Advertising
Advertising

10 Things That Happen When You Move Across the Country

10 Things That Happen When You Move Across the Country

East and West, New York and LA—the two extreme sides of this country are so different that, at times, they can feel like different countries altogether. So when you find yourself moving from one to the other, needless to say, there are going to be a lot of adjustments for you to get used to. Here are some of the things you can expect to happen if you decide to make the big move.

1. The way you get from A to B completely transforms.

The car is king in Los Angeles, but upon moving to New York, you’re bound to discover fairly quickly that it’s often not worth even owning a car at all. People tend to get around using the subway, walking, and through hiring the occasional taxi. Conversely, when you move in the other direction, you will soon find that public transport is no longer a staple, and you will have to drive just about anywhere you need to be (with plenty of traffic on the way).

Advertising

2. You have to get used to a completely new climate.

The perpetual sunshine of LA could not be more different from the four contrasting seasons that you will experience on the East Coast. Whether you are moving east or west, you will no doubt have to completely transform your wardrobe to adjust to the new climate.

3. You end up answering endless questions about your previous city of residence.

Whichever direction you are moving, be prepared to answer the same questions over and over about your recent move—it’s just part and parcel of moving someplace new, especially when that new place is across the other side of the country. “Oh, you just moved from ___? That’s a big adjustment! How are you settling in here in ____? What made you move?” And so on.

Advertising

4. They speak a whole different language.

OK, so maybe they don’t literally speak a different language, but there are a so many nuances in the speech, slang, and culture of each big city that sometimes it can feel as though they really do. Lucky for you, it should only take a few months to get used to the new city and you’ll be talking about the MTA like a pro.

5. There is a whole new social scene to get used to.

And along with the language—in fact, a large part of what influences it—there is a whole new social scene to get used to. And though drinks with friends is a near-universal activity, certain location-specific features mean that you will have to adjust to other things accordingly. For example, it’s a lot more common to spend a day or evening at the beach when you live in LA than in New York.

Advertising

6. You get involved in a lot of arguments about food.

In n’ Out versus Shake Shack, pizza versus Mexican—one thing that locals of any given city are particularly passionate about is food. It will be hard for you not to romanticize the food in your previous city, but don’t worry: you will have plenty of people with whom you can debate the matter.

7. You still spend just as much money.

Another universal fact about large cities, especially LA and New York, is that they are not cheap places to reside. From the cost of rent, to transport, and even food, you won’t need to adjust your budget very much as high prices will break the bank on either coast.

Advertising

8. The concept of space is completely different.

When compared with the history of New York, Los Angeles is a relatively new city. It is for this reason that it was built for cars and roads. It also means that there is generally a lot more space to be found in LA. If you make the move across to New York, you will probably find that what constitutes a large space is no longer as big as it once was.

9. You meet plenty of diverse and interesting new people.

While it can be a difficult adjustment at first, one comfort of moving to one of these big cities is that you will meet a lot of other “outsiders” like yourself, who moved from similarly far-off places. Meeting new and interesting people every day is one of the best things about living in a big city.

10. You miss home occasionally, but still love your new city.

All of these things may be a scary prospect at first, but it doesn’t take long to fit into the rhythm of a brand new city. If you embrace the differences, rather than fighting against them, you will soon find that any homesickness fades away and you will grow to love your new home as much as your old one.

Featured photo credit: cofiem/City via flic.kr

More by this author

Bethany Cleg

Photographer, Entrepreneur

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home Top 10 Most Affordable Cities in Southern California 5 Things to Consider When Moving to New York 10 Things That Happen When You Move Across the Country A Step-By-Step Guide To Achieving Mindfulness

Trending in Home

1 10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home 2 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of 3 5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life 4 25 Really Cool Cat Furniture Design Ideas Every Cat Owner Needs 5 Scientists Discover Why You Should Take Off Your Shoes Before Entering Your Home

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

Advertising

Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

Advertising

You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

Advertising

  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

Advertising

Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

Read Next