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Why I Would Rather Spend My Money On Traveling

Why I Would Rather Spend My Money On Traveling

I am currently in my early 20s, and I have to admit that everyone and their mum’s uncle will tell me that, “your 20s are your time to experience life”. I can now say that I believe in that statement 100%. Yours 20s are a time where you have very little responsibility, and you have the time to see the world as a traveler. And by traveler I mean, meeting other travelers, backpacking trips, sleeping in hostels, and even at a point where you’d have to sleep on floors. Andrew Zimmerman once said, “Please be a traveler, not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what’s right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in”.

So I would say, travel in yours 20s. Travel with family, friends, new friends, and even alone. Travel to see your friends that live in different countries. Seeing familiar faces in a foreign land will be quite reassuring. When you’re in your 30s or so, you might want to travel slightly differently. You might (well I definitely do) want to stay in The Peninsula in Paris, or dine at Usine in Stockholm.

You’re going to make everlasting memories

“I’d rather look back and say, ‘I can’t believe I did that,’ instead of saying ‘I wish I did that.’”

When you travel, you’re going to fall in love. And I don’t just mean by the people you meet there, but you will also fall in love with the beauty, architecture, and even the culture. You will be so in love; you’d actually feel inspired. Inspired to do what, you may ask? I can’t say. That is too personal a question- everyone would feel different about it so it could be anything.

You’ll also then realize that the memories you make while traveling will last longer than anything else. Life is a wonderful gift and everyone should experience it and live it. If you’re like me, and you constantly daydream about a life where you can finally escape, do it. Just get up and do it. On your deathbed, you’ll remember the memories. It’ll be the stories you’ll tell your kids, it’ll be the life you look back on when you’re older. Experience true beauty and fall, madly and deeply, in love with it

 You’ll push your limits

“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life” – Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing my Life

Now I have to say, I’m the kind of person that thinks about my future way too often and too extremely (I’m serious here, I wouldn’t even research too much on a celebrity in the hope we might become friends one day). I’m also the type that doesn’t break the rules, or does something I’m not supposed to. It’s a fear that I’ve developed since young- to do everything according to a plan, which is to appear perfect. As I grew up, I realized that this is absolutely ridiculous and that my life is utterly boring. It hit me especially hard when I asked my friend, “If you could keep one memory, just one, what would it be?” and I realized I couldn’t really answer that. I’ve lived a very planned out life, and nothing seemed to be overly exciting. And please don’t get me wrong- my parents never pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do; it was me who pressured myself.

Something I really want to do (and from listening to my friends who often travel) is to travel alone. That may seem like a scary thought but if your reason is fear, then fear will stop you from doing everything you want to do in life. Traveling alone will allow you to get to know yourself, learn more about yourself, and you’ll love yourself even more. And besides you won’t really be alone. You can always make new friends. Friends are just strangers you haven’t met yet, right? I’m not really used to making friends on my own but I’m starting to- it changes you. You just need to get out of your comfort zone. You’ll then realize humanity is interconnected and it’s SO easy to make friends.

Stop holding yourself back because you’re too afraid to bring your dreams to reality. Be the main character in your life story- do whatever you want, and live your life the way you want it to be.

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 You’ll appreciate life

“Enjoy life today, because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is never promised.”

The main excuse I hear is that traveling takes up too much money. It’s true it’s not cheap but it’s not as expensive as you think. All you need is to make a few sacrifices, plan these things out, and control your finances. But please do not get me wrong; you still need to plan out your future. Don’t use every single penny on traveling, and when you’re back home, you’re broke. No, that’s never a good idea. Plan everything out, and do not neglect your future. You don’t need that much to travel. Live on the cheap side- with friends, in hostels, and eat cheap. Money does not equal to happiness. It may sound like a lot of work but trust me on this, it’ll be the greatest invest you’ll ever make.

When you travel, you’ll fall in love with everything- the country/city, the people, or even someone in particular. It’s an experience worth having because it changes you, and even how you view the world. You’ll realize that not everything is about you, and there’s a bigger world out there. You’ll truly understand what the world is really like.

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And with that, I can honestly say traveling the world is something you will never regret. I know I won’t. I will travel in my 20s and continue to travel even after my 20s- just slightly differently.

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NOORMARINA ANWAR

Student, Monash University

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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