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7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

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7 Things You Can Do To Make People Like You More

You may be going to bed at night wondering why people at your job or school aren’t your friends. Well, you’re in luck my friend because I had no issues gaining friends and you’re about to be coached. I can help you get people to like you more.

What is this buzz about popularity anyway? Why does it matter so much? Let’s face it, it’s just no fun being at home on a Saturday night staring at the four walls – unless you choose to that is. Don’t get me wrong, some weekends you’ll want to have “boo loving” sessions with your other half, watching a movie or just staying in and reading a book. However, since you are reading this article that is not really your intention at the moment.

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Now, get comfortable and let the guru of friends making teach you a thing or two… or seven.

1. Be Cool

Your confidence is important. You may be a simple house-cat, but what’s so wrong with viewing yourself as a beautifully striped tiger. It’s crazy how the way you view yourself is how people will react to you… well most of them. Some people literally start off their days trying to be a more awesome a**hole than they already are. Don’t settle for that, and don’t dwell on what those people say. You don’t even have to acknowledge their existence. You’re better than that. Create such an aura to yourself that when you step out of your house, you don’t remember to care about negativity. How do you get to this? Good question. That leads me to number two.

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2. Compliment-ary Service

Compliment yourself before you leave the bathroom in the morning. You have to convince yourself before you can try it somewhere else. This worked out well for me during high school, college, and even now. You may not have it all together but people on the outside don’t need to know that. Stop moping around and let them feel as if you are stronger than your situation. Soon after, you’ll start believing it too. When you believe in this, you become it. Also, when you compliment yourself it’s so powerful that people will have a difficult time trying to put you down. If you compliment yourself as part of your daily routine, people can put you down but it won’t sink in as well as your morning message does. Push through the hurt and stick to it. I’m not saying you won’t doubt yourself with all that’s going on but push through it; you have to promulgate an effort.

3. So Fresh And So Clean

Hygiene is important. It’s a known fact that when you smell good you feel good. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, flossing, wearing clean clothes, and using a decent amount of cologne or perfume (please don’t overdo it) will do wonders for you. You’ll be walking somewhere and people will look at you and say “Nice Outfit!” or “You smell amazing!” This will bring one of the greatest feelings on Earth. After all, we are just humans and we love to feel good. What do you know? Those same compliments are opportunities for striking up a conversation which could lead to great friendships. Anything is possible.

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4. Smile!

For Heaven’s sake would you smile more? Smiles are universal. No matter where you go they mean the same thing. I read an article when I was about 15 that said even faking a smile will release those happy hormones (endorphins). Do you know what that means? Those are the same hormones your body releases when you genuinely smile or laugh. Let that sink in. Your body gives the same reaction for any type of smile – genuine or not. Try this out with strangers. At 23 years old, I am the queen of smiling, and I’m still a people person. What does that tell you? It means that a smile can go a long way. Plus, if it worked for me, it will work for you too. We are no different.

5. Sign Me Up

Be open to have fun! Join a club with something that you like or something that you’re good at. I have loved music since I knew myself so it led me to joining the school choir. Up until now, I still have friends who are making music that I met from the choir. Now, would you look at that? You get to meet people and share common ground with them. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? If not, it states that like attracts like. Therefore, if you are in a place with people who like the same things you like, they are bound to like you more. If you haven’t found something you like yet, that’s fine too. All hope is not gone! You can either start your own group or suggest something fun to someone. Be random, be courageous, and be consistent. Before you do this, make sure that person is already in your circle of friends. Just to be safe, that means not a complete stranger.

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6. Live To Please

You are not a shadow or a bean bag, so don’t settle for people trying to steal your shine or sit on you. You have needs, but don’t turn your needs and wants to desperation. THAT’S A DEAD END! Keep trying until you get the results you want. Better yet, don’t be afraid to reach out to me. I care deeply about people and who they view themselves as. I appreciate you and you should appreciate yourself too.

7. Expect The Best

Expect that people will like you for you. If it doesn’t happen immediately, keep expecting. You should wake up in the mornings, go throughout the day, and go to bed expecting. I cannot stress it enough. It can be overbearing at times, and you will face disappointments, but that’s life. We shall move pass that. Everything needs balance. Without bad, we wouldn’t know what is good, so keep keeping on and expect more for yourself.

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Conclusion

Practice these examples for 30 days and leave me a message on my Facebook. Let me know how this is going for you. It is guaranteed that people will begin to gravitate towards you. Try these steps with yourself before anyone out there will try them with you. Remember, I know you are AWESOME!

Featured photo credit: eflon via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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