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48 Men Tell Us Things They’ve Been Hearing Too Much In Their Lives

48 Men Tell Us Things They’ve Been Hearing Too Much In Their Lives

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    As feminists gain more and more rights for women, and as minorities fight tooth and nail for equality, it is easy to ignore the pain and shame most men endure as they grow up. Fortunately, these 48 men were brave enough to tell Huffington Post exactly what cruel, cutting phrases they hear too much. Here are the lessons they shared with us:

    1. Toys should never be gender-specific.

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      2. Colors, neither.

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        3. Everyone has the right to show his or her emotions.

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          4. Strength is important ― but there is more to a person than how much he or she can lift.

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            5. Any fist can hurt, no matter who that fist belongs to — but words can hurt more.

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              6. This should be a compliment, not an insult.

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                7. Asking questions should be informative, not insensitive and cruel.

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                  8. No one should be subjected to such tactless peer pressure.

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                    9. Because there is more to life.

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                      10. Giving and receiving love from one’s mother should be cherished, not scorned.

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                        11. Just as women come in all shapes and sizes, men don’t conform to a single body type.

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                          12. Hair (or lack thereof) does not determine a person’s worth.

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                            13. It is bad enough reducing a woman to body parts, but forcing men into one of two groups is painful.

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                              14. Having sex is an inherently personal choice, not a marker of social success.

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                                15. In fact, nice guys usually lead the happiest and most fulfilling lives.

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                                  16. Your dating style is determined by your personality (and maybe your sign), not what others tell you.

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                                    17. Gender is no excuse for bad behavior.

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                                      18. Everyone knows the brightly colored drinks are the tastiest.

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                                        19. It is shameful that finding a caring and compex man is a source of surprise.

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                                          20. Again, comparing a man to a woman as an insult is inappropriate.

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                                            21. Enforcing heteronormative roles is naïve and insenstive.

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                                              22. What happened to ‘size doesn’t matter?’

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                                                23. Only you and your partner have the right to an opinion regarding your sexual encounter.

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                                                  24. This is ignorant.

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                                                    25. This is malicious on so many levels.

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                                                      26. As if your girlfiend can’t decide for herself whom she can speak with.

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                                                        27. Violence is never, never, appropriate, and violence never, never, shows your worth.

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                                                          28. This term is offensive to anyone, no matter your gender.

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                                                            29. The history of this insult is much more brutal than you might know.

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                                                              30. Does anyone actually know what this means?

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                                                                31. Face it: Everyone loves Adele, and no one should be abused for it.

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                                                                  32. It’s unreasonable to assume that anyone could keep a dry eye during ‘Up.’

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                                                                    33. Because free speech applies to everyone, even women in relationships.

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                                                                      34. The power structure of relationships has changed, but some people don’t understand.

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                                                                        35. As women enter traditionally male careers, men move into traditionally female positions. It’s good for everyone.

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                                                                          36. This is insulting no matter who you are or what you do.

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                                                                            37. Why should a person be foced to abandon his or her identity if he or she doesn’t want to?

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                                                                              38. Salary is important — only insofar as it provides shelter, food, and comfort, not prestige.

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                                                                                39. Nothing should be able to take away a person’s confidence.

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                                                                                  40. It’s a choice. And no one can judge.

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                                                                                    41. Dancing is a human desire, not a gendered one.

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                                                                                      42. It is dangerous to set such negative expectations on an entire gender.

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                                                                                        43. Most times, possessions are just possessions.

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                                                                                          44. Fatherly protection should only extend so far.

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                                                                                            45. In fact, there are more prolific male chefs than female chefs.

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                                                                                              46. Both people wear the pants, because everyone can wear whatever he or she wants.

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                                                                                                47. Everyone gets older; it’s nothing to be ashamed about.

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                                                                                                  48. That time is the past, present, and future. Men will always be men, no matter how they act, what they like, or why they make their choices.

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                                                                                                    Featured photo credit: Huffington Post via youtube.com

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                                                                                                    Last Updated on November 15, 2018

                                                                                                    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

                                                                                                    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

                                                                                                    What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

                                                                                                    As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

                                                                                                    The Success Mindset

                                                                                                    Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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                                                                                                    The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

                                                                                                    The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

                                                                                                    The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

                                                                                                    How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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                                                                                                    How To Create a Success Mindset

                                                                                                    People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

                                                                                                    1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

                                                                                                    How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

                                                                                                    A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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                                                                                                    There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

                                                                                                    2. Look For The Successes

                                                                                                    It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

                                                                                                    3. Eliminate Negativity

                                                                                                    You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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                                                                                                    When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

                                                                                                    4. Create a Vision

                                                                                                    Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

                                                                                                    If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

                                                                                                    An Inspirational Story…

                                                                                                    For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

                                                                                                    What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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