Advertising
Advertising

Real Story: She Turned Paper Into The Most Magical Gift For A Child

Real Story: She Turned Paper Into The Most Magical Gift For A Child

Few things are as magical when you are a child as gifts. Early on it’s amazing that our birthdays even happen. Remember it? Our first few birthdays? We had no concept of time and then all of a sudden one day we just get gifts because we were born. Then once we finally got that worked out there are gifts on another day because Jesus was born (or Santa comes or whatever belief system you subscribe too.) This is all too much isn’t it? I mean we don’t even earn these things.

When the magic of the calendar has worn off we are than able to focus on something else: the gifts. We start to have opinions on presents. Expectations on what they should be. That is where this story picks up.

The Unforgettable Christmas Present

A young man took care of Mrs. Long’s lawn during one summer. She was an elderly woman who could only afford to pay very little for the deed as she was not well off. During that summer she did promise the young man that she would have a Christmas present for him come winter. That promise was repeated on the last day that summer that the lawn was mowed.

Advertising

There was quite a long time between the summer and Christmas. I’m sure it must have felt like an eternity to the young boy. He ran through what he thought it could be. Could it be a bike? No, she couldn’t carry that. After all she was frail and a little older. Could it be a baseball glove? That’s possible, and he needed one. Oh, I know, skates! How fantastic would it be to have new skates to keep up with the other boys?

Time passed and it finally got to be December. He couldn’t go get it on December 1st, right? That would probably look bad, and also, I mean, she might not have it wrapped yet. His family agreed that he should wait. Cut to December 22nd. Finally he decided it was safe to go.

The gift was definitely not a bike. It wasn’t big enough for a baseball glove and certainly not skates. He picked up the box and it was light. Really, really light. He asked what it could be and Mrs. Long let him know that he had to wait until Christmas to find out. However there was a little bit of magic tucked into that box.

Advertising

Christmas came and he opened the box. In the box were 10 flimsy pieces of black paper with the words Carbon Paper Regal Premium. If you don’t know, these papers were used to stick between the sheets of papers to make a carbon copy of what was being written. Mrs. Long couldn’t afford to spend money, so she gifted magic. It was the most magical gift the boy ever received.

If you are wondering how to recapture magic for your little ones please continue reading for some ideas.

Scavenger Hunts

Who can resist the fun of having to find the presents based on clues and hunting. Send them all around the house, inside and outside.

Advertising

String Attached to a Gift

Follow me on this. Attach the piece of string and then wrap it around chairs, upstairs, downstairs, and lead them all around the house until finally they follow the string to the gift.

Surprise Party

Invite friends and yell surprise at your unsuspecting kid. They love surprise parties. Heck, they love just the word “Surprise!”

Balloons

Fill their room with balloons while they sleep. Can you imagine waking up to balloons everywhere!?! That would still be awesome at my age.

Advertising

I hope that these ideas can help you make someone’s day extra special. I know as adults we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make every birthday the best party ever for our kids. Try to remember the joy of doing things and the amazing feeling of knowing someone spent time to do something for you and with you. That is the true magic.

Please follow this link and read the Christmas gift story in more touching detail. You will not regret it.

More by this author

7 Signs That You’re Making Your Children Narcissistic Real Story: She Turned Paper Into The Most Magical Gift For A Child Lemon Juice With Salt Can Stop Migraine Headache Within Minutes Amazing Benefits Of Olive Oil You Need To Know Meal Planning Challenge: Healthy Grocery Shopping Once A Month

Trending in Child Development

1 Want Your Kids To Be Happy For A Lifetime? Make Them Feel Secure In The Early Days 2 Necessary Steps When Teaching Your Teenager to Drive 3 5 Tips For Teaching Money Management To Children 4 7 Effective Tips for Your Child’s Positive Growth 5 5 Ways to Ease Back to Work Without Nanny Anxiety

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on February 11, 2021

3 Positive Discipline Strategies That Are Best For Your Child

3 Positive Discipline Strategies That Are Best For Your Child

I’m old enough to remember how the cane at school was used for punishment. My dad is old enough to think that banning corporal punishment in schools resulted in today’s poorly disciplined youth. With all of this as my early experiences, there was a time when I would have been better assigned to write about how to negatively discipline your child.

What changed? Thankfully, my wife showed me different approaches for discipline that were very positive. Plus, I was open to learning.

What has not changed is that kids are full of problems with impulses and emotions that flip from sad to happy, then angry in a moment. Though we’re not that different as adults with stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, and stimulants such as sugar and caffeine in our diets.

Punishment as Discipline?

What this means is that we usually take the easy path when a child misbehaves and punish them. Punishment may solve an isolated problem, but it’s not really teaching the kids anything useful in the long term.

Probably it’s time for me to be clear about what I mean by punishment and discipline as these terms are often used interchangeably, but they are quite different.

Discipline VS. Punishment

Punishment is where we inflict pain or suffering on our child as a penalty. Discipline means to teach. They’re quite the opposite, but you’ll notice that teachers, parents, and coaches often confuse the two words.

So, as parents, we have to have clear goals to teach our kids. It’s a long-term plan—using strategies that will have the longest-lasting impact on our kids are the best use of our time and energy.

If you’re clear about what you want to achieve, then it becomes easier to find the best strategy. The better we are at responding when our kids misbehave or do not follow our guidance, the better the results are going to be.

Advertising

3 Positive Discipline Strategies for Your Child

Stay with me as I appreciate that a lot of people who read these blogs do not always have children with impulse control. We’ve had a lot of kids in our martial arts classes that were the complete opposite. They had concentration issues, hyperactive, and disruptive to the other children.

