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10 Honest Truths About Moving To A Different Country

10 Honest Truths About Moving To A Different Country

There is something incredibly romantic about packing your bags and hitting the road. Maybe it’s the promise of adventure, the adrenaline of being in a place where no one knows who you are, the unpredictability that anything can happening at any given moment, the burgeoning hope of limitless possibility, or the simple excitement of waking up to see the sun rise on a foreign city.

Since time immemorial, moving to a different locale has been sentimentalized by the media. Breakfast At Tiffany’s made the commitment-phobic woes of Holly Golightly seem quite appealing. Under the Tuscan Sun gave us the idea that sometimes heartbreak can lead to olive picking, renovating a crumbling chateau, and meeting a devastatingly handsome stranger. Movies like Burlesque and Coyote Ugly convinced us that it’s possible for a small-town lass to make it in a big city. But uprooting your whole life and replanting it on foreign soil is far more complex than Hollywood would lead us to believe.

When I made my own cross-continental move as a young adult a few years back, I was ready for thrill and adventure. What I failed to anticipate were the days and nights of complete bewilderment; the slow, tedious process of adjustment and the confusing feelings of being transient. Contemplating a big move to a different city, coast, or country? Here are ten honest truths that will prepare you for the challenging but oh-so-worth-it life change that lies ahead.

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1. It takes a lot of planning.

You may think moving is as easy as hitchhiking, but there is a lot to be done beyond just booking a one-way ticket. Where will you live? Will you need to obtain some sort of visa or permit? Do you have a job lined up, or enough savings to tide you over until you do? If something goes terribly awry, who will be your nearest emergency contact? Being practical now will help you keep your feet on the ground once your move has gotten your life in flux.

2. Prepare to be overwhelmed.

The days leading up to a big move will be some of the most hectic in your life. Getting important documents ready, going for medical checkups, putting your life away in cardboard boxes—all these can numb your emotions until the very last minute. But then it hits you like a tidal wave. Expect to be that crazy person weeping like it’s the apocalypse at boarding. Somewhere mid-Atlantic, when you’re on your second glass of wine and the third movie of the flight, doubt and incredible sadness will creep in. Did you make the right decision? Are you insane for doing what you’re doing? Did you just ruin your own life? Relax. Embrace the uncertainty. It’s all part of process.

3. Homesickness is real.

No matter how independent you may be, you will wake up one day violently craving some kind of soup your mom made in your childhood. You will find yourself sitting on your bed, surrounded by used tissues, snotty and unintelligible while on Skype with your best friend. There will be times when you’ll feel like you’re living in two time zones and, for a while at least, that will be the reality. Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and talk to whoever it is you’re missing. It’ll help.

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4. You will be challenged in every way possible.

You will get lost. You will feel vulnerable and afraid. You will commit social faux pas. Three weeks into moving to New York, I broke my foot stepping off a train on school orientation day. I was alone and could not walk a single step without collapsing in pain. I ended up having to rely on the kindness of my new classmates and my school’s program director to ice my foot and get me to the hospital. Which brings me to the next point.

5. You will need help.

Don’t be too proud to ask for it. No man is an island. You’ll be surprised at how strangers will step up to the plate and exhibit kindness.

6. Life will go on without you.

There will be countless parties, birthdays, weddings, etc. that you will miss. At first it will feel like a stab in the heart to see people you love celebrate milestones without you. But as a friend of mine wisely told me, “You can’t always be there for everyone’s milestones. Because then you might miss your own.”

7. Homesickness ends.

One day, you’ll wake up and won’t feel the need to weep. You will develop a routine, a rhythm. The streets will start to make sense in your brain and will stop being so unfamiliar. You will meet new people who will welcome you into their tribe. What once felt so scary and strange will start to feel like home. That said, we come to the next point.

8. There’s culture shock, then there’s reverse culture shock.

The day you touch down in your homeland, prepare to find things not quite how you remember. My favorite example of this is escalator etiquette. When I first moved to New York, I didn’t know that the right side of the escalator was for standing still, the left for walking. Now, whenever I visit the Philippines, I have no idea where to place myself escalator-wise. It’s hilarious.

9. You will “go native.”

Ah, the day the rose-colored glasses come off. No matter how in love with a place you are, one day it will feel like real life again. There will be bills to pay and chores to do. Life catches up, and it’s not all fun and games. I knew I had gone native the moment I learned to angrily squeeze myself into a crowded subway during rush hour and developed an allergy to Times Square.

10. Prepare to have your life changed forever.

I thought that moving to a different country “for a couple of years” wouldn’t be a big deal in the long run. I thought I could easily go back to the status quo once my adventuring was over. But those years are your life, and they cannot be compartmentalized. You will grow and make mistakes, discover surprising things about yourself that you didn’t know, push limits and learn to create boundaries, fall in and out of love, and meet some of your best friends in the whole wide world. It will turn your life inside out and upside down. It will change you completely.

Featured photo credit: Transformer18 via flic.kr

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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