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48 Men Tell Us Things They’ve Been Hearing Too Much In Their Lives

48 Men Tell Us Things They’ve Been Hearing Too Much In Their Lives

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    As feminists gain more and more rights for women, and as minorities fight tooth and nail for equality, it is easy to ignore the pain and shame most men endure as they grow up. Fortunately, these 48 men were brave enough to tell Huffington Post exactly what cruel, cutting phrases they hear too much. Here are the lessons they shared with us:

    1. Toys should never be gender-specific.

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      2. Colors, neither.

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        3. Everyone has the right to show his or her emotions.

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          4. Strength is important ― but there is more to a person than how much he or she can lift.

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            5. Any fist can hurt, no matter who that fist belongs to — but words can hurt more.

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              6. This should be a compliment, not an insult.

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                7. Asking questions should be informative, not insensitive and cruel.

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                  8. No one should be subjected to such tactless peer pressure.

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                    9. Because there is more to life.

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                      10. Giving and receiving love from one’s mother should be cherished, not scorned.

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                        11. Just as women come in all shapes and sizes, men don’t conform to a single body type.

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                          12. Hair (or lack thereof) does not determine a person’s worth.

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                            13. It is bad enough reducing a woman to body parts, but forcing men into one of two groups is painful.

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                              14. Having sex is an inherently personal choice, not a marker of social success.

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                                15. In fact, nice guys usually lead the happiest and most fulfilling lives.

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                                  16. Your dating style is determined by your personality (and maybe your sign), not what others tell you.

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                                    17. Gender is no excuse for bad behavior.

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                                      18. Everyone knows the brightly colored drinks are the tastiest.

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                                        19. It is shameful that finding a caring and compex man is a source of surprise.

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                                          20. Again, comparing a man to a woman as an insult is inappropriate.

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                                            21. Enforcing heteronormative roles is naïve and insenstive.

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                                              22. What happened to ‘size doesn’t matter?’

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                                                23. Only you and your partner have the right to an opinion regarding your sexual encounter.

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                                                  24. This is ignorant.

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                                                    25. This is malicious on so many levels.

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                                                      26. As if your girlfiend can’t decide for herself whom she can speak with.

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                                                        27. Violence is never, never, appropriate, and violence never, never, shows your worth.

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                                                          28. This term is offensive to anyone, no matter your gender.

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                                                            29. The history of this insult is much more brutal than you might know.

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                                                              30. Does anyone actually know what this means?

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                                                                31. Face it: Everyone loves Adele, and no one should be abused for it.

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                                                                  32. It’s unreasonable to assume that anyone could keep a dry eye during ‘Up.’

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                                                                    33. Because free speech applies to everyone, even women in relationships.

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                                                                      34. The power structure of relationships has changed, but some people don’t understand.

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                                                                        35. As women enter traditionally male careers, men move into traditionally female positions. It’s good for everyone.

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                                                                          36. This is insulting no matter who you are or what you do.

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                                                                            37. Why should a person be foced to abandon his or her identity if he or she doesn’t want to?

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                                                                              38. Salary is important — only insofar as it provides shelter, food, and comfort, not prestige.

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                                                                                39. Nothing should be able to take away a person’s confidence.

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                                                                                  40. It’s a choice. And no one can judge.

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                                                                                    41. Dancing is a human desire, not a gendered one.

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                                                                                      42. It is dangerous to set such negative expectations on an entire gender.

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                                                                                        43. Most times, possessions are just possessions.

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                                                                                          44. Fatherly protection should only extend so far.

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                                                                                            45. In fact, there are more prolific male chefs than female chefs.

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                                                                                              46. Both people wear the pants, because everyone can wear whatever he or she wants.

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                                                                                                47. Everyone gets older; it’s nothing to be ashamed about.

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                                                                                                  48. That time is the past, present, and future. Men will always be men, no matter how they act, what they like, or why they make their choices.

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                                                                                                    Featured photo credit: Huffington Post via youtube.com

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                                                                                                    Last Updated on January 18, 2019

                                                                                                    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                                                                                                    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                                                                                                    Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

                                                                                                    But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

                                                                                                    If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

                                                                                                    1. Limit the time you spend with them.

                                                                                                    First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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                                                                                                    In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

                                                                                                    Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

                                                                                                    2. Speak up for yourself.

                                                                                                    Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

                                                                                                    3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

                                                                                                    This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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                                                                                                    But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

                                                                                                    4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

                                                                                                    Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

                                                                                                    This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

                                                                                                    Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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                                                                                                    5. Change the subject.

                                                                                                    When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

                                                                                                    Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

                                                                                                    6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

                                                                                                    Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

                                                                                                    I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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                                                                                                    You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

                                                                                                    Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

                                                                                                    7. Leave them behind.

                                                                                                    Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

                                                                                                    If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

                                                                                                    That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

                                                                                                    You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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