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If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

If You Have A Strong Mom, Never Hurt Her

It’s hard to know what makes a mother strong. It may due to her innate nature, the way she was brought up, or the fact that she has had to overcome certain obstacles in her life.  Whatever the cause, a strong mother should be cherished and never hurt.

People’s perceptions of strong mothers

A strong mother cannot be easily blown around by the trials that children and husbands may present. This ability to stay firm despite what is happening around can be misinterpreted as a lack of empathy. It is sometimes assumed that because a mother has strength she does not have the ability to compassionately understand her kids or her husband. It may look like a firm mother has a stoic approach to life, but this is not necessarily the case.

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A mother’s power may come from her ability to feel intensely about her children. He knack for being in tune with their fears, sorrows and mishaps gives her the ‘fuel’ she needs to be tough for her kids. Often she understands that what her kids need whether they are upset or happy is a firm guiding presence. So rather than lacking insight into her kids’ feelings a strong mother sees and feels what her kids are experiencing and reacts with a strength that helps them through both happy and difficult situations.

Strong mothers and their relationship with their daughters

It is sometimes assumed that strong mothers will clash with their daughters. This, however, is not necessarily the case. A mother with true power knows how to guide her daughter and steer her in a direction that is positive and good without being confrontational or pushy. A mother with inner strength respects the boundaries between her and her daughter and knows how to give her daughter the space she needs to grow into a self-contained and independent person.

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A strong mother can have a big influence over the mindset, beliefs and inner character of their daughter. Daughters often revere and look up to their mother when she has a solid presence. They feel that she is someone who will always be stable for them. A daughter’s respect for her firm mother means that she often wants to copy or imitate her mother’s behavior. She may also want to please a mother as she longs for her approval and kind words. This means that the mother is in a position where what she does and says can have a direct effect on her daughter’s behavior.

If a mother with strength believes in certain values such as honesty, trust and respect then it is likely that her daughter will internalize theses values and they will become a part of who she is. If the mother believes, for example, that you should always ‘do to others as you would have them do to you’, and she projects this message with power and conviction then her daughter is likely to approach life with this moral in mind.

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A strong mother’s love for her daughters

When a mother is constantly strong she is normally driven by a deep love for her daughters. It is the profound depth of this love that keeps her steady and firm. She is powerful because she knows that her daughter needs her to be a solid rock that she can count on day in and day out. However, if a mother with presence feels that her daughter misunderstands her good intentions she can become fragile and withdrawn.

How strong mothers relate to their daughters’ daily struggles

Often daughters have trouble with their girlfriends at school. Girls can tend to be ‘bitchy’ to one another and this can leave often leave someone in tears. When it is the daughter of a firm mother who is at the receiving end of a mean friend then she acts swiftly and effectively. She is able to sit with her daughter and give her the tools she needs in order to confront her friend. She can help her daughter to be strong like her and stand up for herself in the playground.

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At some point daughters often go through a period of not liking their body’s and the way they look in general. A mother with presence will not stand for a daughter who is critical of the way she looks. A strong mother will teach her daughter how to build up her strength on the inside and to focus less on her external ‘package’. She will teach her daughter that if she has a good inner sense of self her external self will glow.

A strong mother is something to value and appreciate. It is a privilege for a child to grow up in a house where there is a formidable female figure. Daughters in particular should not take a mother with strength for granted and should always try to gratify her and not hurt her.

Featured photo credit: The Life Square via thelifesquare.com

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on August 13, 2020

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

As a mediation teacher, I am constantly confronted with these two questions regarding the benefits of meditation:

1. Why can’t I enjoy the benefits of meditation continuously?

I ask back: Is it maybe because you see mediation as a technique, performance, or some exclusive activity? The answer is: yes!

Or, because your mind is constantly evolving on the past negative attachments and traditional habits? After careful thinking they answer: yes, probably!

Although meditation is very simple and challenging at the same time, in the above mentioned case, it’s not easy to benefit from meditation, especially when approached with the idea that it has to be learned, studied, or applied. Meditation is to be seen as a natural, mental cleansing process that happens on a basis of awareness on a moment-to-moment experience. When that takes place, the benefits of meditation are continuous.

2. What is the purpose of meditation?

The purpose of meditation is to accomplish a level of consciousness for mastering the mind and uniting with the finest, deepest, and subtlest part of yourself as a being.

It is a conscious process of observation of the mind—helping the meditator to understand the structure of its mind and the quality of its content. During this process, countless benefits of a physical, mental, and spiritual/philosophical nature arise for the meditator.

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Meditation as a Fixer and Benefactor

In this article we’ll have a look at the primary and the ultimate benefits of mediation, which improve your body and mind at the same time. For the sake of clarity, readability, and tangible experience, I have separated the benefits into three groups.

You can change just about anything you don’t like about yourself (psychologically, as well as physically) through meditation. However, this is only possible with a specific approach, when your brain allows the benefits of meditation to do their work.

This means not to interrupt the benefit with other thoughts, but to let their effect implement itself in your body and mind. This approach is crucial.

The following exercises will make you feel the benefits of meditation instantly, but the continuity of the benefits of meditation on your body and mind depend on the discipline of your brain, how you manage external stimuli and your thoughts.

Less Physical, More Psychological

Even though the practice of meditation is more psychological and less physical, the first benefit we’re going to experience is both physical as well as mental.

This benefit happens literally immediately, right at the moment of meditation. It is the essence of mediation basically.

