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Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

In this age of social media and text communication, it’s easier than ever to connect with people from all corners of the world. You can talk to people without ever knowing what their voice sounds like or what they even look like.

In 1997, Dr. Arthur Aron conducted a study to see if feelings of intimacy and closeness could be fast-tracked in a lab setting. A classroom of psychology students were divided into pairs and given 36 questions to ask each other. These questions were divided into three 15-question sections, becoming more probing and personal with each section. The idea was that if people shared personal memories, thoughts and feelings with each other, they would feel closeness at an accelerated pace. The 36 questions became a popular exercise for people looking for ways to break the ice during dates or to get closer with their partners.

Dr. Aron sent out a follow up survey seven weeks after the study and found that 57% of students had at least one subsequent conversation, 35% had done something together, and 37% had subsequently sat together in class. Dr. Aron had, essentially, created a love hack.

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This year, Venngage decided to recreate the study with with a 21st century twist: the study would be conducted entirely through text, with no physical indicators.This new study asked 32 participants to ask each other the same 36 questions, but through text message. At the end of the study, participants had the option of exchanging contact information with their partner if they were interested in talking more or meeting in person.

Would people still feel the same level of closeness as in the original study if participants had no physical cues to go by? Is it possible for people to fall in love through words alone?

The results may or may not surprise you. While the majority of participants 50% of participants found it easier to discuss personal topics through text, 53% of participants still preferred offline conversation to online. And while 81% of participants exchanged contact info at the end of the study, 78% of participants did not intend to see their partner again after the study.

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While text can make it easier for more introverted people to open up, most people need to meet a person before they know how they feel about them. In the original study, the relationship between participants was rated closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30% of similar students. In the new study, however, 16% of participants felt the same level of closeness to their partner as they do to the closest person in their life, 84% felt less close in comparison, and 0% felt more close in comparison.

What can we learn from this? Well, while text can be a great way to chat with someone before deciding if you want to meet them in person, most people need a physical connection with their partner in love. There are things that a person reveals through their facial expressions and physicality that is lost through text communication.

But don’t despair if meeting people in person isn’t your thing! While the number of people who use online dating apps is still in the minority, those numbers are on the rise. According to research done by eHarmony, 38% of couples are expected to meet online in the near future, with that number rising to 70% of couples by 2040. And while most people prefer conducting their romantic lives offline, according to a survey by Skout, 76% of people have  a good friend that they met online but have never met up with in person. So it would seem that people continue to become more and more comfortable with conducting relationships through social media and messaging apps.

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When it comes to love, do what works for you.

This infographic shows the full results of the study:

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                        Featured photo credit: Venngage via infograph.venngage.com

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                        Last Updated on January 21, 2020

                        The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                        The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                        Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

                        your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

                          Why You Need a Vision

                          Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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                          How to Create Your Life Vision

                          Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

                          What Do You Want?

                          The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

                          It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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                          Some tips to guide you:

                          • Remember to ask why you want certain things
                          • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
                          • Give yourself permission to dream.
                          • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
                          • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

                          Some questions to start your exploration:

                          • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
                          • What would you like to have more of in your life?
                          • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
                          • What are your secret passions and dreams?
                          • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
                          • What do you want your relationships to be like?
                          • What qualities would you like to develop?
                          • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
                          • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
                          • What would you most like to accomplish?
                          • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

                          It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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                          What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

                          Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

                          A few prompts to get you started:

                          • What will you have accomplished already?
                          • How will you feel about yourself?
                          • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
                          • What does your ideal day look like?
                          • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
                          • What would you be doing?
                          • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
                          • How are you dressed?
                          • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
                          • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
                          • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

                          It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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                          Plan Backwards

                          It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

                          • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
                          • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
                          • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
                          • What important actions would you have had to take?
                          • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
                          • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
                          • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
                          • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
                          • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

                          Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

                          It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

                          Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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