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A Letter To My Friend Who Always Speaks The Truth

A Letter To My Friend Who Always Speaks The Truth

Hey my friend who always speaks the truth,

I’m writing this because we would never talk like this. Fancy words don’t exist between us. We’re always frank to each other, and sometimes, just quite mean to each other actually. It’s a bit awkward if I sincerely say thank you to you face-to-face. No…just too strange for us…

No one is like you, who always dares to speak the truths, not worrying those would hurt me or not. Yes there were times that I felt hurt and angry, but overall, I’m still grateful to have you in my life. Because you’ve uncovered so many blind spots that are blocking my way, which other people won’t be aware of or just dare not to tell me the truths.

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I still remember when you told me he really didn’t suit me, I was crying helplessly. I still remember the time you said that I was not following my heart but just feeling too insecure. The time you told me not to act anymore, when I was indeed not feeling happy at all…The time you reminded me I was not treating myself well enough and loving myself enough…

And you’re fearless to criticize my outfit. You said my hair cut was a really bad one. The dress was way too expensive than it should be, etc. It’s uneasy to accept criticism all the time, but constructive ones do help and make us advance.

With you, I’d know who I am, that I don’t need to act. I can be the real me. Nevertheless, your wise comments would never stop popping out. These push me to step out my comfort zone and always go for something better.

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When I was extremely passionate about my new plans, you pointed out the brutal truths. When I lose hope for the world, you reminded me how large and beautiful the world can be. You’re like the balance in my life, pulling me from getting to the extremes.

Hearing so many such frank comments, I’ve become a person who speaks her mind more bravely. Not only to you, but also to myself, as well as to others (of course I’d set boundaries for different kinds of people and loved ones).

There were times that I thought you were wrong. I thought you were too subjective and not seeing the whole picture as I did. Really you are wrong sometimes, because you’re human too. While more often, I’d find what you said was full of wisdom.

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We don’t get together all the time. We have our own lives. True friends are like this. They don’t see each other often, but you’re always in their hearts. From time to time they’d call you or send you a message about something you’d be interested in. You don’t need to be very polite to each other too, because you know the other person wouldn’t mind.

Once again, let me thank you, for all the truths you told me, though they’re usually not expressed in beautiful words. Those are not polished, like you, but beautiful in itself.

Love,

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Your friend

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Chloe Chong

Chloe is a social media expert and shares lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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