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If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

It’s hard to know what makes a mother strong. It may due to her innate nature, the way she was brought up, or the fact that she has had to overcome certain obstacles in her life.  Whatever the cause, a strong mother should be cherished and never hurt.

People’s perceptions of strong mothers

A strong mother cannot be easily blown around by the trials that children and husbands may present. This ability to stay firm despite what is happening around can be misinterpreted as a lack of empathy. It is sometimes assumed that because a mother has strength she does not have the ability to compassionately understand her kids or her husband. It may look like a firm mother has a stoic approach to life, but this is not necessarily the case.

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A mother’s power may come from her ability to feel intensely about her children. He knack for being in tune with their fears, sorrows and mishaps gives her the ‘fuel’ she needs to be tough for her kids. Often she understands that what her kids need whether they are upset or happy is a firm guiding presence. So rather than lacking insight into her kids’ feelings a strong mother sees and feels what her kids are experiencing and reacts with a strength that helps them through both happy and difficult situations.

Strong mothers and their relationship with their daughters

It is sometimes assumed that strong mothers will clash with their daughters. This, however, is not necessarily the case. A mother with true power knows how to guide her daughter and steer her in a direction that is positive and good without being confrontational or pushy. A mother with inner strength respects the boundaries between her and her daughter and knows how to give her daughter the space she needs to grow into a self-contained and independent person.

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A strong mother can have a big influence over the mindset, beliefs and inner character of their daughter. Daughters often revere and look up to their mother when she has a solid presence. They feel that she is someone who will always be stable for them. A daughter’s respect for her firm mother means that she often wants to copy or imitate her mother’s behavior. She may also want to please a mother as she longs for her approval and kind words. This means that the mother is in a position where what she does and says can have a direct effect on her daughter’s behavior.

If a mother with strength believes in certain values such as honesty, trust and respect then it is likely that her daughter will internalize theses values and they will become a part of who she is. If the mother believes, for example, that you should always ‘do to others as you would have them do to you’, and she projects this message with power and conviction then her daughter is likely to approach life with this moral in mind.

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A strong mother’s love for her daughters

When a mother is constantly strong she is normally driven by a deep love for her daughters. It is the profound depth of this love that keeps her steady and firm. She is powerful because she knows that her daughter needs her to be a solid rock that she can count on day in and day out. However, if a mother with presence feels that her daughter misunderstands her good intentions she can become fragile and withdrawn.

How strong mothers relate to their daughters’ daily struggles

Often daughters have trouble with their girlfriends at school. Girls can tend to be ‘bitchy’ to one another and this can leave often leave someone in tears. When it is the daughter of a firm mother who is at the receiving end of a mean friend then she acts swiftly and effectively. She is able to sit with her daughter and give her the tools she needs in order to confront her friend. She can help her daughter to be strong like her and stand up for herself in the playground.

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At some point daughters often go through a period of not liking their body’s and the way they look in general. A mother with presence will not stand for a daughter who is critical of the way she looks. A strong mother will teach her daughter how to build up her strength on the inside and to focus less on her external ‘package’. She will teach her daughter that if she has a good inner sense of self her external self will glow.

A strong mother is something to value and appreciate. It is a privilege for a child to grow up in a house where there is a formidable female figure. Daughters in particular should not take a mother with strength for granted and should always try to gratify her and not hurt her.

Featured photo credit: The Life Square via thelifesquare.com

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future. Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

Bonus: Think Like a Rhino

More Tips for Procrastinators to Start Taking Action

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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