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Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

In this age of social media and text communication, it’s easier than ever to connect with people from all corners of the world. You can talk to people without ever knowing what their voice sounds like or what they even look like.

In 1997, Dr. Arthur Aron conducted a study to see if feelings of intimacy and closeness could be fast-tracked in a lab setting. A classroom of psychology students were divided into pairs and given 36 questions to ask each other. These questions were divided into three 15-question sections, becoming more probing and personal with each section. The idea was that if people shared personal memories, thoughts and feelings with each other, they would feel closeness at an accelerated pace. The 36 questions became a popular exercise for people looking for ways to break the ice during dates or to get closer with their partners.

Dr. Aron sent out a follow up survey seven weeks after the study and found that 57% of students had at least one subsequent conversation, 35% had done something together, and 37% had subsequently sat together in class. Dr. Aron had, essentially, created a love hack.

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This year, Venngage decided to recreate the study with with a 21st century twist: the study would be conducted entirely through text, with no physical indicators.This new study asked 32 participants to ask each other the same 36 questions, but through text message. At the end of the study, participants had the option of exchanging contact information with their partner if they were interested in talking more or meeting in person.

Would people still feel the same level of closeness as in the original study if participants had no physical cues to go by? Is it possible for people to fall in love through words alone?

The results may or may not surprise you. While the majority of participants 50% of participants found it easier to discuss personal topics through text, 53% of participants still preferred offline conversation to online. And while 81% of participants exchanged contact info at the end of the study, 78% of participants did not intend to see their partner again after the study.

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While text can make it easier for more introverted people to open up, most people need to meet a person before they know how they feel about them. In the original study, the relationship between participants was rated closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30% of similar students. In the new study, however, 16% of participants felt the same level of closeness to their partner as they do to the closest person in their life, 84% felt less close in comparison, and 0% felt more close in comparison.

What can we learn from this? Well, while text can be a great way to chat with someone before deciding if you want to meet them in person, most people need a physical connection with their partner in love. There are things that a person reveals through their facial expressions and physicality that is lost through text communication.

But don’t despair if meeting people in person isn’t your thing! While the number of people who use online dating apps is still in the minority, those numbers are on the rise. According to research done by eHarmony, 38% of couples are expected to meet online in the near future, with that number rising to 70% of couples by 2040. And while most people prefer conducting their romantic lives offline, according to a survey by Skout, 76% of people have  a good friend that they met online but have never met up with in person. So it would seem that people continue to become more and more comfortable with conducting relationships through social media and messaging apps.

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When it comes to love, do what works for you.

This infographic shows the full results of the study:

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                        Featured photo credit: Venngage via infograph.venngage.com

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                        Sara McGuire

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                        Last Updated on September 16, 2019

                        How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

                        How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

                        You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

                        We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

                        The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

                        Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

                        1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

                        Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

                        For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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                        • (1) Research
                        • (2) Deciding the topic
                        • (3) Creating the outline
                        • (4) Drafting the content
                        • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
                        • (6) Revision
                        • (7) etc.

                        Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

                        2. Change Your Environment

                        Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

                        One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

                        3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

                        Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

                        Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

                        My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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                        Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

                        4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

                        If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

                        Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

                        I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

                        5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

                        I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

                        Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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                        As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

                        6. Get a Buddy

                        Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

                        I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

                        7. Tell Others About Your Goals

                        This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

                        For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

                        8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

                        What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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                        9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

                        If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

                        Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

                        10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

                        Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

                        Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

                        11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

                        At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

                        Reality check:

                        I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

                        More About Procrastination

                        Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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