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7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

You may be going to bed at night wondering why people at your job or school aren’t your friends. Well, you’re in luck my friend because I had no issues gaining friends and you’re about to be coached. I can help you get people to like you more.

What is this buzz about popularity anyway? Why does it matter so much? Let’s face it, it’s just no fun being at home on a Saturday night staring at the four walls – unless you choose to that is. Don’t get me wrong, some weekends you’ll want to have “boo loving” sessions with your other half, watching a movie or just staying in and reading a book. However, since you are reading this article that is not really your intention at the moment.

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Now, get comfortable and let the guru of friends making teach you a thing or two… or seven.

1. Be Cool

Your confidence is important. You may be a simple house-cat, but what’s so wrong with viewing yourself as a beautifully striped tiger. It’s crazy how the way you view yourself is how people will react to you… well most of them. Some people literally start off their days trying to be a more awesome a**hole than they already are. Don’t settle for that, and don’t dwell on what those people say. You don’t even have to acknowledge their existence. You’re better than that. Create such an aura to yourself that when you step out of your house, you don’t remember to care about negativity. How do you get to this? Good question. That leads me to number two.

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2. Compliment-ary Service

Compliment yourself before you leave the bathroom in the morning. You have to convince yourself before you can try it somewhere else. This worked out well for me during high school, college, and even now. You may not have it all together but people on the outside don’t need to know that. Stop moping around and let them feel as if you are stronger than your situation. Soon after, you’ll start believing it too. When you believe in this, you become it. Also, when you compliment yourself it’s so powerful that people will have a difficult time trying to put you down. If you compliment yourself as part of your daily routine, people can put you down but it won’t sink in as well as your morning message does. Push through the hurt and stick to it. I’m not saying you won’t doubt yourself with all that’s going on but push through it; you have to promulgate an effort.

3. So Fresh And So Clean

Hygiene is important. It’s a known fact that when you smell good you feel good. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, flossing, wearing clean clothes, and using a decent amount of cologne or perfume (please don’t overdo it) will do wonders for you. You’ll be walking somewhere and people will look at you and say “Nice Outfit!” or “You smell amazing!” This will bring one of the greatest feelings on Earth. After all, we are just humans and we love to feel good. What do you know? Those same compliments are opportunities for striking up a conversation which could lead to great friendships. Anything is possible.

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4. Smile!

For Heaven’s sake would you smile more? Smiles are universal. No matter where you go they mean the same thing. I read an article when I was about 15 that said even faking a smile will release those happy hormones (endorphins). Do you know what that means? Those are the same hormones your body releases when you genuinely smile or laugh. Let that sink in. Your body gives the same reaction for any type of smile – genuine or not. Try this out with strangers. At 23 years old, I am the queen of smiling, and I’m still a people person. What does that tell you? It means that a smile can go a long way. Plus, if it worked for me, it will work for you too. We are no different.

5. Sign Me Up

Be open to have fun! Join a club with something that you like or something that you’re good at. I have loved music since I knew myself so it led me to joining the school choir. Up until now, I still have friends who are making music that I met from the choir. Now, would you look at that? You get to meet people and share common ground with them. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? If not, it states that like attracts like. Therefore, if you are in a place with people who like the same things you like, they are bound to like you more. If you haven’t found something you like yet, that’s fine too. All hope is not gone! You can either start your own group or suggest something fun to someone. Be random, be courageous, and be consistent. Before you do this, make sure that person is already in your circle of friends. Just to be safe, that means not a complete stranger.

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6. Live To Please

You are not a shadow or a bean bag, so don’t settle for people trying to steal your shine or sit on you. You have needs, but don’t turn your needs and wants to desperation. THAT’S A DEAD END! Keep trying until you get the results you want. Better yet, don’t be afraid to reach out to me. I care deeply about people and who they view themselves as. I appreciate you and you should appreciate yourself too.

7. Expect The Best

Expect that people will like you for you. If it doesn’t happen immediately, keep expecting. You should wake up in the mornings, go throughout the day, and go to bed expecting. I cannot stress it enough. It can be overbearing at times, and you will face disappointments, but that’s life. We shall move pass that. Everything needs balance. Without bad, we wouldn’t know what is good, so keep keeping on and expect more for yourself.

Conclusion

Practice these examples for 30 days and leave me a message on my Facebook. Let me know how this is going for you. It is guaranteed that people will begin to gravitate towards you. Try these steps with yourself before anyone out there will try them with you. Remember, I know you are AWESOME!

Featured photo credit: eflon via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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