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5 Things That People With Anxiety Want You To Know

5 Things That People With Anxiety Want You To Know

A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. This is anxiety – sounds like something we’ve all experienced multiple times in our lives? Anxiety is completely normal; it touches on many of our emotions which characterize us as human. However, when you have too much anxiety it’s known as an anxiety disorder, and it’s a lot more common than you would imagine. Roughly 18% of US citizens over the age of 18 have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, in the big picture 1 out of 13 people worldwide have anxiety.

Here are 5 things people with anxiety want you to know.

1. Have some patience

Having someone close to you with anxiety can really be confusing. You may ask, “why do we have to avoid certain places, situations, and deal with irrational logic?” It Isn’t their fault. Anxiety doesn’t have set criteria, it uses to choose the target it preys on, anyone can develop this disorder at anytime in their lives. Trust me when I say they didn’t choose to live with the extra burden of impending doom lurking around every corner.

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Emotionally, anxiety takes a lot out of you, as the victim or someone close to them. Anyone with anxiety will be first to tell you how much they appreciate you sticking through the bad times and the good. It means a lot to have the emotional support of friends and family, especially for times that are worse than others. As they say,” You’ll find out who your friends really are”  – this is such a good example of the saying. Anyone who sticks it out through it all, really is a true friend, and they really appreciate it more than they admit.

2. Don’t try to fix them

Anxiety Isn’t something you can fix, pushing someone too hard will make things worse. The last thing someone suffering with anxiety needs is someone close to them trying to solve their disorder with brute force and persistence. Let them use coping skills and work through the problem at their own pace, make them feel comfortable, without being overbearing.

Most importantly, never make a big deal about a panic attack or irrational behavior. The more you talk about or bring up an episode of anxiety and try to diagnose the issue, the more frustrated they will become and ultimately lead to further episodes. Lastly, don’t talk about their anxiety with other people, it can be embarrassing, and make them feel more uncomfortable than they already are. Let them disclose their personal issues for themselves.

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3. Know that anxiety is often misunderstood

There are so many social misconceptions on anxiety, I’ll cover the most common, which are also the most frustrating. People are lead to believe that anxiety always stems from a poor childhood, fear, or trauma. This isn’t always the case, more common than not it’s genetic, and your family has a history of anxiety, some cases more severe than others. Another big one is that people seem to believe you can just fix “it”. Anxiety disorders don’t evaporate with the morning mist, although that would be nice, it isn’t a that easy.

For many people anxiety will be with them for their entire life. With proper coping skills and conditioning you can still achieve a more than decent way of life with time. The capital offender of misconceptions is thinking you can tell someone to “just relax.” Sadly, there isn’t a switch you can use to turn off someone else’s anxiety, you’re going to have to sideline yourself and wait for them to cope with it on their own.

4. Understand that anxiety doesn’t make you “weak”

Anxiety has plagued mankind for our entire existence, overcoming adversity is one of humanity’s most valuable skills. Some of the most iconic people in our history have had anxiety disorders, even without modern medicine they didn’t give up. In modern days we have social figures with these disorders and they overcome and succeed on a world stage. Assuming someone with anxiety are weak, broken, or wortrless is ignorant. Here are a few familiar faces you wouldn’t have guessed cope or coped with anxiety.

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  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Leann Rimes
  • Johnny Depp
  • Kate Moss
  • Emma Stone
  • Joey Votto
  • Kim Basinger
  • Charlie Beljan
  • Scarlett Johansson
  • Adele

These are some of the public figures that aren’t shy about their condition and openly talk about coping skills and how they overcame anxiety and achieved their dreams. Many people are affected by anxiety, and achieve great things. I doubt you would consider any of the listed people above as “weak.”

5. Learn how to relate to an anxiety you don’t have

Plain and simple: you don’t have it, so how could you understand something that someone with the condition has a hard time making sense of for themselves? Anxiety can make those affected be irrational, and hard to reason with. Especially when they know they are being irrational and still can’t cope with anxiety.

When you experience something like a panic attack it triggers the famed “fight or flight” response, which releases chemicals in your brain such as adrenaline and cortisol. When these chemicals are released it slows digestion, increases heart rate and pushes blood into your major muscle groups. Leaving you feeling faint while your limbs go numb due to an influx in blood flow, and autonomic nervous functions, when this occurs you can push your muscles to the absolute maximum and achieve a great burst of strength and energy you normally wouldn’t be able to achieve maximizing survivability, hence the “flight or fight response”.

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If you’ve ever experienced this before you can get a glimpse into what many people live through everyday. Don’t lose hope, many have dealt with this in the past and many more will deal with anxiety in the future. Try to understand them.

Featured photo credit: Womans hands connected With Tangled String/ Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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