Every teacher knows that they are, many times, the ones who learn from their students.
I am no different. Yes, I educate students about course content, and I do it quite well. I have taught public school for about a decade and a half. I have had the privilege of teaching students of all ages throughout my teaching career. I must say that I have always enjoyed teaching — every level has its special qualities. However, I have become the learner many days in my classroom. Simply by observing my students and the way I interact with them, I ended up learning many lessons. The following are my top three. I feel that they are lessons that all parents should take note of.
There are a lot of things that take our attention away from our children — texts from co-workers, family issues, answering e-mails, work that you have to take home, and wanting some time to just sit down and watch a TV show for a bit of downtime after a long day. However, your children are begging to be listened to.
No matter how outlandish, silly, or absurd the story is, just listen. They tell their teachers all kinds of stories, from the mundane to the just plain weird. What do they really want? For anyone, especially their parents, to listen!
Children, even seniors in high school, need to feel as though they are being heard; that their words are important. It helps their self esteem, it allows them to make real connections, and it helps them to learn how to interact with others. In a world where many of them simply communicate electronically, nothing replaces real world connections of the heart.
2. Accept them for who they are.
Children often go through many, and I mean many, phases and stages. They may have one group of friends at the beginning of school and a totally different group of friends by Christmas break. They are merely trying to figure out where they fit in and who they are. Parents are often too quick to judge sometimes — myself included, I will admit. What they really need is for us to just sit back and watch their transformations into what will be something wonderful.
They need the support of those who really matter — their parents. Teachers will treat them the same no matter what stage in life they are in, supporting them and encouraging them. After all, that is what teachers do. As parents, we often wear our hearts on our sleeve. Our emotions run high because it is our child that is involved, and ultimately our baby out there.
I have found that if you simply take a step back and encourage them, more than likely they will end up making the right decision. After all, you taught them well as their parent.
3. Be there.
Again, our lives are hectic. We work all day, have to shuttle kids to practice, need to make dinner of some sort, run errands, and a host of other things before bed time — it’s no wonder high blood pressure is a norm. But, what your kids need from you is to just focus on them when you are with them. Put down the phone, ignore the text, don’t reply to that e-mail, and call that person back in an hour or so. Better yet, it can wait until after they are in bed! Teachers have learned that children simply need an adult to be the adult — to hug them, help them with the schoolwork, help them work through peer problems, and sometimes to just talk.
Parents would do well to just focus on the child when they are with them. As a parent, our time with our children is fleeting. As the mom of a sophomore in college and a sophomore in high school, the time flies by.
Even if all you have are those brief moments in the car going from here to there, turn off the radio and talk. Talk about their day, talk about important issues, talk about things you want to pass on to them. Not to get too deep, but we are never promised tomorrow. Talk to your child as if today is the last day you will have with them. Look into their eyes, hold their hands, hug them tight, and let them know that there is no one else in this whole world you would rather be with than them.
Teachers know that they are doing everything they can to teach your child what he or she needs to know to be successful.
Parents, too, need to remember that they are doing a great job. After all, parenting is the toughest but most rewarding job in the world!
For more thoughts on talking and listening to your child, read this.
Featured photo credit: Caught Reading/John Morgan via albumarium.com