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If You’ve Found a Nerd, Congratulations!

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If You’ve Found a Nerd, Congratulations!

If you find you are looking at someone close to you and noticing that they are a bit of a nerd, then you may just be in luck. Having a nerd to love and rely on may be the best thing that has happened to you in a long time. Nerds are often given a bad rap but there is much more to nerds that you may give credit to.

Nerds can be socially awkward as they tend to shy away from situations that demand a socially outgoing presence. Nerdy people sometimes speak about things that you may not be able to relate to and this may make you view them as eccentric and difficult to talk to. Nerds are not always interested in trendy fashion or the latest gossip and this can sometimes cause you to believe that they are not exciting. But, there is more than meets the eye.

They’re so clever

Often nerds are so clever that it causes them to think and see things differently. You may approach a problem or a situation in a direct and straight forward manner, but a nerd will think outside the box and come up with creative solutions and ideas. Their ability to find answers to problems you thought you would never solve will leave you admiring their ingenuity.

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They have a quirky perspective

The quirkiness of nerds gives them a unique perspective on things, people and situations. They may leave you wondering: Why did I never notice that before? They can open your eyes to a whole new world.

They have crazy imagination

Nerds are highly imaginative. They will often blow you away with their imagination and leave you wondering: How did they think of that? You will marvel at the scenes and scenarios they create in their heads.

They’re resourceful.

Nerds know how to make the most of the materials and resources they have at their disposal and may surprise you with their shrewdness. They may come up with wacky inventions from things they have lying around the house and this will leave you laughing and amazed.

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They don’t follow social standards

Nerds do not conform to societal standards and as such can be candid in their approach to life. When you get to know a nerd you appreciate their sincerity and truthfulness. In an age when there is a lot of pretense a nerd can bring a refreshing frankness to a situation or conversation. It is a great thing to have someone around how you know is going to tell you the truth; no matter what!

They influence you a lot

Nerds can have a very positive influence on you. Nerds can teach you how to be true to yourself and how not to be overly influenced by external pressures and demands. You can learn from a nerd’s quirkiness. You can learn to see your nerd’s eccentricity as an asset and, as such, see the value in your own quirks and idiosyncrasies. By observing how a nerd relates to others with honesty and openness, you can internalize and practice these virtues.

They can enjoy themselves

A nerd may decide to go to a coffee shop by themselves. Sometimes they may not feel like talking to anyone and as such prefer their own company. This can be a very refreshing and rewarding experience as they do not have the pressure of keeping up with conversation or making a good impression. They can simply sit and enjoy their coffee while taking in their pleasant surroundings.

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They’re enthusiastic

At work a nerd might volunteer to take on a new project. They may have many exciting and unique ideas that they believe will make the project great. Their enthusiasm and ingenious way of looking at things will most likely be well received by their boss.

Often a nerd will take time out of their busy schedule to be attentive to other people’s needs. They may on impulse decide to take you out to a movie one evening. Nerds can be surprising with their spontaneity and generosity.

If you are fortunate enough to have a nerd in your life, then keep them close. They are a rare find and it is worth holding on to them.

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Featured photo credit: assets entrepreneur via assets.entrepreneur.com

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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