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7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

You may be going to bed at night wondering why people at your job or school aren’t your friends. Well, you’re in luck my friend because I had no issues gaining friends and you’re about to be coached. I can help you get people to like you more.

What is this buzz about popularity anyway? Why does it matter so much? Let’s face it, it’s just no fun being at home on a Saturday night staring at the four walls – unless you choose to that is. Don’t get me wrong, some weekends you’ll want to have “boo loving” sessions with your other half, watching a movie or just staying in and reading a book. However, since you are reading this article that is not really your intention at the moment.

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Now, get comfortable and let the guru of friends making teach you a thing or two… or seven.

1. Be Cool

Your confidence is important. You may be a simple house-cat, but what’s so wrong with viewing yourself as a beautifully striped tiger. It’s crazy how the way you view yourself is how people will react to you… well most of them. Some people literally start off their days trying to be a more awesome a**hole than they already are. Don’t settle for that, and don’t dwell on what those people say. You don’t even have to acknowledge their existence. You’re better than that. Create such an aura to yourself that when you step out of your house, you don’t remember to care about negativity. How do you get to this? Good question. That leads me to number two.

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2. Compliment-ary Service

Compliment yourself before you leave the bathroom in the morning. You have to convince yourself before you can try it somewhere else. This worked out well for me during high school, college, and even now. You may not have it all together but people on the outside don’t need to know that. Stop moping around and let them feel as if you are stronger than your situation. Soon after, you’ll start believing it too. When you believe in this, you become it. Also, when you compliment yourself it’s so powerful that people will have a difficult time trying to put you down. If you compliment yourself as part of your daily routine, people can put you down but it won’t sink in as well as your morning message does. Push through the hurt and stick to it. I’m not saying you won’t doubt yourself with all that’s going on but push through it; you have to promulgate an effort.

3. So Fresh And So Clean

Hygiene is important. It’s a known fact that when you smell good you feel good. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, flossing, wearing clean clothes, and using a decent amount of cologne or perfume (please don’t overdo it) will do wonders for you. You’ll be walking somewhere and people will look at you and say “Nice Outfit!” or “You smell amazing!” This will bring one of the greatest feelings on Earth. After all, we are just humans and we love to feel good. What do you know? Those same compliments are opportunities for striking up a conversation which could lead to great friendships. Anything is possible.

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4. Smile!

For Heaven’s sake would you smile more? Smiles are universal. No matter where you go they mean the same thing. I read an article when I was about 15 that said even faking a smile will release those happy hormones (endorphins). Do you know what that means? Those are the same hormones your body releases when you genuinely smile or laugh. Let that sink in. Your body gives the same reaction for any type of smile – genuine or not. Try this out with strangers. At 23 years old, I am the queen of smiling, and I’m still a people person. What does that tell you? It means that a smile can go a long way. Plus, if it worked for me, it will work for you too. We are no different.

5. Sign Me Up

Be open to have fun! Join a club with something that you like or something that you’re good at. I have loved music since I knew myself so it led me to joining the school choir. Up until now, I still have friends who are making music that I met from the choir. Now, would you look at that? You get to meet people and share common ground with them. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? If not, it states that like attracts like. Therefore, if you are in a place with people who like the same things you like, they are bound to like you more. If you haven’t found something you like yet, that’s fine too. All hope is not gone! You can either start your own group or suggest something fun to someone. Be random, be courageous, and be consistent. Before you do this, make sure that person is already in your circle of friends. Just to be safe, that means not a complete stranger.

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6. Live To Please

You are not a shadow or a bean bag, so don’t settle for people trying to steal your shine or sit on you. You have needs, but don’t turn your needs and wants to desperation. THAT’S A DEAD END! Keep trying until you get the results you want. Better yet, don’t be afraid to reach out to me. I care deeply about people and who they view themselves as. I appreciate you and you should appreciate yourself too.

7. Expect The Best

Expect that people will like you for you. If it doesn’t happen immediately, keep expecting. You should wake up in the mornings, go throughout the day, and go to bed expecting. I cannot stress it enough. It can be overbearing at times, and you will face disappointments, but that’s life. We shall move pass that. Everything needs balance. Without bad, we wouldn’t know what is good, so keep keeping on and expect more for yourself.

Conclusion

Practice these examples for 30 days and leave me a message on my Facebook. Let me know how this is going for you. It is guaranteed that people will begin to gravitate towards you. Try these steps with yourself before anyone out there will try them with you. Remember, I know you are AWESOME!

Featured photo credit: eflon via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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