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Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

Have We Discovered A Love Hack That Works? [INFOGRAPHIC]

In this age of social media and text communication, it’s easier than ever to connect with people from all corners of the world. You can talk to people without ever knowing what their voice sounds like or what they even look like.

In 1997, Dr. Arthur Aron conducted a study to see if feelings of intimacy and closeness could be fast-tracked in a lab setting. A classroom of psychology students were divided into pairs and given 36 questions to ask each other. These questions were divided into three 15-question sections, becoming more probing and personal with each section. The idea was that if people shared personal memories, thoughts and feelings with each other, they would feel closeness at an accelerated pace. The 36 questions became a popular exercise for people looking for ways to break the ice during dates or to get closer with their partners.

Dr. Aron sent out a follow up survey seven weeks after the study and found that 57% of students had at least one subsequent conversation, 35% had done something together, and 37% had subsequently sat together in class. Dr. Aron had, essentially, created a love hack.

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This year, Venngage decided to recreate the study with with a 21st century twist: the study would be conducted entirely through text, with no physical indicators.This new study asked 32 participants to ask each other the same 36 questions, but through text message. At the end of the study, participants had the option of exchanging contact information with their partner if they were interested in talking more or meeting in person.

Would people still feel the same level of closeness as in the original study if participants had no physical cues to go by? Is it possible for people to fall in love through words alone?

The results may or may not surprise you. While the majority of participants 50% of participants found it easier to discuss personal topics through text, 53% of participants still preferred offline conversation to online. And while 81% of participants exchanged contact info at the end of the study, 78% of participants did not intend to see their partner again after the study.

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While text can make it easier for more introverted people to open up, most people need to meet a person before they know how they feel about them. In the original study, the relationship between participants was rated closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30% of similar students. In the new study, however, 16% of participants felt the same level of closeness to their partner as they do to the closest person in their life, 84% felt less close in comparison, and 0% felt more close in comparison.

What can we learn from this? Well, while text can be a great way to chat with someone before deciding if you want to meet them in person, most people need a physical connection with their partner in love. There are things that a person reveals through their facial expressions and physicality that is lost through text communication.

But don’t despair if meeting people in person isn’t your thing! While the number of people who use online dating apps is still in the minority, those numbers are on the rise. According to research done by eHarmony, 38% of couples are expected to meet online in the near future, with that number rising to 70% of couples by 2040. And while most people prefer conducting their romantic lives offline, according to a survey by Skout, 76% of people have  a good friend that they met online but have never met up with in person. So it would seem that people continue to become more and more comfortable with conducting relationships through social media and messaging apps.

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When it comes to love, do what works for you.

This infographic shows the full results of the study:

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                        Featured photo credit: Venngage via infograph.venngage.com

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                        Sara McGuire

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                        Last Updated on November 20, 2018

                        10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

                        10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

                        A new year beautifully symbolizes a new chapter opening in the book that is your life. But while so many people like you aspire to achieve ambitious goals, only 12% of you will ever experience the taste of victory. Sound bad? It is. 156 million people (that’s 156,000,000) will probably give up on their resolution before you can say “confetti.” Keep on reading to learn why New Year’s resolutions fail (and how to succeed).

                        Note: Since losing weight is the most common New Year’s resolution, I chose to focus on weight loss (but these principles can be applied to just about any goal you think of — make it work for you!).

                        1. You’re treating a marathon like a sprint.

                        Slow and steady habit change might not be sexy, but it’s a lot more effective than the “I want it ALL and I want it NOW!” mentality. Small changes stick better because they aren’t intimidating (if you do it right, you’ll barely even notice them!).

                        If you have a lot of bad habits today, the last thing you need to do is remodel your entire life overnight. Want to lose weight? Stop it with the crash diets and excessive exercise plans. Instead of following a super restrictive plan that bans anything fun, add one positive habit per week. For example, you could start with something easy like drinking more water during your first week. The following week, you could move on to eating 3 fruits and veggies every day. And the next week, you could aim to eat a fistful of protein at every meal.