The easy solution is to punish their parents by removing the kids from the class or punish the child with penalties such as time outs and burpees. Yes, it was tempting to do all of this, but one of our club values is that we pull you up rather than push you down.

This means it’s a long-term gain to build trust and confidence, which is destroyed by constant punishments.

Here are the discipline strategies we used to build trust and confidence with these hyperactive kids.

1. Patience

The first positive discipline strategy is to simply be patient. The more patient you are, the more likely you are to get results. Remember I said that we need to build trust and connection. You’ll get further with this goal using patience.

As a coach, sometimes I was not the best person for this role, but we had other coaches in the club that could step in here. As a parent, you may not have this luxury, so it’s really important to recognize any improvements that you see and celebrate them.

2. Redirection

The second strategy we use is redirection. It’s important with a redirection to take “no” out of the equation. Choices are a great alternative.

Imagine a scenario where you’re in a restaurant and your kid is wailing. The hard part here is getting your child to stop screaming long enough for you to build a connection. Most parents have calming strategies and if you practice them with your child, they are more likely to be effective.

Advertising

In the first moment of calm, you can say “Your choice to scream and cry in public is not a good one. It would be best to say, Dad. What can I do to get ice-cream?” You can replace this with an appropriate option.

The challenge with being calm and redirecting is that we need to be clear-minded, focused, and really engaged at the moment. If you’re on your phone, talking with friends or family, thinking about work or the bills, you’ll miss this opportunity to discipline in a way that has long-term benefits.

3. Repair and Ground Rules

The third positive discipline strategy is to repair and use ground rules. Once you’ve given the better option and it has been taken, you have a chance to repair this behavior to lessen its occurrence to better yet, prevent it from happening again. And by setting appropriate ground rules, you can make this a long-term win by helping your child improve their behavior.

It’s these ground rules that help you correct the poor choices of your child and direct the behavior that you want to see.

Consequences Versus Ultimatums

When I was a child and being punished. My parents worked in a busy business for long hours, so their default was to go to ultimatums. “Do that again and you’re grounded for a week,” or “If I catch you doing X, you’ll go to bed without dinner”.

Looking back, this worked to a point. But the flip side is that I remembered more of the ultimatums than the happier times. I’ve learned through trial and error with my own kids that consequences are more effective while not breaking down trust.

What to Do When Ground Rules Get Broken?

It’s on the consequences that you use when the ground rules are broken.

In the martial arts class, when the hyperactive student breaks the ground rules. They would miss a turn in a game or go to the back of the line in a queue. We do not want to shame the child by isolating them. But on the flip side, there should be clear ground rules and proportionate consequences.

Advertising

Yes, there are times when we would like to exclude the student from the class, the club, and even the universe. Again, it’s here that patience is so important and probably impulse control too. With an attainable consequence, you can maintain trust and you’re more likely to get the long-term behavior that you’re looking to achieve.

Interestingly, we would occasionally hear a strategy from parents that little Kevin has been misbehaving at home with his sister or something similar. He likes martial arts training, so the parent would react by removing Kevin from the martial arts class as a punishment.

We would suggest that this would remove Kevin from an environment where he is behaving positively. Removing him from this is likely to be detrimental to the change you would like to see. He may even feel shame when he returns to the class and loses all the progress he’s made.

Alternatives to Punishment

Another option is to tell Kevin to write a letter to his sister, apologizing for his behavior, and explaining how he is going to behave in the future.

If your child is too young to write, give the apology face to face. For the apology to feel sincere, there is some value to pre-framing or practicing this between yourself and your child before they give it to the intended person.

Don’t expect them to know the ground rules or what you’re thinking! It will be clearer to your child and better received with some practice. You can practice along the lines of: “X is the behavior I did, Y is what I should have done, and Z is my promise to you for how I’m going to act in the future.” You can replace XYZ with the appropriate actions.

It does not need to be a letter or in person, it can even be a video. But there has to be an intention to repair the broken ground rule. If you try these strategies, that is become fully engaged with them and you’re still getting nowhere.

But what to do if these strategies do not work? Then there is plenty to gain by seeking the help of an expert. Chances are that something is interfering or limiting their development.

Advertising

This does not mean that your child has a neurological deficiency, although this may be the root cause. But it means that you can get an objective view and help on how to create the changes that you would like to see. Remember that using positive discipline strategies is better than mere punishment.

There are groups that you can chat with for help. Family Lives UK has the aim of ensuring that all parents have somewhere to turn before they reached a crisis point. The NSPCC also provides a useful guide to positive parenting that you can download.[1]

Bottom Line

So, there your go, the three takeaways on strategies you can use for positively disciplining your child. The first one is about you! Be patient, be present, and think about what is best for the long term. AKA, avoid ultimatums and punishment. The second is to use a redirect, then repair and repeat (ground rules) as your 3-step method of discipline.

Using these positive discipline strategies require you to be fully engaged with your child. Again, being impulsive breaks trust and you lose some of the gains you’ve both worked hard to achieve.

Lastly, consequences are better than punishment. Plus, avoid shaming, especially in public at all costs.

I hope this blog has been useful, and remember that you should be more focused on repairing bad behavior because being proactive and encouraging good behavior with rewards, fun, and positive emotions takes less effort than repairing the bad.

More Tips on How To Discipline Your Child

Featured photo credit: Leo Rivas via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] NSPCC Learning: Positive parenting

Read Next