say NO.

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 12. This is the most advantageous time to have a baby

If becoming a mother is important to you and you have the right man in your life, it is most advisable that you don’t put off having children. Your 30s is the most optimal time for this from a financial and practical view point. As time progresses it may become much more difficult to get pregnant and there are chances of medical complications in such cases.

 13. Save your money, it’ll save you later

Don’t run up your credit cards bills just because you can. You’ll be thankful later when real needs come up. Pensions are extremely important. Buying life insurance young is much cheaper. Focus on becoming financially independent. You should have something of your own.  When you have the means to take care of yourself, you will have more confidence in facing whatever life throws at you.

 14. Focus on yourself and not on a man

Invest in yourself. Make yourself the best you can be. Finish your education or learn a new language. Travel, read, expand your horizons. Focus and maintain your own health – both physically and mentally.

15. Focus on being self sufficient

You must trust in your abilities. You must keep on believing that you have what it takes to make it through. With every obstacle you face in life, you learn so much more about yourself and you will come out much stronger. Be brave.

Featured photo credit: www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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