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                        2. You put the cart before the horse.

                        “Supplementing” a crappy diet is stupid, so don’t even think about it. Focus on the actions that produce the overwhelming amount of results. If it’s not important, don’t worry about it.

                        3. You don’t believe in yourself.

                        A failure to act can cripple you before you leave the starting line. If you’ve tried (and failed) to set a New Year’s resolution (or several) in the past, I know it might be hard to believe in yourself. Doubt is a nagging voice in your head that will resist personal growth with every ounce of its being. The only way to defeat doubt is to believe in yourself. Who cares if you’ve failed a time or two? This year, you can try again (but better this time).

                        4. Too much thinking, not enough doing.

                        The best self-help book in the world can’t save you if you fail to take action. Yes, seek inspiration and knowledge, but only as much as you can realistically apply to your life. If you can put just one thing you learn from every book or article you read into practice, you’ll be on the fast track to success.

                        5. You’re in too much of a hurry.

                        If it was quick-and-easy, everybody would do it, so it’s in your best interest to exercise your patience muscles.

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                        6. You don’t enjoy the process.

                        Is it any wonder people struggle with their weight when they see eating as a chore and exercise as a dreadful bore? The best fitness plan is one that causes the least interruption to your daily life. The goal isn’t to add stress to your life, but rather to remove it.

                        The best of us couldn’t bring ourselves to do something we hate consistently, so make getting in shape fun, however you’ve gotta do it. That could be participating in a sport you love, exercising with a good friend or two, joining a group exercise class so you can meet new people, or giving yourself one “free day” per week where you forget about your training plan and exercise in any way you please.

                        7. You’re trying too hard.

                        Unless you want to experience some nasty cravings, don’t deprive your body of pleasure. The more you tell yourself you can’t have a food, the more you’re going to want it. As long as you’re making positive choices 80-90% of the time, don’t sweat the occasional indulgence.

                        8. You don’t track your progress.

                        Keeping a written record of your training progress will help you sustain an “I CAN do this” attitude. All you need is a notebook and a pen. For every workout, record what exercises you do, the number of repetitions performed, and how much weight you used if applicable. Your goal? Do better next time. Improving your best performance on a regular basis offers positive feedback that will encourage you to keep going.

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                        9. You have no social support.

                        It can be hard to stay motivated when you feel alone. The good news? You’re not alone: far from it. Post a status on Facebook asking your friends if anybody would like to be your gym or accountability buddy. If you know a co-worker who shares your goal, try to coordinate your lunch time and go out together so you’ll be more likely to make positive decisions. Join a support group of like-minded folks on Facebook, LinkedIn, or elsewhere on the internet. Strength in numbers is powerful, so use it to your advantage.

                        10. You know your what but not your why.

                        The biggest reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail: you know what you want but you not why you want it.

                        Yes: you want to get fit, lose weight, or be healthy… but why is your goal important to you? For example:

                        Do you want to be fit so you can be a positive example that your children can admire and look up to?

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                        Do you want to lose fat so you’ll feel more confident and sexy in your body than ever before?

                        Do you want to be healthy so you’ll have increased clarity, energy, and focus that would carry over into every single aspect of your life?

                        Whether you’re getting in shape because you want to live longer, be a good example, boost your energy, feel confident, have an excuse to buy hot new clothes, or increase your likelihood of getting laid (hey, I’m not here to judge) is up to you. Forget about any preconceived notions and be true to yourself.

                        • The more specific you can make your goal,
                        • The more vivid it will be in your imagination,
                        • The more encouraged you’ll be,
                        • The more likely it is you will succeed (because yes, you CAN do this!).

                        I hope this guide to why New Year’s resolutions fail helps you achieve your goals this year. If you found this helpful, please pass it along to some friends so they can be successful just like you. What do you hope to accomplish next year?

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