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A Letter To My Friend Who Always Speaks The Truth

A Letter To My Friend Who Always Speaks The Truth

Hey my friend who always speaks the truth,

I’m writing this because we would never talk like this. Fancy words don’t exist between us. We’re always frank to each other, and sometimes, just quite mean to each other actually. It’s a bit awkward if I sincerely say thank you to you face-to-face. No…just too strange for us…

No one is like you, who always dares to speak the truths, not worrying those would hurt me or not. Yes there were times that I felt hurt and angry, but overall, I’m still grateful to have you in my life. Because you’ve uncovered so many blind spots that are blocking my way, which other people won’t be aware of or just dare not to tell me the truths.

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I still remember when you told me he really didn’t suit me, I was crying helplessly. I still remember the time you said that I was not following my heart but just feeling too insecure. The time you told me not to act anymore, when I was indeed not feeling happy at all…The time you reminded me I was not treating myself well enough and loving myself enough…

And you’re fearless to criticize my outfit. You said my hair cut was a really bad one. The dress was way too expensive than it should be, etc. It’s uneasy to accept criticism all the time, but constructive ones do help and make us advance.

With you, I’d know who I am, that I don’t need to act. I can be the real me. Nevertheless, your wise comments would never stop popping out. These push me to step out my comfort zone and always go for something better.

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When I was extremely passionate about my new plans, you pointed out the brutal truths. When I lose hope for the world, you reminded me how large and beautiful the world can be. You’re like the balance in my life, pulling me from getting to the extremes.

Hearing so many such frank comments, I’ve become a person who speaks her mind more bravely. Not only to you, but also to myself, as well as to others (of course I’d set boundaries for different kinds of people and loved ones).

There were times that I thought you were wrong. I thought you were too subjective and not seeing the whole picture as I did. Really you are wrong sometimes, because you’re human too. While more often, I’d find what you said was full of wisdom.

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We don’t get together all the time. We have our own lives. True friends are like this. They don’t see each other often, but you’re always in their hearts. From time to time they’d call you or send you a message about something you’d be interested in. You don’t need to be very polite to each other too, because you know the other person wouldn’t mind.

Once again, let me thank you, for all the truths you told me, though they’re usually not expressed in beautiful words. Those are not polished, like you, but beautiful in itself.

Love,

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Your friend

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Chloe Chong

Chloe is a social media expert and shares lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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