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How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

Too often, we believe that something we do must be grandiose and magnificent in order for it to have meaning or to be remembered. Not so. In fact, it is the smallest of moments that truly capture our hearts, only to leave a mark on our memories forever. At times, we may not even realize the ways we shine unless someone points them out to us.

Sitting with some friends a few years ago at a bar, I had a conversation with my friend’s daughter, who was working there. In a matter of 15 minutes, this young lady had completely changed her attitude towards something she was trying to understand. I merely pointed out another way to look at it. Without pretense or planning, I just shared a few ideas. That’s all it took.

Something little, like a few words shared, can change anything.

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Our gifts and talents are our own and have been granted to us for a reason. Hiding them is a disservice.

How many times have you made excuses or assigned the responsibility to someone else, claiming to be too busy or too tired? How many times have we believed that we were incapable of making a difference in someone else’s life?

We shine when we let the world see us for our true selves and hold nothing back, when we abandon our fears and allow our hearts to be free. But how do we really shine in a world that seems to be full of darkness, negativity, and hate?

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1. We smile

I know it sounds too corny and easy to be true, but it is impossible to ignore. When we smile — even at complete strangers — we feel happy and share that with others. Why do you think we love the “welcome home” reunions and surprises so much on YouTube? Every single one has a smile in it and we connect with the emotion captured in each video. Long after the moment has passed and we have gone about our days, we can’t help but find ourselves thinking back at that moment, and what do we do? We smile.

2. We serve others

Giving our time and talent to others gives people permission to do the same. Why do you think we all get this “warm fuzzy” feeling when we “ring the bell” or serve dinner during the holiday season? It makes us feel good. It shows others that people really do care and want to do not just what society tells us to, but what we know is right. Our souls need to be replenished just as much as every stomach, and when we put other’s needs ahead of our own — without expectation — we inadvertently “pay it forward” and “pass the torch” to another to do the same.

3. We hold someone’s hand

In that single touch, we say “I’m here,” “I care,” and “I am here for you,” without saying a word. When we are afraid, lonely, or lost and there is nothing else, we grab hold and don’t let go. We commit to someone for this moment, even if that moment doesn’t last much longer than a minute or two. Days from now, it will be something we cherish. Because in that simple act of human touch, someone connected with us and made us feel important, special, and loved.

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4. We chase our dreams

Whether we want to believe it or not, people are always watching what we are doing and saying. Our acts of courage and adventure, even defying the status quo can incite an internal riot within ourselves that only can be described as “permission” to someone who is wanting to take that leap, too. Dreamers give us hope and naturally shine without really even trying. Although our dreams may be different, the feeling we get from chasing them is always the same.

5. We live authentically

The old phrase “You get what you see” actually holds some truth, instead of simply being a quick way to deflect and keep people out. We do what we said we would do, we keep promises, we actually “walk the talk” and encourage others to take down walls and be a little vulnerable. Letting people see our hearts now and again allows us moments to shine and leaves a little bit of you with others. We still need to create some mystery about who we are and every one of us becomes captivated by the magic of someone listening to their heart and their willingness to share it with others.

6. We believe in others

There are no words to describe the imprint some people leave on our lives. Without even noticing or wanting much fanfare, they have permanently marked our souls like we never could have imagined. We see goodness and potential in someone who has yet to see their own gifts and talents, let alone share them with the world. We show them how to “live inspired” and encourage them to find the true meaning of their purpose, all while being who they really are. Giving people permission to “shine” makes the world brighter and it allows the rest of us to see through everything ugly in our world.

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Conclusion:

This world is what we make it. Hands down, we can take the easy road and let the sludge and and muck bury us. We know it can and it will. Some will find not be able to get out of the grime unless someone helps them. There is still greatness to be shared and we know it matters. It will change the world and it will inspire future generations to shine brighter than they even imagined. In order for anything extraordinary to happen, we must remember it. The moments found in the glitter that sparkles left long after you are gone will no doubt leave an impression that will not wain — you have changed the world.

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Michelle A. Homme

Author, Speaker, Quote Writer, Empowerment Coach

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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