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Things That People Who’ve Lost Their Parents Really Want You To Know

Things That People Who’ve Lost Their Parents Really Want You To Know

Death is never a gentleman. He is always terse and strident. That is why losing a loved one is never easy, especially your parents. I remember when my mom passed. It was horrible. My father had passed 8 years earlier and that was difficult enough. When my mom passed just under a decade later, I went numb. Several years have put space between me and their deaths. Things are definitely easier now. Time is one of the best baby step inventions ever created.

I still wish other people could understand, though. I’m sure you do too. For those of us who have lost our parents, conversations can be difficult. Friends and existing family members may wonder why we disconnect at times. They may be uncomfortable with our periodic emotional breakdowns. If you have lost someone close, you know exactly what I am talking about. To that end, take a look at the items below, inspired by The Odyssey Online. They will help navigate conversation when needed. The following is a list of things we wish everyone knew about those of us who have lost our parents.

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Memorabilia Takes On New Meaning

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    All those old pictures and videos are priceless to us. Any personal items they had that might be tucked away in storage are guarded like treasure. You might wonder why we get nervous when you hold dad’s old handkerchief or mom’s favorite cookbook. It’s because those things are all we have left. They are more than “stuff.” They are physical representations of shared experiences we had with them.

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    Holidays Are Painful

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      This is one of those times when emotions are swirling. Friends and family gather from far and near. There is much laughter as we reminisce about the good times. Yet we might break down at some point and need a hug because we realize there will never be anymore of those moments shared with our parents.

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      We Are Jealous Of You

      We remember what it was like to have both of our parents here. Hearing you speak poorly of one or praise another will stir resentment in us. It may not even take that. Sometimes, all it takes is a mere mention of your mother or father and our eyes get red and teary.

      Your “Sorry” Lacks Meaning For Us

      That might seem harsh, but it’s true. We hear the word “sorry” all the time. We know you mean well, but you are not as familiar with our story. It seems like just another word people say because society mandates this as proper behavior. We hear you, but the sentiment is hollow. Follow up with a hug and more conversation.

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      We Think About Them A Lot

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        Whenever we reach a milestone, we wonder how they would feel. If we graduate, are they proud? If we get married, do they approve? Would they take this business deal or auto loan, etc.? We wonder a million times every day what they think about what we are doing. We don’t want to let them down.

        We Love Old Stories

        We never get tired of hearing old stories about our parents from aunts, uncles, other relatives, and friends still living. We will always take the time to listen to them and laugh. These are glimpses into their world that we might not otherwise have known about. It’s like stealing a memory and making it our own. So keep this in mind the next time we seem distant. Remember this when we are breaking down emotionally at a family gathering. We still want to talk. We still want to laugh. You are very much a part of our life and we love you dearly. We just miss our parents — a lot.

        Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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        Last Updated on June 13, 2019

        How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

        How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

        Think you have a boring life?

        The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

        Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

        1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

        What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

        Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

        2. Go Play with Kids

        Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

        They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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        3. Order a Hot Dog

        While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

        4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

        Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

        5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

        You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

        You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

        6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

        Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

        Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

        7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

        Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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        What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

        8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

        You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

        9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

        Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

        10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

        We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

        11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

        It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

        12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

        This will give you something to look forward to.

        Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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        13. People Watch

        Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

        People are infinitely interesting.

        14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

        Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

        15. Dance

        You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

        If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

        16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

        This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

        17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

        Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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        18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

        Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

        19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

        OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

        20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

        This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

        Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

        Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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        Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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