Advertising
Advertising

How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

Too often, we believe that something we do must be grandiose and magnificent in order for it to have meaning or to be remembered. Not so. In fact, it is the smallest of moments that truly capture our hearts, only to leave a mark on our memories forever. At times, we may not even realize the ways we shine unless someone points them out to us.

Sitting with some friends a few years ago at a bar, I had a conversation with my friend’s daughter, who was working there. In a matter of 15 minutes, this young lady had completely changed her attitude towards something she was trying to understand. I merely pointed out another way to look at it. Without pretense or planning, I just shared a few ideas. That’s all it took.

Something little, like a few words shared, can change anything.

Advertising

Our gifts and talents are our own and have been granted to us for a reason. Hiding them is a disservice.

How many times have you made excuses or assigned the responsibility to someone else, claiming to be too busy or too tired? How many times have we believed that we were incapable of making a difference in someone else’s life?

We shine when we let the world see us for our true selves and hold nothing back, when we abandon our fears and allow our hearts to be free. But how do we really shine in a world that seems to be full of darkness, negativity, and hate?

Advertising

1. We smile

I know it sounds too corny and easy to be true, but it is impossible to ignore. When we smile — even at complete strangers — we feel happy and share that with others. Why do you think we love the “welcome home” reunions and surprises so much on YouTube? Every single one has a smile in it and we connect with the emotion captured in each video. Long after the moment has passed and we have gone about our days, we can’t help but find ourselves thinking back at that moment, and what do we do? We smile.

2. We serve others

Giving our time and talent to others gives people permission to do the same. Why do you think we all get this “warm fuzzy” feeling when we “ring the bell” or serve dinner during the holiday season? It makes us feel good. It shows others that people really do care and want to do not just what society tells us to, but what we know is right. Our souls need to be replenished just as much as every stomach, and when we put other’s needs ahead of our own — without expectation — we inadvertently “pay it forward” and “pass the torch” to another to do the same.

3. We hold someone’s hand

In that single touch, we say “I’m here,” “I care,” and “I am here for you,” without saying a word. When we are afraid, lonely, or lost and there is nothing else, we grab hold and don’t let go. We commit to someone for this moment, even if that moment doesn’t last much longer than a minute or two. Days from now, it will be something we cherish. Because in that simple act of human touch, someone connected with us and made us feel important, special, and loved.

Advertising

4. We chase our dreams

Whether we want to believe it or not, people are always watching what we are doing and saying. Our acts of courage and adventure, even defying the status quo can incite an internal riot within ourselves that only can be described as “permission” to someone who is wanting to take that leap, too. Dreamers give us hope and naturally shine without really even trying. Although our dreams may be different, the feeling we get from chasing them is always the same.

5. We live authentically

The old phrase “You get what you see” actually holds some truth, instead of simply being a quick way to deflect and keep people out. We do what we said we would do, we keep promises, we actually “walk the talk” and encourage others to take down walls and be a little vulnerable. Letting people see our hearts now and again allows us moments to shine and leaves a little bit of you with others. We still need to create some mystery about who we are and every one of us becomes captivated by the magic of someone listening to their heart and their willingness to share it with others.

6. We believe in others

There are no words to describe the imprint some people leave on our lives. Without even noticing or wanting much fanfare, they have permanently marked our souls like we never could have imagined. We see goodness and potential in someone who has yet to see their own gifts and talents, let alone share them with the world. We show them how to “live inspired” and encourage them to find the true meaning of their purpose, all while being who they really are. Giving people permission to “shine” makes the world brighter and it allows the rest of us to see through everything ugly in our world.

Advertising

Conclusion:

This world is what we make it. Hands down, we can take the easy road and let the sludge and and muck bury us. We know it can and it will. Some will find not be able to get out of the grime unless someone helps them. There is still greatness to be shared and we know it matters. It will change the world and it will inspire future generations to shine brighter than they even imagined. In order for anything extraordinary to happen, we must remember it. The moments found in the glitter that sparkles left long after you are gone will no doubt leave an impression that will not wain — you have changed the world.

More by this author

Michelle A. Homme

Author, Speaker, Quote Writer, Empowerment Coach

5 important things to do every day to improve your memory The Best 8 Ways to Begin Anything mppiqkoi7hq-danielle-macinnes 5 Things Every Child Needs To Be Successful In Life wp0wz28ltue-dino-reichmuth 5 Amazing Things You Gain By Doing The Unthinkable 7 Things Only an Entrepreneur Understands

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next