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If You’ve Found a Nerd, Congratulations!

If You’ve Found a Nerd, Congratulations!

If you find you are looking at someone close to you and noticing that they are a bit of a nerd, then you may just be in luck. Having a nerd to love and rely on may be the best thing that has happened to you in a long time. Nerds are often given a bad rap but there is much more to nerds that you may give credit to.

Nerds can be socially awkward as they tend to shy away from situations that demand a socially outgoing presence. Nerdy people sometimes speak about things that you may not be able to relate to and this may make you view them as eccentric and difficult to talk to. Nerds are not always interested in trendy fashion or the latest gossip and this can sometimes cause you to believe that they are not exciting. But, there is more than meets the eye.

They’re so clever

Often nerds are so clever that it causes them to think and see things differently. You may approach a problem or a situation in a direct and straight forward manner, but a nerd will think outside the box and come up with creative solutions and ideas. Their ability to find answers to problems you thought you would never solve will leave you admiring their ingenuity.

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They have a quirky perspective

The quirkiness of nerds gives them a unique perspective on things, people and situations. They may leave you wondering: Why did I never notice that before? They can open your eyes to a whole new world.

They have crazy imagination

Nerds are highly imaginative. They will often blow you away with their imagination and leave you wondering: How did they think of that? You will marvel at the scenes and scenarios they create in their heads.

They’re resourceful.

Nerds know how to make the most of the materials and resources they have at their disposal and may surprise you with their shrewdness. They may come up with wacky inventions from things they have lying around the house and this will leave you laughing and amazed.

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They don’t follow social standards

Nerds do not conform to societal standards and as such can be candid in their approach to life. When you get to know a nerd you appreciate their sincerity and truthfulness. In an age when there is a lot of pretense a nerd can bring a refreshing frankness to a situation or conversation. It is a great thing to have someone around how you know is going to tell you the truth; no matter what!

They influence you a lot

Nerds can have a very positive influence on you. Nerds can teach you how to be true to yourself and how not to be overly influenced by external pressures and demands. You can learn from a nerd’s quirkiness. You can learn to see your nerd’s eccentricity as an asset and, as such, see the value in your own quirks and idiosyncrasies. By observing how a nerd relates to others with honesty and openness, you can internalize and practice these virtues.

They can enjoy themselves

A nerd may decide to go to a coffee shop by themselves. Sometimes they may not feel like talking to anyone and as such prefer their own company. This can be a very refreshing and rewarding experience as they do not have the pressure of keeping up with conversation or making a good impression. They can simply sit and enjoy their coffee while taking in their pleasant surroundings.

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They’re enthusiastic

At work a nerd might volunteer to take on a new project. They may have many exciting and unique ideas that they believe will make the project great. Their enthusiasm and ingenious way of looking at things will most likely be well received by their boss.

Often a nerd will take time out of their busy schedule to be attentive to other people’s needs. They may on impulse decide to take you out to a movie one evening. Nerds can be surprising with their spontaneity and generosity.

If you are fortunate enough to have a nerd in your life, then keep them close. They are a rare find and it is worth holding on to them.

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Featured photo credit: assets entrepreneur via assets.entrepreneur.com

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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