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How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

How We Shine Every Day In The Sparkle We Leave Behind

Too often, we believe that something we do must be grandiose and magnificent in order for it to have meaning or to be remembered. Not so. In fact, it is the smallest of moments that truly capture our hearts, only to leave a mark on our memories forever. At times, we may not even realize the ways we shine unless someone points them out to us.

Sitting with some friends a few years ago at a bar, I had a conversation with my friend’s daughter, who was working there. In a matter of 15 minutes, this young lady had completely changed her attitude towards something she was trying to understand. I merely pointed out another way to look at it. Without pretense or planning, I just shared a few ideas. That’s all it took.

Something little, like a few words shared, can change anything.

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Our gifts and talents are our own and have been granted to us for a reason. Hiding them is a disservice.

How many times have you made excuses or assigned the responsibility to someone else, claiming to be too busy or too tired? How many times have we believed that we were incapable of making a difference in someone else’s life?

We shine when we let the world see us for our true selves and hold nothing back, when we abandon our fears and allow our hearts to be free. But how do we really shine in a world that seems to be full of darkness, negativity, and hate?

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1. We smile

I know it sounds too corny and easy to be true, but it is impossible to ignore. When we smile — even at complete strangers — we feel happy and share that with others. Why do you think we love the “welcome home” reunions and surprises so much on YouTube? Every single one has a smile in it and we connect with the emotion captured in each video. Long after the moment has passed and we have gone about our days, we can’t help but find ourselves thinking back at that moment, and what do we do? We smile.

2. We serve others

Giving our time and talent to others gives people permission to do the same. Why do you think we all get this “warm fuzzy” feeling when we “ring the bell” or serve dinner during the holiday season? It makes us feel good. It shows others that people really do care and want to do not just what society tells us to, but what we know is right. Our souls need to be replenished just as much as every stomach, and when we put other’s needs ahead of our own — without expectation — we inadvertently “pay it forward” and “pass the torch” to another to do the same.

3. We hold someone’s hand

In that single touch, we say “I’m here,” “I care,” and “I am here for you,” without saying a word. When we are afraid, lonely, or lost and there is nothing else, we grab hold and don’t let go. We commit to someone for this moment, even if that moment doesn’t last much longer than a minute or two. Days from now, it will be something we cherish. Because in that simple act of human touch, someone connected with us and made us feel important, special, and loved.

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4. We chase our dreams

Whether we want to believe it or not, people are always watching what we are doing and saying. Our acts of courage and adventure, even defying the status quo can incite an internal riot within ourselves that only can be described as “permission” to someone who is wanting to take that leap, too. Dreamers give us hope and naturally shine without really even trying. Although our dreams may be different, the feeling we get from chasing them is always the same.

5. We live authentically

The old phrase “You get what you see” actually holds some truth, instead of simply being a quick way to deflect and keep people out. We do what we said we would do, we keep promises, we actually “walk the talk” and encourage others to take down walls and be a little vulnerable. Letting people see our hearts now and again allows us moments to shine and leaves a little bit of you with others. We still need to create some mystery about who we are and every one of us becomes captivated by the magic of someone listening to their heart and their willingness to share it with others.

6. We believe in others

There are no words to describe the imprint some people leave on our lives. Without even noticing or wanting much fanfare, they have permanently marked our souls like we never could have imagined. We see goodness and potential in someone who has yet to see their own gifts and talents, let alone share them with the world. We show them how to “live inspired” and encourage them to find the true meaning of their purpose, all while being who they really are. Giving people permission to “shine” makes the world brighter and it allows the rest of us to see through everything ugly in our world.

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Conclusion:

This world is what we make it. Hands down, we can take the easy road and let the sludge and and muck bury us. We know it can and it will. Some will find not be able to get out of the grime unless someone helps them. There is still greatness to be shared and we know it matters. It will change the world and it will inspire future generations to shine brighter than they even imagined. In order for anything extraordinary to happen, we must remember it. The moments found in the glitter that sparkles left long after you are gone will no doubt leave an impression that will not wain — you have changed the world.

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Michelle A. Homme

Author, Speaker, Quote Writer, Empowerment Coach

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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