The First Benefit of Meditation

The first benefit of meditation is twofold:

  1. Improving inward attention (sharpening the mind)
  2. Relaxation of the body

Let’s do it right now. This benefit consists of only one step, and it is very simple to perform. It goes like this:

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Sit still and pay attention to your exhalation.

That’s it! Technically, the whole journey into the world of mediation begins here and nowhere else. And right here, you benefit from this step in the following way:

When you pay attention to the flow of your exhalation (gentle, deep, effortless exhalation), your body begins with the process of relaxation instantly (your heart rate slows down, your nervous system calms, and tension in your muscles is relieved).

When the nervous system calms, your mind calms down, and, more specifically, less thoughts are produced by your mind. How, exactly? By applying one of the most valuable mental skills—attention—the mind follows the breathing and has no space and time to generate any other thoughts. Only when the attention goes off the breath, other thoughts are constructed, and the mind is accelerating with thought production again.

Keeping the First Benefit Effective and Ongoing

Here you apply the approach of not letting the relaxation and attention process get interrupted; rather let the effects of these benefits implant in your body and mind as deeply as possible.

This is to say, the instant relaxation and inward attention happen at the same time when you follow the flow of your breath. Repeating this process—creating a constant rhythm out of the breathing and the attention—you create a process of meditation.

Keep your attention on the flow of your breath and see how the calmness of body and mind begin to rule your present moment. The longer you stay connected to your breathing, the stronger you’ll feel the benefit. Start with 3-5 minutes at a time without doing anything else, and increase to 10-20 minutes and onwards.

Can you think of a better, simpler and quicker exercise that can relax the body and improve attention in this way, at this speed?

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This benefit takes you to the second one.

The Second Benefit of Meditation

While still working with the first benefit of mediation, you slowly start to see the second benefit of mediation, which is fourfold. I call it the major value of mediation:

  1. Energy (physical and mental strength)
  2. Observance
  3. Peacefulness (stillness, and space of mind for deeper observation)
  4. Patience

Peacefulness is the source of a blissful life. The energy is the fuel to express that blissfulness. Whatever we want to accomplish in life we need: 1) Physical and mental strength, 2) Observance of that energy, 3) Peacefulness—the calmness and stillness that creates space for freedom of being and creative thinking, and 4) Patience for the process of accomplishment.

You can only get creative in thinking and boosted with physical and mental energy when you get in touch with the deepest levels of yourself—when you harmonize your mental and physiological activities. How do you do that? Let’s try it right now:

This step involves the observation of the two separate movements of your breath. After paying attention on your exhalation, you have prepared your body and mind to really see and feel what true peacefulness and true energy means.

1. Energy

Keep your attention on your inhalation (inhaling gently, deeply and lightly) and feel the new energy (new oxygen) flowing in your body. The inhalation is the symbol for aliveness and vitality. It is the the primary act that connects the baby’s body with the outside world after coming out of the womb[1]. Each inhalation is a new opportunity for your body to revive, regenerate, and renew itself.

2. Observance

The observance comes during the process of meditation, enabling you to see the physiological benefits of introducing new energy to your body. Use that benefit by utilizing its effects, and create deeper observation into yourself. With every single inhalation, this observation will enable you to generate even more energy, mentally and physically.

3. Peacefulness

Keep your attention on your exhalation, and feel how, out of the relaxation, peacefulness is spreading throughout your whole body. The exhalation is the symbol for relaxation and peacefulness. Only through meditation can you realize what absolute peacefulness means.

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4. Patience

The meditation delivers the previous benefits to you immediately and opens up the possibility for many other benefits and great virtues. A specific one to mention, which is essential for reaching the ultimate benefits of meditation, is patience. If you have experienced the aforementioned benefits, it means that you have invested a certain amount of patience into mastering yourself and your mind.

The Ultimate Benefits of Meditation

Patience is a key quality when it comes to the ultimate benefits of meditation.

Since the mind is the tool that reveals everything, mediation is the method for the proper utility of the tool.

The above mentioned benefits of mediation lead to the ultimate benefits of mediation—qualities that depict what makes a human being human. As you dwell in a meditative state of being, the following benefits begin to emanate:

  • Diligence: the persistence for righteous effort to reach an intrinsic value; inner strength.
  • Temperance: to express self-control and show excellence in managing the physio-biological and mental necessities
  • Courage: using righteous effort and braveness to look into the weaknesses of yourself and at the hardship of your life, endure it and patiently overcome the obstacles
  • Loving kindness and Compassion – a capacity to care, understand, and tolerate other people’s state of being, wishing them freedom from suffering.
  • Wisdom: the moment when you feel that mediation gives you the feeling and the knowledge that what you do relating to life and practical affairs is just.
  • Equanimity: that puts you in a state of composure, and you experience an ongoing blissful state of being.

These are the 6 ultimate benefits of meditation that put your body and mind in a state of health and balance.

Final Thoughts

Mediation exists to put order in your mind and awaken the best of you, to reconnect you to your goodness and your inborn intelligent capabilities.

Meditation is the window to your true Self. It gives you a panoramic view of your heart’s greatness. It shows you the true meaning of love, freeing you from the dungeons of ignorance and despair. The power of meditation dismantles the evil that’s trying to cloud the beauty of your heart.

Your heart, body, and soul are the bridge over which the challenges of life frequently carry their heavy load. Meditation is the support of that bridge. Make use of that support.

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Featured photo credit: Mor Shani via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medline Plus: Changes in the newborn at birth

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