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10 Things to Avoid If You Want to Be a Good Roommate

10 Things to Avoid If You Want to Be a Good Roommate

Americans are choosing live with roommates more than ever. The money saving benefits are one of the main reasons so many choose to live with roommates. A noticeable increase in community living situations has taken place in the last decade. About 32% of Americans currently live in a roommate living situation.

Upon entering adulthood I have already lived in eight different homes, all with roommates. I lived with close friends, new acquaintances, siblings, and other family members over the years. The following list of less than ideal “roommate quirks” are common among living scenarios with many people. Maybe you’re already guilty of some of these things? Regardless, it’s important to avoid these annoying lifestyle habits. These roommate dynamics can be a breaking point for many people.

1. Stop leaving your laundry unfinished.

I’ve lived in homes that don’t have a washer and dryer, so I have a huge appreciation for this commonly overlooked convenience. Spending unwanted hours in dingy, crowded laundromats is no fun at all. It seems like a common courtesy but it’s easy to put off your laundry when you’re in the middle of a busy day. Follow through with it and complete your laundry in a respectful time frame. Treasure the fact you have a working washer and dryer, and finish what you’ve started.

Laundry

    via Giphy

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    2. Poor communication usually leads to frustration.

    The barriers of ineffective communication are sometimes hard to break down. Everyone needs to be on the same page, and there has to be a clear cut way to easily get into contact. We live in a world where everyone has cell phones, so utilize that and actually respond to those you live with. Group texts are great because they keep everyone informed and centralize important conversations. In the tech-friendly world we live in, no one has to be left in the dark. But more than anything, make sure what you are communicating is purposeful; stop just talking and start actually communicating!

    3. Casually sampling their food is not okay.

    Quite possibly the most annoying part of living with someone is when they take advantage of your tasty leftovers or casually eat their way through your weekly grocery supply. Roommates are not parental figures (typically) and they don’t want to provide for your lazy ass. Buy your own food, cook your own meals, tie your own shoes, and tread lightly if you absolutely feel the need to be a leftover rogue. It’s only a matter of time before you get caught in the act.

    ponyo gif

      via Bookbyte Blog

      4. Forgetting to pay your bills on time is stressful for everyone.

      Bills are very commonly split among roommates, which in essence makes the process more convenient for everyone. However, the last thing you want is for your roomies to have to pry the money you owe them out of your hands. Keep in mind that if the electric bill is in your roommate’s name and you pay them your portion late, they’ll more than likely have to front the money for you. As in my past experiences, this puts you in a bad spot.

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      5. Messy public areas are irritating.

      I’ll admit it, my bedroom isn’t always the cleanest place and neither is my car sometimes. One thing’s for sure though: the public areas around my house are. Places like the kitchen, bathroom, and even porches and closets can spiral into unorganized chaos. Don’t leave food remnants on your kitchen counters or other areas of your home. Do you want to attract mice and rats and catch the hantavirus?! Didn’t think so. Communicate to your roommates that it’s ideal to have some form of system in place to avoid recurring messes.

      garbage house

        via Huffington Post

        6. Make battles over the thermostat a thing of the past.

        This is a timeless argument. One roommate prefers to live in a freezing cave and the other pinches every penny and refuses to turn the AC on when it’s the middle of July. Discuss the situation, and come to a compromise. It’s literally that simple.

        7. Don’t neglect cleaning the refrigerator.

        I once had an incident in a fridge at a house that I shared with four other people. It involved what I would consider a bag of primordial ooze that I believe was kale at one point in time. When food gets so moldy it’s radiating a toxic scent, it’s definitely time to throw that stuff away and clean out your disgusting refrigerator. It’s amazing how that unknown putrid smell is instantly gone once your fridge is clean and sanitized. You should never have to be afraid of what’s lingering inside the vegetable crisper.

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        catfridge

          via Giphy

          8. Clean the kitchen items everyone shares.

          The kitchen could be the most high-traffic area in your home, especially when you live with people who all cook and eat on different schedules. This can often times lead to bitter feelings tied to finding your prized frying pan covered in bacon grease from three days ago. I’ve seen knives dulled and dishes so dirty that it’s debatable whether they’ll actually ever be clean enough to eat off again. Have you experienced someone who makes pillars out of dirty plates, or collects cups in their room like they are hosting some type of filth museum? Not okay!

          9. For the love of dog, take care of your pets.

          This one should go without saying but it’s astounding that people often times forget about basic levels of care associated with owning a pet. Whether a cat, dog, or chinchilla, routine care like providing fresh food and water daily can get pushed to the back-burner. Just like small children, animals sometimes defecate inside homes. Remember to always clean that crap up—literally.

          On that note, litter boxes can be treacherous territory with the potential to stink up an entire house. If you live with a pregnant roomie, excessively dirty litter boxes can cause birth defects in newborns. You don’t want to live with that guilt. So clean up after kitty, they’d do it themselves if only they had opposable thumbs.

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          dogmixer

            via io9

            10. It’s simple: don’t be a mooch.

            It may seem like it’s easier to be the person who never buys toilet paper, or slyly uses someone else’s laundry detergent like some evil cleaning supply bandit. But ask yourself: do you really want to be the source of a constant headache? Contribute equally and don’t burn bridges. Oftentimes people take a slightly passive aggressive stance with these issues. This is unfortunate and can lead to the whole ordeal getting blown out of proportion. Easy solution: buy your own stuff and don’t be a mooch!

            Have you had a terrible roommate and learned by their mistakes? Post your advice in the comments section below.

            Featured photo credit: neighbor game night by ramsey beyer via flickr.com

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            Robert Parmer

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            Last Updated on June 26, 2019

            13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

            13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

            Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

            Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

            My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

            To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

            You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

            Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

            “I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

            “I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

            “I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

            “I don’t deserve happiness”

            EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

            Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

            Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

            If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways happy people think and feel differently:

            1. Happy People Put Happiness First

            Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

            Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

            To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

            The happy person asks,

            “What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

            “Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

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            They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

            If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

            Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

            If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

            2. Happy People Embrace Pain

            I know what you are thinking –

            “No one is ALWAYS happy”

            or …

            “Even happy people get in bad moods”

            and …

            These statements are absolutely accurate.

            Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

            Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

            Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

            Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

            When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

            3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

            We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

            The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

            How are you currently defining yourself?

            For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

            When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves. When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

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            Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

            Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

            If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

            Take a look at this guide and learn to build positive self-image: How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)

            4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

            The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

            Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

            Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

            They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

            5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

            Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

            However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

            We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

            If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

            What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

            Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

            They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

            What are your triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

            These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions

            6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

            Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

            Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

            Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

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            A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

            A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

            7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

            Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

            Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

            We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

            In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

            8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

            What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

            What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

            Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

            When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

            9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

            Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

            It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

            Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

            Negativity is NOT normal.

            The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

            Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

            In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

            10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

            The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

            They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

            The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, then you can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

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            Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

            If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

            11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

            Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

            Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

            It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

            Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

            12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

            Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

            It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

            Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

            13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment

            When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

            Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

            These tips on How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future maybe helpful for you.

            Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

            In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

            If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

            Final Thoughts

            I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

            It starts with one decision – happiness.

            The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

            Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

            Reference

            [1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

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