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If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

It’s hard to know what makes a mother strong. It may due to her innate nature, the way she was brought up, or the fact that she has had to overcome certain obstacles in her life.  Whatever the cause, a strong mother should be cherished and never hurt.

People’s perceptions of strong mothers

A strong mother cannot be easily blown around by the trials that children and husbands may present. This ability to stay firm despite what is happening around can be misinterpreted as a lack of empathy. It is sometimes assumed that because a mother has strength she does not have the ability to compassionately understand her kids or her husband. It may look like a firm mother has a stoic approach to life, but this is not necessarily the case.

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A mother’s power may come from her ability to feel intensely about her children. He knack for being in tune with their fears, sorrows and mishaps gives her the ‘fuel’ she needs to be tough for her kids. Often she understands that what her kids need whether they are upset or happy is a firm guiding presence. So rather than lacking insight into her kids’ feelings a strong mother sees and feels what her kids are experiencing and reacts with a strength that helps them through both happy and difficult situations.

Strong mothers and their relationship with their daughters

It is sometimes assumed that strong mothers will clash with their daughters. This, however, is not necessarily the case. A mother with true power knows how to guide her daughter and steer her in a direction that is positive and good without being confrontational or pushy. A mother with inner strength respects the boundaries between her and her daughter and knows how to give her daughter the space she needs to grow into a self-contained and independent person.

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A strong mother can have a big influence over the mindset, beliefs and inner character of their daughter. Daughters often revere and look up to their mother when she has a solid presence. They feel that she is someone who will always be stable for them. A daughter’s respect for her firm mother means that she often wants to copy or imitate her mother’s behavior. She may also want to please a mother as she longs for her approval and kind words. This means that the mother is in a position where what she does and says can have a direct effect on her daughter’s behavior.

If a mother with strength believes in certain values such as honesty, trust and respect then it is likely that her daughter will internalize theses values and they will become a part of who she is. If the mother believes, for example, that you should always ‘do to others as you would have them do to you’, and she projects this message with power and conviction then her daughter is likely to approach life with this moral in mind.

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A strong mother’s love for her daughters

When a mother is constantly strong she is normally driven by a deep love for her daughters. It is the profound depth of this love that keeps her steady and firm. She is powerful because she knows that her daughter needs her to be a solid rock that she can count on day in and day out. However, if a mother with presence feels that her daughter misunderstands her good intentions she can become fragile and withdrawn.

How strong mothers relate to their daughters’ daily struggles

Often daughters have trouble with their girlfriends at school. Girls can tend to be ‘bitchy’ to one another and this can leave often leave someone in tears. When it is the daughter of a firm mother who is at the receiving end of a mean friend then she acts swiftly and effectively. She is able to sit with her daughter and give her the tools she needs in order to confront her friend. She can help her daughter to be strong like her and stand up for herself in the playground.

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At some point daughters often go through a period of not liking their body’s and the way they look in general. A mother with presence will not stand for a daughter who is critical of the way she looks. A strong mother will teach her daughter how to build up her strength on the inside and to focus less on her external ‘package’. She will teach her daughter that if she has a good inner sense of self her external self will glow.

A strong mother is something to value and appreciate. It is a privilege for a child to grow up in a house where there is a formidable female figure. Daughters in particular should not take a mother with strength for granted and should always try to gratify her and not hurt her.

Featured photo credit: The Life Square via thelifesquare.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck?

Let me let you into a secret:

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky.

1. Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside your self.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

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Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can.

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No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

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They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

To improve your fortune, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to you; then try focusing on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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