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An Open Letter To A Weirdo

An Open Letter To A Weirdo

Dear Weirdo,

Honestly, I had no clue on how to address this letter to you, besides using the first word that came to my mind to describe you, that is, “Weirdo”. That is not something I wish to call you, but, that is what everyone else around us have entitled you to be. You are so different, so weird, so awkwardly peculiar, though that is not a bad thing. It is good to be different, trust me.

I notice how you like loitering around the place, while trying so hard to not attract any sort of attention to you. Though, despite such an effort, it is bad to be constantly picked on by these creepy members of our so-called, ‘crowd’. I have seen them calling you names, grabbing your stuff, trying to draw your attention through all these childish, immature and shameless acts, but, none of that seems to effect you. I have always seen you smiling back at them, talking to them so sweetly and so full of respect, in a tone that could calm a dog with rabies!

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Why are you like this? You very well know that this weird attitude of yours makes them come back to trouble you more. So, why do you do this? It is definitely not worth it. Besides, why are you so distinct? Why don’t you talk to anyone? Why do you always wear that weird cap? And what do you write in your scrap book? I don’t understand any of it. You never reply to texts after reading them, you never give a respond (besides the smile) to anyone who says a ‘hi’, and you openly ghost people.

no-mistake-in-love-letters-for-her

    Ah, though, I am pretty sure that after reading all these questions that I have flooded you with, you probably think I am a stalker. Trust me, I am not. I am just here to… believe it or not… admire the way you are. I like it how easily you get over everything those mean souls say to you. It is utterly commendable how you don’t really mind the way they pick on your hat or grab your stuff to get your attention.

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    Oh, though the best part of it all, I totally appreciate how you wear black despite being called emo or depressed freak throughout the day they see you wearing it. Hey, but there are plenty of other colors in the world, why not try grey for a change? Besides, it won’t look as though you’re wearing the same outfit over and over again, (but, honestly, do you wear the same clothes through the week?)

    Jokes apart… why are you trying to put on a brave face every day? You act like their comments don’t hurt you and continuously beam a bright smile at them. A bright, fake smile… what are your secrets? Why don’t you speak up and put a stop to it? Though, a little advise, Gandhi’s way of living will do no good in a colony like ours. Put your brave face on and scare off those mini Hitlers who trouble you.

    If your weirdness is linked to love – related issues, about not being able to impress your crush, then this could help, or if you’ve already broken up, then this could help. Either way, just trying to let you know that, there is someone out there who cares, so quit being absorbed within your own bubble! (Trust me, I’ll pop it without a care… just to get you out of it).

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    You seem to be wearing a mask to hide all that you feel. We aren’t in a masquerade party, mate, so speak to me, if you would like to if that is something you want or if it helps you feel better.

    Though, you are an inspiration to me, in a very weird way (See, everything about you is weird!). I thought my life was miserable, but, truthfully speaking, you seem to go through situations that are worse than mine and despite it all, at the end of the day, you always seem to have something that puts a smile on your face. No, I don’t mean the smile that you fake in front of the crowd. This is different, this is genuine. The one you have when you have your headphones on and plugged in. What are you listening to?

    Well, if someone worries you, stand up to them, put your meanest expression on and scare them! (It’s better than faking a smile and bearing it all).

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    With Kind Regards and Utter Confusion,

    Me!

    P.S. I have no clue what made me write to you, probably it’s just the you I see in Me.

    Featured photo credit: www.thebridalbox.com via thebridalbox.com

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    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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