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8 Things That People Who Can’t Stop Talking To Themselves Can Highly Relate To

8 Things That People Who Can’t Stop Talking To Themselves Can Highly Relate To

Often you want to push yourself to be more productive. You want to stop talking to yourself sometimes. You want a quiet mind. But it’s extremely hard. Thoughts pop out here and there, related to past, present and future.

“Oh you look great today, what happened to you last night?” I said to myself in the morning.

“What a sunny day! What if I can be one of the clouds and float in the blue sky?” I asked myself.

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Though sometimes such behavior is non-controllable. There’re advantages too. One of them is that it makes me feel calm.

Below are the reasons it happens a lot, how it helps, the struggles we encounter.

1. Memories and relationships are of particular importance.

You value memories of good times and positive relationship that you have in your life. You hold these things dear and do not take them for granted. You often find it pleasing to think about memories you have of recent events or conversations you have shared with friends and family. As memories and relationships are very important to you, you value keeping these alive and fresh in your mind. By saying things out loud you are able to remember the event or person more vividly and this helps you to clearly reminisceov about pleasant times and positive connections.

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2. You mind works non-stop; you constantly have new ideas and thoughts.

Your mind is on constant overdrive. Your thoughts run around your head like a whirl wind. By verbalizing some of these ideas you are able to slow your thoughts down a bit and focus on one thing at a time. Hearing what you are thinking makes things clearer and easier to decipher.

3. You’re a drama queen; you play out dramatic scenarios in your mind.

You experienced lots of drama running through your mind, which you yourself create. You’re the one who writes the script, directs the action, starts in the show and acts as the audience. By controlling all of the elements you can create your reality as you would like it to be. Talking to yourself makes your personal dramatic ‘play’ all the more real. Once more you are also your own audience; always attentive.

4. You have a consultant in your head.

You always have someone who you can consult; yourself. You are always present and able to provide yourself with feedback and advice. By speaking to yourself out loud you can internalize your issues and problems better and as such can be a better consultant. The advice you have to offer yourself can be more pointed when you respond to information that is verbalized.

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5. You experience memory lapse.

memory loss

    You often find yourself drifting off in conversation and can forget what others have said. When people are having a discussion your mind is sometimes off in other places processing a lot of other information. You find it hard to stay focused and pay attention to what is happening around you. Often you are conversing with yourself and this distracts you from what is going on around you.

    6. You self-reflect a lot.

    You like to reflect on qualities you hold and attributes that you would like to possess. You can at times be critical when you see things in yourself that you do not like but you also like to praise yourself when you feel that you are doing well. By talking out loud it helps you internalize things you notice about yourself. Being able to hear what you think about attributes you possess and characteristics you would like to have makes it easier for you to come to terms with these things.

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    7. Your empathy can hurt you sometimes.

    As you’re very empathetic and sometimes you find yourself overly sad when you see other people struggling or in pain. You find it difficult to get out of this sad place even if nothing has directly happened to you. You sometimes see that it is useful to talk to yourself through painful experiences. You find it comforting to hear your own voice and can often sooth yourself through self talk.

    8. You have lots of fantastic or strange ideas that can stun people around you.

    You have a lot of radical and fantastic ideas that can often shock your friends and family. You think outside the box and this can sometimes surprise others. At times you find it best to run your extreme ideas past yourself before revealing them to others. You like to see how these ideas sound when you say them out loud. If they appear to be too out there you sometimes decide it is best to keep them to yourself.

    Talking to yourself is a unique trait that is sometimes misunderstood, but in actual fact it can be a very useful and reassuring virtue.

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    Rebecca Beris

    Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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    Last Updated on August 6, 2020

    6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

    6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

    We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

    “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

    Are we speaking the same language?

    My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

    When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

    Am I being lazy?

    When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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    Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

    Early in the relationship:

    “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

    When the relationship is established:

    “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

    It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

    Have I actually got anything to say?

    When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

    A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

    When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

    Am I painting an accurate picture?

    One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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    How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

    Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

    What words am I using?

    It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

    Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

    Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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    Is the map really the territory?

    Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

    A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

    I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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