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8 Things That People Who Can’t Stop Talking To Themselves Can Highly Relate To

8 Things That People Who Can’t Stop Talking To Themselves Can Highly Relate To

Often you want to push yourself to be more productive. You want to stop talking to yourself sometimes. You want a quiet mind. But it’s extremely hard. Thoughts pop out here and there, related to past, present and future.

“Oh you look great today, what happened to you last night?” I said to myself in the morning.

“What a sunny day! What if I can be one of the clouds and float in the blue sky?” I asked myself.

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Though sometimes such behavior is non-controllable. There’re advantages too. One of them is that it makes me feel calm.

Below are the reasons it happens a lot, how it helps, the struggles we encounter.

1. Memories and relationships are of particular importance.

You value memories of good times and positive relationship that you have in your life. You hold these things dear and do not take them for granted. You often find it pleasing to think about memories you have of recent events or conversations you have shared with friends and family. As memories and relationships are very important to you, you value keeping these alive and fresh in your mind. By saying things out loud you are able to remember the event or person more vividly and this helps you to clearly reminisceov about pleasant times and positive connections.

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2. You mind works non-stop; you constantly have new ideas and thoughts.

Your mind is on constant overdrive. Your thoughts run around your head like a whirl wind. By verbalizing some of these ideas you are able to slow your thoughts down a bit and focus on one thing at a time. Hearing what you are thinking makes things clearer and easier to decipher.

3. You’re a drama queen; you play out dramatic scenarios in your mind.

You experienced lots of drama running through your mind, which you yourself create. You’re the one who writes the script, directs the action, starts in the show and acts as the audience. By controlling all of the elements you can create your reality as you would like it to be. Talking to yourself makes your personal dramatic ‘play’ all the more real. Once more you are also your own audience; always attentive.

4. You have a consultant in your head.

You always have someone who you can consult; yourself. You are always present and able to provide yourself with feedback and advice. By speaking to yourself out loud you can internalize your issues and problems better and as such can be a better consultant. The advice you have to offer yourself can be more pointed when you respond to information that is verbalized.

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5. You experience memory lapse.

memory loss

    You often find yourself drifting off in conversation and can forget what others have said. When people are having a discussion your mind is sometimes off in other places processing a lot of other information. You find it hard to stay focused and pay attention to what is happening around you. Often you are conversing with yourself and this distracts you from what is going on around you.

    6. You self-reflect a lot.

    You like to reflect on qualities you hold and attributes that you would like to possess. You can at times be critical when you see things in yourself that you do not like but you also like to praise yourself when you feel that you are doing well. By talking out loud it helps you internalize things you notice about yourself. Being able to hear what you think about attributes you possess and characteristics you would like to have makes it easier for you to come to terms with these things.

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    7. Your empathy can hurt you sometimes.

    As you’re very empathetic and sometimes you find yourself overly sad when you see other people struggling or in pain. You find it difficult to get out of this sad place even if nothing has directly happened to you. You sometimes see that it is useful to talk to yourself through painful experiences. You find it comforting to hear your own voice and can often sooth yourself through self talk.

    8. You have lots of fantastic or strange ideas that can stun people around you.

    You have a lot of radical and fantastic ideas that can often shock your friends and family. You think outside the box and this can sometimes surprise others. At times you find it best to run your extreme ideas past yourself before revealing them to others. You like to see how these ideas sound when you say them out loud. If they appear to be too out there you sometimes decide it is best to keep them to yourself.

    Talking to yourself is a unique trait that is sometimes misunderstood, but in actual fact it can be a very useful and reassuring virtue.

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    Rebecca Beris

    Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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    Last Updated on October 13, 2020

    12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

    12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

    Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

    We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

    1. Compare Yourself to Others

    People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

    In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

    Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

    2. Be Mean-Spirited

    People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

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    If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

    3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

    Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

    Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

    People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

    If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

    4. Dwell on Failure

    It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

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    People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

    For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

    Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

    5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

    People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

    Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

    6. Try to Please Others

    They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

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    7. Close Yourself off

    Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

    As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

    You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

    8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

    People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

    9. Fish for Compliments

    If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

    You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

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    10. Be Lazy

    People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

    This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

    11. Shy Away from Risks

    When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

    12. Gossip

    People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

    Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

    The Bottom Line

    Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

    If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

    More Tips on Building Confidence

    Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
    [2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
    [3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

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