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6 Important Things To Remember In Your 30s

6 Important Things To Remember In Your 30s

Once we enter our 40s and beyond, hindsight becomes a wonderful thing. It’s a time when we can look back and see how our younger years have made us the ones we are today. Our 20s were the decade that brought youth and discovering our place in the world; a time of fun and care-free attitudes. We are told our 30s are when things start to take shape, we find the person we are meant to become, we establish ourselves in society through our careers, parenthood, marriage and everything comes together. Once we are in our 40s we truly know ourselves and become happy in our skin, knowing we achieved what we wanted. But how much of this is true? Reflecting back in our 40s and 50s, would we have done anything differently? Instead of feeling worldly and knowledgable, our 30s can be the decade of ups and downs and can cause us a sense of bewilderment as we juggle different responsibilities. Everything you do in life helps you become the person we are today. Whether you’re about to enter your 30s or heading full-force to your 40s, learn from those in the know.

1. Stop worrying that your life hasn’t worked out the way you expected it to be

In the throws of youth, we believe that our 30s will be a time when we’ve figured it all out. We will have the career, the marriage, the baby and all that comes with it. But life doesn’t always work out the way we expected it to be. Your 30s are a time that brings immense societal pressure to have everything in place and if you haven’t then you feel a sense of failure. The ‘shoulds’ tend to hold you back – you should have a good career, you should own a home, you should have children. If this is the case for you then you’re not alone. Don’t spend time worrying about what you haven’t done yet and instead just enjoy life – things will come to you in good time.

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2. Spend less time working

Our 30s can be very career-focused and we believe that, to be successful and happy in life, we should be working hard and clocking in those hours. Sometimes we spend too much time putting work first. You start to realize that precious moments with loved ones are much more important than sitting in the office and making money.

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3. Take more chances

The pressure we feel in our 30s causes us to become overly cautious in our decision-making. One reflection is not having lived a little more. Travel the world, pursue that dream job or do that bungee jump! Don’t feel afraid to chase exciting opportunities – just because you’re in your 30s, doesn’t mean you can’t do the things you dream of doing.

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4. Invest more time exercising and being healthy

The anti-exercise and bad eating habits we tend to adopt when we’re younger can carry on into our 40s and it’s this time in life that these bad habits are harder to drop. It’s more difficult to get into shape once we’re a bit older so establishing a positive attitude to exercise and healthy eating will serve you well as you enter your 40s.

5. Spend more time with your parents

We tend to believe that our parents will be around forever. Once we enter our 40s, parents become noticeably older and a common reflection is feeling we should have spent more time with them. Simply going for a walk together will become a lot harder once they become frail so make more time for conversations, vacations and activities that you can do together.

6. Stop believing your 30s are old

Hitting your 30s can be a shock and you start to believe that you’ve truly entered the beginning of old age. You can start to limit yourself because you feel you’re ‘too old’. Well you’re not! Life has not moved on so significantly from your 20s – you are still young. Go out and take those chances. Mindset is a powerful thing and all it takes is a change of perspective to realize that life can be exciting and lived to the full at any age.

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More by this author

Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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