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An Open Letter To A Weirdo

An Open Letter To A Weirdo

Dear Weirdo,

Honestly, I had no clue on how to address this letter to you, besides using the first word that came to my mind to describe you, that is, “Weirdo”. That is not something I wish to call you, but, that is what everyone else around us have entitled you to be. You are so different, so weird, so awkwardly peculiar, though that is not a bad thing. It is good to be different, trust me.

I notice how you like loitering around the place, while trying so hard to not attract any sort of attention to you. Though, despite such an effort, it is bad to be constantly picked on by these creepy members of our so-called, ‘crowd’. I have seen them calling you names, grabbing your stuff, trying to draw your attention through all these childish, immature and shameless acts, but, none of that seems to effect you. I have always seen you smiling back at them, talking to them so sweetly and so full of respect, in a tone that could calm a dog with rabies!

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Why are you like this? You very well know that this weird attitude of yours makes them come back to trouble you more. So, why do you do this? It is definitely not worth it. Besides, why are you so distinct? Why don’t you talk to anyone? Why do you always wear that weird cap? And what do you write in your scrap book? I don’t understand any of it. You never reply to texts after reading them, you never give a respond (besides the smile) to anyone who says a ‘hi’, and you openly ghost people.

no-mistake-in-love-letters-for-her

    Ah, though, I am pretty sure that after reading all these questions that I have flooded you with, you probably think I am a stalker. Trust me, I am not. I am just here to… believe it or not… admire the way you are. I like it how easily you get over everything those mean souls say to you. It is utterly commendable how you don’t really mind the way they pick on your hat or grab your stuff to get your attention.

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    Oh, though the best part of it all, I totally appreciate how you wear black despite being called emo or depressed freak throughout the day they see you wearing it. Hey, but there are plenty of other colors in the world, why not try grey for a change? Besides, it won’t look as though you’re wearing the same outfit over and over again, (but, honestly, do you wear the same clothes through the week?)

    Jokes apart… why are you trying to put on a brave face every day? You act like their comments don’t hurt you and continuously beam a bright smile at them. A bright, fake smile… what are your secrets? Why don’t you speak up and put a stop to it? Though, a little advise, Gandhi’s way of living will do no good in a colony like ours. Put your brave face on and scare off those mini Hitlers who trouble you.

    If your weirdness is linked to love – related issues, about not being able to impress your crush, then this could help, or if you’ve already broken up, then this could help. Either way, just trying to let you know that, there is someone out there who cares, so quit being absorbed within your own bubble! (Trust me, I’ll pop it without a care… just to get you out of it).

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    You seem to be wearing a mask to hide all that you feel. We aren’t in a masquerade party, mate, so speak to me, if you would like to if that is something you want or if it helps you feel better.

    Though, you are an inspiration to me, in a very weird way (See, everything about you is weird!). I thought my life was miserable, but, truthfully speaking, you seem to go through situations that are worse than mine and despite it all, at the end of the day, you always seem to have something that puts a smile on your face. No, I don’t mean the smile that you fake in front of the crowd. This is different, this is genuine. The one you have when you have your headphones on and plugged in. What are you listening to?

    Well, if someone worries you, stand up to them, put your meanest expression on and scare them! (It’s better than faking a smile and bearing it all).

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    With Kind Regards and Utter Confusion,

    Me!

    P.S. I have no clue what made me write to you, probably it’s just the you I see in Me.

    Featured photo credit: www.thebridalbox.com via thebridalbox.com

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    Published on October 7, 2019

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

    In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

    Signs of Toxic People

    To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

    Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

    Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

    Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

    We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

    Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

    Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

    Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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    Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

    Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

    We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

    Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

    Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

    Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

    Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

    4 Types of Toxic People

    To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

    1. Conversational Narcissist

    There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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    2. Emotional Vampires

    These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

    3. Monsters with Green eyes

    As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

    4. Black-Eyed Cats

    These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

    If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

    How to Deal with Toxic People

    Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

    However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

    Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

    We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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    B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

    Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

    You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

    Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

    Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

    If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

    Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

    Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

    Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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    Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

    Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

    We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

    Don’t Suppress Yourself

    Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

    Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

    Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

    So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

    Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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